How Do We Make Penance To The Wind God?

Triathlon Forum
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I have raised the ire of the Wind God. I do not know what I did, but, I’m figuring some of you have dealt with him or her, or it, on this problem, and have some suggestions, for placating the Wind God.

In my last seven rides, the Wind God has been switching its directions, INTENTIONALLY, to follow in opposition to me, so that I ride directly into 23-30 mile per hour gale force winds, or which feel like gale force winds at least, I’ll say, at all times during bike rides.

At first I thought this was just in my mind and tried not to believe this, but then, it kept happening, and I started testing this by quickly turning my bike around to go with the wind, but the wind would immediately change, to go into opposition against me. Coincidental, I’m thinking? Wrong. I still couldn’t believe it, and carried my cell phone to confirm this with my wife during a bike ride. The weather channel would say: Winds West By Southwest 24 MPH, and then I called my wife and say, “I’m fixing to turn around, what does it say now?” She said, “Winds East By Northeast, 32 MPH.”

Every bike ride for me, now, is nothing more than a severe wind tunnel test.

I have convinced other disbelievers. I recruited some of my biking friends to ride with me a few days ago and warned them: “the wind will go directly against us in whichever direction we turn, so BRING YOUR AERO BARS!” I told them I was serious, that, if they didn’t, they’d never make it back to their cars. So, after we started off, we immediately began riding against a strong headwind, this due to the fact, that I still had not made penance or contrition to the Wind God!

Several of them said, “at least we’ll have the wind on our way back.” I promptly reminded them that I had offended the Wind God, and that it was a pipe dream to believe we would ever have the wind at our backs." They scoffed at such silliness, but, sure enough, after we turned around to ride with the wind, the wind changed, and our thighs were wrecked and burned from riding against the wind back to the start of the ride. Now, all of them are calling me, and now they have each individually offended the Wind God, and are in the same bad vibes with the Wind God as me.

I have googled Wind God AND biking and searched bikeforums.net and other discussion forums and have been unable to find any solutions to this sad state of things. Is there some rooster we can sacrifice or some act of contrition or tribute to pay the wind god to get back right with THE MAN?

2

You need to stop bringing friends along on rides until you sort this all out.

3

Sacrifice Tibbs.

4

Stay in bed. Works for me. A few donuts and unlimited coffee with lots of half-and-half don’t hurt either…

5

Don’t know what to sacrifice or how to pay tribute - except maybe burning a P3C. I think I may have offended THE MAN as well, since I’ve been experiencing the same phenomenon.

6

you embrace the wind, use it to your advantage, become it’s friend. Then and only then will the wind gods realize that they can not fck w/ you. You can fck w/ them.

Besides when it’s windy in races, while everyone else bitches you’ll laugh

7

Wait… I may not should have posted this because there is a slight possibility that a reader of my post, who is ever so slightly cynical about my report, now become harshly judged and punished like me and those who have ridden with me.

Sorry…

Good luck.

8

No one on this board is foolish enough to doubt the power of the wind gods, so fear not.

9

I think you’re misunderstanding something here. The Wind Goddess is bestowing a great gift upon you, if only you knew it. There is nothing better than riding into the wind, except riding up a hill into the wind, and I’m serious, because it demands that you stay in the moment. You can’t let your mind wander, otherwise you get blown off the road. It’s all about your mindset. Here is what you do…you give yourself a riding name, so when you are on your bike, you are no longer Booth Rand. I will make it easier for you and give you your new riding title…

Dances With Wind.

Notice it’s “with” not “against”. You can dance with the wind no matter if it’s blowing directly at you, or behind you, and you can also dance against it no matter what direction it’s coming from. Just remember, it’s a dance, and you have to let it lead.

10

I can only suggest the following incantation while riding into the wind:

phn’glui mglh’nafw Cthulhu R’Lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

phn’glui mglh’nafw Cthulhu R’Lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

phn’glui mglh’nafw Cthulhu R’Lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

Only then will you go completely mad. The wind gods will not be appeased but you’ll be insane anyway!!! A shell of your former self!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

11

I see that many of you are attempting to beguile the Wind God with humor and insulting his great powers. May he take pity on you in your next ride. Let me say that in my experience with him, that the more you attempt to evade the wind god by aerodynamics, and/or mock his great power, the harder he will cast his ire down upon you.

12

I see you’ve not taken me seriously, and yet I am. When I’m riding into a strong wind, which is often, seeing how I ride at elevation, the voices in my head go quiet, and that is the state of being I enjoy best. Sooooooo, I can honestly say I love the wind, it frees me of my own incessant rambling mind.

By the way, The Wind Goddess is feminine buddy.

13

Eat Beans, counter the wind with propultion!

Chris

14

You don’t happen to live in the high desert of Southern California do you? March was nothing but one long blow and at one point we had 10 straight days of 20-30 mph winds. If you are at fault then you need to do whatever it takes to make the madness stop.

Of course, I always grumble when I walk out my door and get blown one house over, so perhaps I have offended as well. Though, I do remember one ride last month where I had a tailwind for at least 30 minutes … that was fun while it lasted.

The problem with the wind is it doesn’t really help you much except when it is pretty much coming right up your tail. So 75 percent of the time it is your enemy and 25 percent of the time you strike up an uneasy alliance. And that is if the wind doesn’t shift …

Chad

15

Buy a powermeter. Then the wind doesn’t matter!

;->

16

I quit mountain biking after having a similar experience with trails.

We would park our car, ride uphill nonstop for 2 hours, and be back at the car. It freaked me out.

We called it the “Escher Trail” except that Escher’s little guys can turn around and go downhill forever. Our trail was uphill in both directions. I swear.

http://www.worldofescher.com/gallery/jpgs/P19.jpg

17

Bring me a hot young virgin girl to de-flower and I will solve your wind problems with the proper gods.

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Sojourner is right…do not struggle against the Wind Goddess, for she is larger than you. She is your ally, seeking only to strengthen mind and body. When thou buckest thine headwinds, thine quads shall become strong like bull and thy mind impervious to such inconveniences. The Wind Goddess wishes only that thou may smile on that windy race day, when all about you curse her name. Thou shall assume thy most aero position and focus thine attention on thy stem and front wheel, glancing up only to insure that thou hast not incurred the wrath of the Pothole God (and to stop at intersections and such).

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http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00004WGVR.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
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