hi everyone, I’m sorry, maybe this is repeated post and my English not so good
i got big trouble now, i got one good girlfriend, she really nice to me but she hate to ride my bike. we started our relationship early last year. at the beginning she understand about my training routine. but when come around 7 months , we always argued about this matter until today. i used to ride my bike every noon(5-6 times per week) when i come back from work. on last October(2013) i don’t want make she feel “lonely” i decided to meet her 5days/week include weekend. i change my training schedule which at morning on weekend, and 3 time only on weekdays. but its come to worse , since April she want to meet me 7days/week. its really my MOOD and performance+nutrition. yesterday she claim me why I’m became so bad lately. and i told her, i’m in stress because i got no time to ride on my bike. she said she hate me because put her on SECOND place. wow!! i have already decrease my training day because of her and since April i just training on trainer(SO BORING MAN!!) we got big fight last night, but i love her so much. anyone can give me a solution
Hate to say this, but compromise is important in every relationship.
Sound’s like you’ve tried. if you guys are unable to help each other be happy, then maybe you’re better off without her.
I’d suggest you have a good, long talk to her. Come out and lay your cards on the table.you need your space to grow and flourish and develop your own interests and dreams… if she has her own interests too, encourage her to develop those. she needs to understand that your life does not solely revolve around her.
hi everyone, I’m sorry, maybe this is repeated post and my English not so good
i got big trouble now, i got one good girlfriend, she really nice to me but she hate to ride my bike. we started our relationship early last year. at the beginning she understand about my training routine. but when come around 7 months , we always argued about this matter until today. i used to ride my bike every noon(5-6 times per week) when i come back from work. on last October(2013) i don’t want make she feel “lonely” i decided to meet her 5days/week include weekend. i change my training schedule which at morning on weekend, and 3 time only on weekdays. but its come to worse , since April she want to meet me 7days/week. its really my MOOD and performance+nutrition. yesterday she claim me why I’m became so bad lately. and i told her, i’m in stress because i got no time to ride on my bike. she said she hate me because put her on SECOND place. wow!! i have already decrease my training day because of her and since April i just training on trainer(SO BORING MAN!!) we got big fight last night, but i love her so much. anyone can give me a solution
I’ve found with girlfriends that if they can’t accept that triathlon and training plays a big role in my life, then I’m better off without them.
I’m not going to let someone I’ve known for a few months dictate my hobbies, life priorities, etc.
I found my current fianc’e at the swimming pool of all places, so she swims 3-4x per week at 5am and we work well together.
Hate to say this, but compromise is important in every relationship.
Sound’s like you’ve tried. if you guys are unable to help each other be happy, then maybe you’re better off without her.
I’d suggest you have a good, long talk to her. Come out and lay your cards on the table.you need your space to grow and flourish and develop your own interests and dreams… if she has her own interests too, encourage her to develop those. she needs to understand that your life does not solely revolve around her.
a relationship is 1x1=1, not 1/2+1/2 =1.
i already gave her 110% my priorities. when i said if she give lil bit space for me i will make sure i can be as good as she want. she always said I’m changing. i have explain to her I’m stress because not get enough training. she never understand at all. btw thanks for your advice, i appreciate it
hi everyone, I’m sorry, maybe this is repeated post and my English not so good
i got big trouble now, i got one good girlfriend, she really nice to me but she hate to ride my bike. we started our relationship early last year. at the beginning she understand about my training routine. but when come around 7 months , we always argued about this matter until today. i used to ride my bike every noon(5-6 times per week) when i come back from work. on last October(2013) i don’t want make she feel “lonely” i decided to meet her 5days/week include weekend. i change my training schedule which at morning on weekend, and 3 time only on weekdays. but its come to worse , since April she want to meet me 7days/week. its really my MOOD and performance+nutrition. yesterday she claim me why I’m became so bad lately. and i told her, i’m in stress because i got no time to ride on my bike. she said she hate me because put her on SECOND place. wow!! i have already decrease my training day because of her and since April i just training on trainer(SO BORING MAN!!) we got big fight last night, but i love her so much. anyone can give me a solution
I’ve found with girlfriends that if they can’t accept that triathlon and training plays a big role in my life, then I’m better off without them.
I’m not going to let someone I’ve known for a few months dictate my hobbies, life priorities, etc.
I found my current fianc’e at the swimming pool of all places, so she swims 3-4x per week at 5am and we work well together.
haaa, she always said, why i cant go training with her(running/cycling). when i said our level is different she get mad to me. haha. she can run but not enough for me to cover my training honestly I’m not good as pro cyclist, but i try and love to challenge my body limit. its give me ultra satisfaction
having a triathlete as a girlfriend can be just as bad. my ex gf was really obsessive with her training during the week, and would get ultra stressed around it and fitting it in etc. then on the weekends, my training had to revolve around her training. she used to get stroppy if we were cycling and she had to “draft” off me for a short period of time, as since you didn’t do it in a race you shouldn’t do it in training (funnily enough she got busted for drafting in a race)…made the whole point of riding with her pretty pointless, plus going at her pace wasn’t much of a workout. hah. plus she would get all emotional and sometimes cry when we were riding and i was easily going up a hill and she was struggling. was really frustrating training with her. and doing a race with her was the worst. haha everything revolved around her when it came to a race.
having a triathlete as a girlfriend can be just as bad. my ex gf was really obsessive with her training during the week, and would get ultra stressed around it and fitting it in etc. then on the weekends, my training had to revolve around her training. she used to get stroppy if we were cycling and she had to “draft” off me for a short period of time, as since you didn’t do it in a race you shouldn’t do it in training (funnily enough she got busted for drafting in a race)…made the whole point of riding with her pretty pointless, plus going at her pace wasn’t much of a workout. hah. plus she would get all emotional and sometimes cry when we were riding and i was easily going up a hill and she was struggling. was really frustrating training with her. and doing a race with her was the worst. haha everything revolved around her when it came to a race.
haha, you are bit lucky than me, at least your girlfriend are triathlete too, can ride with you.mine not. haha. do you think should i ride with her when I’m free. she don’t have any hobby. should i ride to make she feel fair after this?
You’ll get along so much better because you’ll understand each other.
So many people mistake attraction and lust for love and then get divorced soon after that goes away.
You don’t have to compromise with a GF, if she isn’t right now she won’t be right in 20 years either. You are not going to change and neither will she. Find someone that has similar interests, values and priorities.
+1! My GF is a swimmer. We swim together, sometimes jog together and participate in a few swimrun races together. She sometimes gets a bit sad when I have to put in heavy bike mileage, but when I do good at races she is proud of me which feels great.
Sounds like a girlfriend that doesn’t want you to have any hobbies other than her. Everybody needs time to themself. If she can’t understand that, you’re better off without her.
I’m a big believer in compromise, but if you compromise everything you enjoy, then what’s the point?
I think you need a little bit of womens perspective here, Tim.
Ride.
Away from this girl.
As fast as you can.
She’s not really nice to you because she hates your bike and demands attention. Life is too short and there are too many long roads out there. Look after yourself first.
haaa, she always said, why i cant go training with her(running/cycling). when i said our level is different she get mad to me. haha. she can run but not enough for me to cover my training honestly I’m not good as pro cyclist, but i try and love to challenge my body limit. its give me ultra satisfaction
I think this is a huge missed opportunity. Run and ride with her at her pace, and don’t log the miles. Not everything in life is about maximizing your training opportunities. If it’s a shared interest, even at different levels, maybe she’ll feel like she’s a part of it and will be more supportive.
Someone on this forum who is far wiser than I said something like, Given the choice between a real live woman and a bike, take the woman every time. However, if she ever says, “It’s me or the bike”, get on your bike and ride as hard and as fast as you can, and don’t look back!
