So out of all of the stuff I got in the mail today, the letter addressed to me from the Scooter store sort of stood out. It said all sorts of nice stuff about how I might be able to get a scooter that was completely paid for by Medicare, and all sorts of other stuff. It also had this “FREE Personal Mobility Assessment,” which it said that I could complete on my own or with my family member or caregiver. My wife is at work, so I’m turning to you guys to help me out with this. Here are the questions, along with my possible answers:
**Do you sometimes feel left out by not being able to get together with family and friends? **Sometimes, especially during heavy training weeks.Do you have health-related issues that limit your mobility? I had a chest cold for my last 5K, and I missed my time goal.Are you having trouble getting to your kitchen or dining facility by yourself for a meal? Yes, especially when I don’t allow enough time after my run to take a shower and eat lunch before I go to work.Is it difficult for you to get to the bathroom on your own? Yes, especially on longer runs. I had to call my wife to pick me up once,Are you unable to easily access your clothes and dress yourself each day? Yes, I am frequently overwhelmed by laundry issues. Sometimes it takes forever to find a matching pair of technical socks.Have you lost the ability to operate a manual wheelchair inside your home? I don’t really know, as I’ve never tried it in my home. I’m pretty good at pushing wheelchairs at work, though, and a total badass at driving stretchers.Are you feeling like a bother to others due to limited mobility? Yes, sometimes, depending on which group I’m riding with.Have you fallen in the past 12 months? Yes, twice, running in icy conditions.Sorry to be a bother to you all, but can you help me with completing this questionare?
**Do you sometimes feel left out by not being able to get together with family and friends? **No, I prioritize my life to roll out w/ my tri and cycling buddies. Do you have health-related issues that limit your mobility? Psychogenic issues- I destroy ice cream and Nutella, then ride slow. Are you having trouble getting to your kitchen or dining facility by yourself for a meal? What is this “kitchen” you speak of, white man? Is it difficult for you to get to the bathroom on your own? Not in the least- I wear cheap socks, so it’s like there’s a mobile shitter always at my side. Are you unable to easily access your clothes and dress yourself each day? My wife says no. I say dressing like a 12 year old keeps me young. Have you lost the ability to operate a manual wheelchair inside your home? I hate the stepwise approach- let’s just jump right to the motorized chair, complete with helmet and spit tray. Are you feeling like a bother to others due to limited mobility? No- it’s my family’s fault they married or were born to me, and mush sherpa my crap out of transition while I suck down chicken broth. Have you fallen in the past 12 months? I’m telling you, the cleat tension was set too high at the factory. It’s never happened before.
Have you fallen in the past 12 months? I’m telling you, the cleat tension was set too high at the factory. It’s never happened before.
Umm, now that you mention it, I guess it’s actually three times in the past 12 months for me. Had a little issue during my semiannual flying mount/dismount practice session.
Wonder if it would be worth it to keep my shoes attached to the scooter?
**Do you sometimes feel left out by not being able to get together with family and friends? **No, I don’t like anybody. Do you have health-related issues that limit your mobility? Psychological or physical? Are you having trouble getting to your kitchen or dining facility by yourself for a meal? That is what delivery is for. Is it difficult for you to get to the bathroom on your own? No, I just choose not go to one. Are you unable to easily access your clothes and dress yourself each day? I never change out of my pajamas. Have you lost the ability to operate a manual wheelchair inside your home? If by ability you mean motivation, yes. Are you feeling like a bother to others due to limited mobility? No, its my husband’s job. I’ve put up with his crap forever, he owes me. Have you fallen in the past 12 months? While in motion or standing still?
Just the typical tip my bike over at the stop light story. I also noticed there were several other standing still stories on the most embaressing threads.
Didn’t realize that a bike was involved - I can of course relate to that. I was picturing you standing there, minding your own business, then suddenly falling over for no real reason. That’d be a good reason for a scooter.
This may haunt me- I’ve never laid a road bike down. I’ve heard you’re due a crash ever 5-10k miles, so I have at least 3 that need to happen to average me out.
I have crashed a lot of mountain bikes- and am picking up a Santa Cruz heckler frame for a song. A few 10-foot drops should have me in plaster in no time.
I have bit it running several times in the last 2 years- even breaking an ankle.
**Do you sometimes feel left out by not being able to get together with family and friends? **I’m an introvert. Lonely long runs, rides and swim sessions suit me just fine. Do you have health-related issues that limit your mobility? I need to cut down some post holiday/football season belly fat to allow a more aggressive riding position. Are you having trouble getting to your kitchen or dining facility by yourself for a meal? Yes, everyone is always following me. I feel like Tiger in a major. This has happened ever since I joined the Verizon network. I think the guy in the glasses is trying to be reassuring, but it’s really just creepy. Is it difficult for you to get to the bathroom on your own? Other than a few incidents in college, I’m proud to say I haven’t needed help since about age 3. Are you unable to easily access your clothes and dress yourself each day? When I’m in a heavy training period and overreaching I sometimes get a little out of breath after squatting to grab a t-shirt out of my bottom drawer. Also, I have this one dri-fit shirt that fits a little too tight and when I sweat it is almost impossible to peel off my body. I end up wrestling with it, often going above lactate threshold, to get it off. I log these efforts in my training log. Have you lost the ability to operate a manual wheelchair inside your home? No. But sometimes the computrainer gives me a problem. Are you feeling like a bother to others due to limited mobility? Yes, mostly in the swim. I’m one of those annoying posers who migrate to the front of the swim start and then proceed to swim a 35min/mile pace. Have you fallen in the past 12 months? Twice on an ungroomed black run in Snowmass this past January.
I don’t ever wear high heels for that very reason. They are asking for trouble and I’m a clutz.
Of course, you could actually wear high heels if you rode around on a scooter.