Happy Columbus Day!

Apparently there are quite a few people wondering how Columbus Day is “still a thing,” since there were already people living in North America when Columbus “discovered” it. (I’m looking at you, Seattle, Portland, and my FB feed.)

Columbus Day is still a thing because our society is not a direct development of Native American cultures, but rather is an outgrowth of European civilization. Which is something that I would have considered both obvious and general knowledge not long ago.

you know that’s from a John Oliver . . . a comedian . . . http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/13/john-oliver-columbus-day_n_5977860.html

I like John Oliver about 66 2/3% of the time. I appreciate the fact that he often at least attempts to speak truth to power.

There are those times when he’s about as deep and as thoughtful as your average high school sophomore.

Read this:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/columbus_day
.

Wow. The foundations of my belief system have been shaken.

Oh, not really. I love how people like to point out that everyone knew the earth wasn’t flat, or that Leif Ericson landed in North America first, and so on, as if any of that is new information.

The fact of the matter is that it was Columbus’ discovery- or “discovery,” whatever- that led to the colonization of the New World, and thus to our nation’s existence. Deal with it.

I’m sorry an internet cartoon, even if it is the Oatmeal, hasn’t shattered my worldview.

I heard some guest on a radio show this morning say he cringes whenever his kids tell him they learned about Christopher Columbus in school. He referred to him as engaging in genocide of the native people.

Genocide really? This guy was a professor to. Yes, a lot of people were enslaved, subjugated and ultimately killed. But there wasn’t a systematic cleansing of an ethnic group. When I hear liberals like this guy throw that word around, it cheapens the term and victims of real genocide like the Jews, Armenians, & Rwandans.

Bosnians and Serbs don’t count since they basically engaged in genocide on each other.whenever one had the upper hand on eachother.

I heard some guest on a radio show this morning say he cringes whenever his kids tell him they learned about Christopher Columbus in school. He referred to him as engaging in genocide of the native people.

Genocide really? This guy was a professor to. Yes, a lot of people were enslaved, subjugated and ultimately killed. But there wasn’t a systematic cleansing of an ethnic group. When I hear liberals like this guy throw that word around, it cheapens the term and victims of real genocide like the Jews, Armenians, & Rwandans.

Bosnians and Serbs don’t count since they basically engaged in genocide on each other.whenever one had the upper hand on eachother.

Don’t forget him:
http://a4.files.biography.com/image/upload/c_fill,dpr_1.0,g_face,h_300,q_80,w_300/MTIwNjA4NjMzOTQzOTgzNjI4.jpg
Between 2-3 million Cambodians (25% of the population) died during his 4 year reign of terror.

Columbus day wasn’t created to celebrate the U.S., etc. It was created to appease Italian-Americans, somewhat ironically. By all rights we should be moving on to tenuously connected historical figures of more recent shit upon ethnic groups in order to boost their self-esteem.

Read this:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/columbus_day

You can’t really expect me to take anything that has Zinn as a primary source can you?

Where did I ask you to take anything seriously? One does not simply post a link to the Oatmeal and ask for it to be taken seriously (insert LotR meme here). It does encourage independent thought though. Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to do that either. This is the LR after all.

I’ve never been to oatmeal before. . . .I am still in the process of exploring it. . . .

I heard some guest on a radio show this morning say he cringes whenever his kids tell him they learned about Christopher Columbus in school. He referred to him as engaging in genocide of the native people.

Genocide really? This guy was a professor to. Yes, a lot of people were enslaved, subjugated and ultimately killed. But there wasn’t a systematic cleansing of an ethnic group. When I hear liberals like this guy throw that word around, it cheapens the term and victims of real genocide like the Jews, Armenians, & Rwandans.

Bosnians and Serbs don’t count since they basically engaged in genocide on each other.whenever one had the upper hand on eachother.

I love how “they” (Liberals) openly practice bigotry. Don’t they know that Columbus was secretly a Jew?

Banks, government and public employees would celebrate Pol Pot day as long as it means they get another day off.

I don’t understand why this country honors a peice of shit like Christopher Columbus with a holiday.

Happy Columbus Day! I hope you’re celebrating the holiday appropriately, bybreaking into someone’s home and claiming that you discovered and now own it! Or you could just, you know, mourn the genocide of indigenous people by shopping. Because we all grieve in different ways.
You’ve probably heard lots of great things about Christopher Columbus and tons of inspiring quotes from him about hard work, god, the sea etc. But those don’t really capture what Columbus and the colonial expansion of which he was part were all about. So, without further ado, allow me to present these quotes that you may not have heard, from or about Christopher Columbus.
**1. Conquest: the perfect chaser for expelling Muslims and Jews. **You don’t have to be an academic to link Spain’s colonial expansion abroad with its inquisition at home. Columbus made the connection himself. Of course he saw this as a good thing, not a bad one– a killer combo, if you will. He wrote to King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain

YOUR HIGHNESSES, **as Catholic Christians and Princes who love the holy Christian faith, and the propagation of it, and who are enemies to the sect of Mahoma and to all idolatries and heresies,**resolved to send me, Cristóbal Colon, to the said parts of India to see the said princes … with a view that they might be converted to our holy faith …. Thus, after having turned out all the Jews from all your kingdoms and lordships … your Highnesses gave orders to me that with a sufficient fleet I should go to the said parts of India …. I shall forget sleep, and shall work at the business of navigation, so that the service is performed.

**2. These Natives are so nice, we’d be crazy not to enslave them! **This excerpt from Columbus’ diary describes the Arawak people who greeted him and his men:
They … brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawks’ bells. They willingly traded everything they owned… . They were well-built, with good bodies and handsome features…. They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance. They have no iron. Their spears are made of cane… . They would make fine servants…. With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want.

3. I was right about how easy that whole subjugation thing would be! In another letter to King Ferdinand, Columbus wrote
As soon as I arrived in the Indies, in the first island which I found, I took some of the natives by force, in order that they might learn and might give me information of whatever there is in these parts. And so it was that they soon understood us, and we them, either by speech or by signs, and they have been very serviceable.

**4. Rape! **Columbus was such a mensch, he would let his men do whatever they wanted with the natives they captured. One of his men and a childhood friend of Columbus, Michele da Cuneo, describes in a letter how he raped a native woman:
While I was in the boat, I captured a very beautiful Carib woman, whom the said Lord Admiral gave to me. When I had taken her to my cabin she was naked—as was their custom. I was filled with a desire to take my pleasure with her and attempted to satisfy my desire. She was unwilling, and so treated me with her nails that I wished I had never begun. But—to cut a long story short—I then took a piece of rope and whipped her soundly, and she let forth such incredible screams that you would not have believed your ears. Eventually we came to such terms, I assure you, that you would have thought that she had been brought up in a school for whores.

**5. Not so Christian. **But the anecdote captured above was not some isolated incident of cruelty. Ironically, but in no way surprisingly, the Spanish who came to save the “heathens” from their idolatry, weren’t very Christ-like in their behavior. In his book *The Devastation *of the Indies. Bartolome de las Casas, the priest who accompanied Columbus on his conquest of Cuba, detailed the abuse and murder of the native population:
Endless testimonies . … prove the mild and pacific temperament of the natives…. But our work was to exasperate, ravage, kill, mangle and destroy…
And the Christians, with their horses and swords and pikes began to carry out massacres and strange cruelties against them. They attacked the towns and spared neither the children nor the aged nor pregnant women nor women in childbed, not only stabbing them and dismembering them but cutting them to pieces as if dealing with sheep in the slaughter house. They laid bets as to who, with one stroke of the sword, could split a man in two or could cut off his head or spill out his entrails with a single stroke of the pike. They took infants from their mothers’ breasts, snatching them by the legs and pitching them head first against the crags or snatched them by the arms and threw them into the rivers, roaring with laughter and saying as the babies fell into the water, “Boil there, you offspring of the devil!” Other infants they put to the sword along with their mothers and anyone else who happened to be nearby. They made some low wide gallows on which the hanged victim’s feet almost touched the ground, stringing up their victims in lots of thirteen, in memory of Our Redeemer and His twelve Apostles, then set burning wood at their feet and thus burned them alive. To others they attached straw or wrapped their whole bodies in straw and set them afire. With still others, all those they wanted to capture alive, they cut off their hands and hung them round the victim’s neck, saying, “Go now, carry the message,” meaning, Take the news to the Indians who have fled to the mountains. They usually dealt with the chieftains and nobles in the following way: they made a grid of rods which they placed on forked sticks, then lashed the victims to the grid and lighted a smoldering fire underneath, so that little by little, as those captives screamed in despair and torment, their souls would leave them….

So, happy Columbus Day! Or, actually, let’s follow the cities and states who have stopped celebrating Columbus Day and celebrate, instead, “Indigenous People’s Day.”

You can’t spell LOL!

You can’t spell LOL!
But he is good at the copy and paste, so he’s got that going for him.

Read this:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/columbus_day

Yep

Also, Columbus wasn’t even Italian

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/spain/6326698/Christopher-Columbus-writings-prove-he-was-Spanish-claims-study.html
.

Welcome back Yahey!!!

http://media.giphy.com/media/12g2zLSblrgndK/giphy.gif

Columbus Day is still a thing because our society is not a direct development of Native American cultures, but rather is an outgrowth of European civilization. Which is something that I would have considered both obvious and general knowledge not long ago.

It is both obvious and general knowledge, for that most part, but given that we already have federal holidays that pay homage directly to that particular history (President’s Day, Independence Day, and to an extent, Thanksgiving) without paying tribute specifically to an individual (and not what that individual’s accomplishment represents), it’s hard to justify elevating a notorious scoundrel like him in the pantheon of great men like Lincoln, Washington, and Martin Luther King, Jr., for reasons which should be both obvious and general knowledge by now.

Here’s an idea: since it’s been decided that we should celebrate the man and his legacy with a federal holiday, why not use federal funds to produce an unvarnished historical documentary (Ken Burns would be my choice for director and producer) to examine the man and his legacy in depth, and run it on major networks every Columbus Day. Families could gather round the television and learn all there is to know about the man we’ve celebrated for the better part of the last century.

I’d be all for it. I’d even donate to the project.

Columbus day wasn’t created to celebrate the U.S., etc. It was created to appease Italian-Americans, somewhat ironically. By all rights we should be moving on to tenuously connected historical figures of more recent shit upon ethnic groups in order to boost their self-esteem.

So let’s ditch Columbus Day and establish a Flying Spaghetti Moster Day. It involves spaghetti, so that ought to be good enough for the Italians.