Tell him to take her on a picnic…packed in a bento box.
If you want revenge, send him the Yu letter and tell him to memorize it. All triathletes believe that the all these Ironmen are posers!
Otherwise:
Resting heartrate - fun for the whole family
As above “do you ride clinchers or tubies?”
“Whenever you have unflavored Gu, do you start thinking of semen?” - she’d love this topic!
GI disorders - always romantic
Someone PLEASE Google “Monkey Rocker”
.
better mention the all important dimple. We certainly couldn’t have tri’s without dimples. oh, and may as well bring up rubbing your nipples off, as well as saddle sores.
I believe the guy would want to be the monkey rocker himself. Interesting device, they should make one in carbon fiber and with dimples for the trichick who has everything…
Posers - your boss.
If she has half a brain, she will see through him in 2 seconds and never call him again.
Have him talk about dogs because all triathlete women seem to own one.
discuss taint saving techniques.
Tell him to bring a hidden camera cuz if he tries to throw around a bunch of jargon he doesn’t understand to a type A tri chick it’s gonna blow up in his face hilariously. Then you can post the vid!
“So, you’ve got some real hammerheads that can fly, huh”
Love the idea of someone who doesn’t know what the h3ll they’re talking about letting that drop all cool and sh!t!
Have him tell her, her seats too high
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I asked a guy if that was true once-if he even shaved his butt and he fell out of his chair laughing so hard he couldn’t answer me. So… do you guys really shave everything?
This would be a good way to find out how interested he really is in her. If he’s not running the other direction after a couple of hours talking about which seat fits better, clinchers or tubulars, running shoes, wetsuits, one piece or two piece racing outfits, PRs, the best course to race on, using HR training, paces for different length races, what to drink, what to eat- he may be converted.
OK
"And when you’re done, you’re done. That’s it. Your Monkey Rocker™ doesn’t have any expectations.
Your Monkey Rocker™ will never berate you for taking too long, coming too soon, leaving suddenly,
staying out all night, talking too much, drinking too much or seeing other machines. And no matter
how big or small it is, your Monkey Rocker™ loves your ass. Back it on up. Bring it on. You never have
to wonder what it REALLY thinks of you; your Monkey Rocker™ LOVES you! And is always ready to prove it"
Tell him to tell her to HTFU…
I think that knowing the right questions to ask might impress her more than trying to show off his knowledge.
He should know when she does her long run and long ride so he can plan accordingly. (If her long ride is at 5:30am on Saturday, he might suggest they go to the early movie on Friday rather than to an all-night dance club.) He might inquire about when she’s doing her brick workouts so he knows when she might need to take it easy the next day.
He should be aware of the Clydesdale/Athena controversy, but he should feign ignorance until he knows what she thinks about the issue. If he sees either of those terms, asking “What’s a Clydesdale?” will probably cause her to give her opinion.
If he’s planning to go to any of her races, he might want to know the definitions of: T1, T2, Chip Time, Clock Time, Wave and Splits.
Is that too extreme considering that the boss is ‘sort-of’ seeing her? (What in heck is “sort-of” seeing someone?)
Maybe he needs a new prescription for his glasses. HAHAHAHAHA…I kill me!
Bernie
Geez. That’s like trying to impress some one from China by showing them you can eat with chopsticks. Every 3-year-old in China can do that.
Rather than trying to impress with (sketchy) knowledge, he (or she) should be him (or her) self and ASK about these things in order to learn FROM THEIR DATE.
Ya’ll need to get out more…
If he wants to act like he knows something about triathlon he should try to be real low key (you know, triatletes are into it for various reason but never to show off). Just tell him to be real discrete; for example, he could just show to the date wearing an Mdot tattoo on his forhead.
I asked a guy if that was true once-if he even shaved his butt and he fell out of his chair laughing so hard he couldn’t answer me. So… do you guys really shave everything?
OMG, NOTHING is worse than having a shaved ass… NOTHING! Tried it once, NEVER again!
Sure, clean up is a cinch and you never have to worry about those pesky daggets/cling-ons… but 24/7 it feels like your cheeks are lubed up with that really greasy diarrhea you get after eating too many pork rinds – you know the kind, at first it feels like you need to let out a small tuft of air but you end up receiving the deluxe lube job which consists of a half clear/half green slimy substance up one side of your crack and down the other. It doesn’t really smell so you decide to finish sitting through the management meeting which always lasts too long because the sales manager doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up. Well, when you finally get up and walk briskly down the hall to degrease the trap and your freshly greased buns slide opposite one another in a completely frictionless manner – THAT is the exact sensation you have after shaving your ass. And it takes a good 3 weeks before balance is somewhat restored to the delicate fecosystem.
On no, never again!
Yeah, through generations of trial and error the pigmies have learned that you ALWAYS leave a little bit of forest when you slash and burn. Same concept goes with the razor – clear an adequate amount of acreage but always leave enough so that the birds/turds have a place to nest.
Tell me you write comedy for a living, please… My (facial) cheeks hurt…