The girl I’m dating, the BFA, is incensed that I haven’t been spending more time with her. This entire weekend she has been trying to get me to go out, blah, blah, etc. etc. Basically, I explained to her a week ago that we were having a sale and I had to work.
Then I got sick.
So now she is like, “Let me take care of you…”
Well, I don’t know about you guys, but when I am sick I just want to be left alone to try to get well. to make matters worse, I am cranky because I was going good until I got sick, and now I am worried about losing a hefty amount of fitness. So once I get better, I have to be pretty much nose to the grindstone training.
That will leave even less time for tom-foolery with a girl. There simply isn’t enough time to go around.
Typical deal: There is no way to resolve it. I’m surprised it has lasted as long as it has.
As far as the sick downtime and losing fitness…I just had a horrible chest cold for 13 days. Cut back on my training and entered a time trial this weekend thinking I would bomb but my well rested legs were stronger than ever and I had my fastest MPH average ever (18 miles at 26.8 MPH…just to float my own boat a bit even though I know many of you animals are much faster)
Moral of the story is it takes more than one sickness to lose significant fitness.
After having that problem before I married someone who encourages me in my training/racing and my job (college coach) while getting me to go back to school! She doesn’t even complain when she cuts the lawn while I am out on my bike!
History proves: I am not cut out for the relationship thing.
Is it history that proves this, or Tom that proves this? Quit picking out high maintenence women who build thier lives around you. Find someone with her own interests who won’t try and live through you.
I haven’t met anybody who wasn’t high maintenance about something. Have you? Seriously. Unless they are smoking weed all the time, or hooked on cough syrup, somebody has got something they are high maintenance about; and most of the time, its like 12 things.
Show me the most laid back person, and I’ll guarantee you he or she has got some ridiculous fetish behind those laid back eyes. For us, it might be triathlons or training for them, for somebody else, its expensive train tracks or Martin guitars.
I haven’t met anybody who wasn’t high maintenance about something. Have you? Seriously. Unless they are smoking weed all the time, or hooked on cough syrup, somebody has got something they are high maintenance about; and most of the time, its like 12 things.
Show me the most laid back person, and I’ll guarantee you he or she has got some ridiculous fetish behind those laid back eyes. For us, it might be triathlons or training for them, for somebody else, its expensive train tracks or Martin guitars.
I have had the pleasure of dating many who were not high maintenance. Of course, I’m a girl and I think men are more likely to be LM.
I think the key is to each have your own gigs. Then you’re not up each other’s ass all the time. I don’t want someone who likes exactly what I like. I want him to be into something of his own so I can reciprocate the emotional support he shows me. Plus, he should be hung like a horse…that’s also another way to spell relationship success.
I know exactly what you mean Tom. Just this morning I had a disagreement with my Girlfriend. She wanted to run hills, I wanted to run flat. It was terrible. I thought since she did time trials two days in a row she would rather do flats. Can’t figure women out at all…
Oh wait a minute… I guess that’s not the same at all…
History proves: I am not cut out for the relationship thing.
won’t believe it for second, babe. you and i both know this is not true. it’s about letting go of the past, and healing.
hard to do, requires alot of work (ALOT) of talking, being vulnerable, letting the guard down, trusting, learning to love, etc but is necessary for a happy life–all parts of it…
look Tom, don’t make me come up there and nag you about stuff. big picture here, babe. loving again, and letting the guard down is about healing. its about loving again…
i think your line of questioning, although it makes perfect sense, misses the mark. Tom mentioned in an earlier post something about the BFA being out of town a lot with her job, thereby possibly helping in the high maintenance category. So maybe the ‘tell’ wasn’t so obvious.
But most importantly, I take issue with your ‘these kind of women’ remark. Why? Because EVERY woman is ‘that kind of woman’. I think if a realtionship (for whatever reason - for me it is having kids) is important to you, you have to conciously choose to make it the most important thing in your life. It sounds to me (not that I know anything about this woman, or Tom for that matter) that neither party has done anything ‘wrong’, and that neither party was expecting much more than a fun and friendly companion for casual dating. From my side of the computer it has been a win-win relationship. My only regret is Tom didn’t post a better picture of the BFA than the half frame, outa focus, late night Bikesport shananagin shot we were teased with a few weeks ago. I feel like Norm from “Cheers” waiting to live vicariously throgh Sam’s exploits.
