Last night my wife went into the garage to sustain her filthy disgusting habit of smoking. And left the door open.
My 2007 Cervelo dual was the only item taken. The bike I did my first IM on. The bike with my kids names on the fork because they always support me. The bike that fit like a glove.
They should have left the bike and took my wife. Even though she has alot more miles on her and isn’t as nice to ride!
Oh well. Off to the bike store.
:0
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Caster beans or Anti freeze/ coolent
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Sounds like a good deal to me. Once you have a new carbon bike you will not miss the old one at all. Also a good oppurtunity to guilt her into quitting as aparently wanting to be alive to see the kids grow up and those super disgusting tv adds have not been enough.
for some women, telling them that their clothing budget for the next year or two just rolled out of the garage might be enough to kill them.
really sorry to hear about the bike. If that doesn’t scare her straight, I don’t know what will. Good luck with the insurance.
Barry
Take the cigarettes away. Your addiction was stolen…
Or you could just get yourself a snakey divorce lawyer and avoid the jail time. With this on her record you wouldn’t be paying near as much in child support.
I guess I’ll be doing alot of stroke and stride events and no tri’s. Maybe I’ll take the training wheels off the boys Huffy and give it a go.
Buy her a case of the nicotine patch. That’s what worked for me. Then, take the money she would have spent on ciggies and put it towards some screaming race wheels or some such toy. Take the cash every day and put it in a big jar in the kitchen where she can see it accumulate over time, then take her with you when you go shopping for the new toy so she can watch how money should be spent.
Sorry man, so suck. I’m sure she feels terrible too. But, maybe this is enough to get her to quit.
If you keep your eye out on Craigslist and report it you might get it back since it is unique.
Come home with your dream bike and thank her!
I love my bikes but I also love getting new bikes. I sometimes secretly wish to have one stolen so I can buy the latest and greatest 
I did actually have a bike stolen before. I was kind of bummed but I got over it quickly because the insurance payout allowed me to get something significantly nicer.
She saved you the need to lie to her when you bring that new P2C into the house that ALSO fits you like a glove, that will carry you to many more IMs, and on which you can have your kids mugs custom painted!
Chain the wife up in the garage. Leave the door open. Get a new bike and keep that safe in the bedroom. Simple!
Offing her is easy. It is the body disposal that is difficult. According to my FBI friend you need to wrap the body in chain link fence and sink it in deep water. Just ask Scott Peterson what happens if you forget the chain link part.
I’m so sorry about your loss… but this thread has got some really funny replies - passive aggressive all over 
seriously, tell her that Chantix is absolutely fantastic. I thought I could NEVER stop smoking … with Chantix it was so simple it was almost scary … I just plain didn’t want to smoke any more.
nobody WANTS to smoke … the addiction is huge, tho.
That is a good idea. I always heard to tie cinder blocks to the legs, and to drive a stake through the two bones in the lower leg to attach, so that the blocks dont slide loose, which happens if you shackle around a limb. The chain link fence is much less messy. Gotta love the FBI!
considering that she was a big part of those kids that support you, I’d say forgive her. Mistakes happen… she didn’t steal it, quit misdirecting your anger…
considering that she was a big part of those kids that support you, I’d say forgive her. Mistakes happen… she didn’t steal it, quit misdirecting your anger…
Hmm… Sarcasm impaired…
Did she smoke when you married her? If so, then deal with it. If not, take her out back.
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