And how likely or unlikely would you say a lasting partnership seemed on your first date?
Belonged to the same cycling club.
50/50. But we’ve been married for almost 16 years and together for 20(ish).
I was walking down street in Philly and bumped into a buddy. She was with him, they worked together. They were on the way to Happy Hour for $0.10 Wings. I’m in!
I knew that day, this is my girl. She says I showed all my cards, and she was like, ugh. I existed in the friend zone for over a year. Once I started hanging out with someone else, her antenna dialed right in. (That’s what the Cosmo article said I should do)
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How long did you know each other in the club before dating?
Amazing. Ten cent wings!
Well played though. I was never a friend zone guy, fear of rejection kept me away from people I actually liked.
So how’d you know, what was the hook?
Met at a friend’s wedding.
It was my best friend’s brother’s wedding. My best friend had been dating this girl for like two years (they eventually married and later divorced). I had known his girlfriend the entire time they had been dating. In those two years she had never once mentioned she had a sister. Which is odd, more odd given the fast they’re only a year apart in age. My wife is that sister. They both sat down in the same row as me at the church. I leaned over to my friend’s girlfriend and asked who the girl sitting next to her was. She said it was her sister. I was like, “You have a sister?”
So two best friends married sisters. Which became kind of awkward when my best friend and sister-in-law had a sort of nasty divorce.
A couple of months? Chatted after rides. He fixed some stuff on my bike. Eventually we went out without it being bike adjacent.
Funniest person I’d ever met.
Set up (she knew, I didn’t) on a group outing by a guy who I trained (in that sport that shall not be named) with who shared an office with a woman who was dating (and eventually married) my future wife’s brother. I knew on the second date (despite her eating sushi with her fingers), pretty sure on the first date. She was not yet convinced. Married 1.5 years later, almost 30 years ago.
I met my wife while volunteering at an orphanage in the Philippines. We didn’t have an actual date for a long time, we just got to know each other there and would go to a coffee shop after work, usually with others, which were not really dates.
I wasn’t looking for anyone at the time but it just kind of worked out that way.
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Yikes, I can imagine.
So who still talks to who?
That’s a huge win. I’ve been on both sides of that equation, it’s not everything but it’s the big thing. Laughing with people creates bonds as strong as any other.
A humorless relationship is hollow.
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Well we can’t all have met our wives while rescuing infants and mothers from a burning maternity ward, but yours is fine too I guess.
I think I remember this story from years back. Did she take your bike journeys with you?
Match.com. We often lied about that for a year or so because it seemed lame, but eventually we forgot who we’d lied to and who had gotten the truth.
Seemed reasonably likely on the first date. I’m not a love at first sight kind of person, but the vibe was good.
I’d resorted to internet dating because I wanted a break from the white collar folks that I kept going on dates with - it was like dating myself, and I would hate to date me.
First date with my now-wife, she explained how influential heat and insect activity can be in terms of the rate of decomposition of a corpse, and how smart criminals can dispose of a body at sea without having to weight it down. It was a nice change from hearing people gripe about how staying late to work their M&A deal was keeping them from getting enough sleep before morning yoga.
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TLDR: Friend of a friend.
I lived with a buddy for several months during and immediately after my divorce. She grew up in the same neighborhood as my friend and they became friends again when she moved back to town after living in Seattle for a decade. We all hung out at the same bar every Tuesday night for beer and nachos. She was dating another dude and we became friends. She and that other dude broke up. Our friendship evolved into something more. We’ve now been married for 10 years and together 14. I was a little gunshy to remarry after my divorce so it took me a little time to pop the question.
In the basement of our local hospital where we were both attending an AA meeting. My first thought was she is s pretty but is about to shake to pieces.
We both hung around a little group of like minded people and slowly became friends.
We were both seeing other people and she got pregnant. He hauled ass my relationship died a natural death about the same time.
We had become such good friends she asked me if I would be there when she had her baby.
Our first date was a lamaz class. A year later we were married and I adopted my daughter.
If she doesn’t shoot me before then we will have been married 38 years this June
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We met through mutual friends. We both lived in the Hampton Roads area of VA but I was in the field for a month long training exercise in GA, so we emailed each other a few times before we actually met. That’s been 26 years ago now. We were both coming out of unsatisfying relationships and neither of us had any intention of getting into a new long term relationship.
I think because that was our individual mindsets, is why our marriage has been strong. We had no notions of a perfect mate, and next thing you knew we were inseparable and married 13 months after we met. Our 25 year anniversary is right around the corner.
One of my favorite memories from when we first met, a few days later while on the phone, I was watching a baseball game and a great play happened and suddenly she’s yelling on the other end, she was watching the same game as I was. Baseball has been our favorite sport even before we met, now we go to as many games as possible. Any time we travel I look for minor or independent league games we can attend.
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So they moved down to North Carolina a couple of years after we did. Kind of followed us down there. My wife and her sister, despite only being a year apart, were never that close and still aren’t. They are VERY different people. They got divorced, we eventually moved to Texas, my buddy moved out to Vegas. I still stay in contact with him and whenever I’m in Vegas I make a point of seeing him and all that. Just not as close as we once were but that has nothing to do with the divorce thing. If we were still in the same town we’d hang out all the time.
I’m cool with my sister-in-law. Her and my wife hardly interact. There’s no bad blood there or anything. Like I said, polar opposite personalities. I don’t think my wife respects her sister very much. My wife is a driven person. Her sister isn’t. She hasn’t worked in 25 years (new husband has an okay job), has never owned a new car, just bought her first house at 57 years old, sponged off her parents for years, etc.
That’s straight out of a 2000s rom-com side plot, I love it.
Leading contender for thread winner.
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One of my favorite things about my wife is that she loves football more than I do. The downside is she adopted Pittsburgh as her own and suffers with me through the misery. She blames me for not bringing a better team into her life.