It all started a few months ago while I was enjoying a beautiful 80-mile training ride up the Califronia coast. I was riding along, minding my own business when all of a sudden an unexpected and unwelcomed visitor rapidly approached me seeking to ruin my ride and kill my wonderful mood. It wasn’t a car full of kids blowing their horn as they passed me at 40 mph. It wasn’t some doofus who saw my tri-club jersey and felt inclined to speed up and try to race me as I clopped along during my base riding. It wasn’t the grandma in the pickup truck that couldn’t pass me for a ¼ mile and flipped me the bird once she got by only to drive 3mph faster than I was pedaling. It was PRIVATE NUMBJAMIN.
This inconsiderate, mean spirited, and vile (yes vile) man sought to make the remaining 30 miles of my ride as painful as possible, and test my psyche with something that I am unaccustomed to dealing with. When I sped passed him he didn’t hit my lower back (too easy), he didn’t punch my neck to inflict that vice-gripping neck pain that one may feel on occasion when riding in the aero-position after a brief hiatus from the bike. Instead he struck a low and mighty blow to me, NUMBING MY PRIVATES and rendering my nether-region (gulp) lifeless. It felt as if some heartless vampiress had chosen to suck the blood out of me and it wasn’t a sexy dream. No matter what I did for the remainder of the ride, standing, dismounting, gently shaking my boys (get your mind out of the gutter), neither my boys nor their very tall cousin would completely awaken. Private Numbjamin mercilessly held on to me for the remainder of my ride no matter how fast I rode. Once done with my ride, I loaded my bike into my truck and sped away. He began to give chase but I floored it. I took a quick look in my rearview mirrorand saw that I was finally losing him.
Before my next ride I chose to take added measures to ensure that I never saw him again. I lowered my seatpost a bit, tilted the nose of my seat down, practiced the pelvic roll, blah, blah, blah… Thinking he was some evil troll that patrols that scenic route, I chose to keep the plans of my next route classified. Only a few select riders had clearance. Private Numbjamin’s low ranking precluded him from access to these highly classified route sheets, so I thought. 20 miles into the ride and sure enough he was there laying in wait. I hit him and bunny-hopped him, but as he fell but he managed to grab my back wheel and latch on. Rat-bastard!!! He’s a relentless SOB. It went downhill from there, pun intended. Although I have had moments of numb-free bliss, I have been plagued with this numbing sensation on rides of short and long variety and I am pretty vexed. Never b4 have I had this problem.
I am making light of this numbness in my boys but I really gotta fix this because I am not ready to be fixed (no non-surgical vasectomies for me)! I love riding my bike but I want to have kids later on damnit!!! I’m sure that I am not the only one that has seen this idiot while riding. Please, save me from Private Numbjamin…
The boys are numb, or just the tall cousin? I have experienced the tall cousin numbness but it goes away after getting out of the saddle. I have found that Private Numbjamin doesn’t like to get out of the saddle, so he just drops off once you do that. Not to get too graphic, but the tall cousin also gets really pale when the Private comes around.
Initially it was the boys, then their cousin. You’re right, when I was out of the saddle he didn’t particularly like that and dropped off a bit. But once back on the saddle he found his way back. I didn’t look for color. If I go pale, there is a REAL problem. I’m wondering if it’s the bibs I’ve been using as they are not as supportive as my shorts.
Bike Fit? (how is it, have you made any recent changes other than the ones you made after the first incident)
I guess it’s ok. I made some changes with my reach to alleviate a little IT issue in the right hip and haven’t had a problem with it since, seat forward and shortened my stem. I’ve been tinkering for a while but other than the current issue it’s comfortable. Not sure if it’s the best that it can be for long rides.
Sudden increase in mileage/time?
Still taking it easy until I get fit. B4 typically a spin class or 2 + one (3-3.5hr) 50-60 with and occasional 75. Did the 75’s without issue. Lately no spin and added a couple of shorties a week (20-30) + a longer ride of (4-5hrs) 75-85.
Saddle? Fizik Ar Tri. I wonder if a seat with a channel will help like a Koobi or are they gimmickry.
Shorts? Demarchi bibs to save butt problems, voler, sugoi. Don’t remember any discomfort b4 the bibs, hard to say.
Lube? *Why couldn’t I see the obvious, 10w-30 is too light for this time of year. I’m such a buffoon. * JK, ASSOS.
saddles with grooves are not gimmicks, if you need one. if you don’t need one good for you, time was i didn’t either. things do change so count yer blessings.
i will not ride without one.
koobi’s are great, and the koobi guys are ultra-cool biker types - good place to send a few bucks.
I’ve wondered about how seat padding really correllates to comfort. I’m not one of those “If the pros use them…” but I haven’t seen pro riders with channel seats. Most of the seats look god-awfully hard with minimal padding but they can’t all truly be that way considering the amount of mileage pro riders put on them. The Arione Tri was working for me initially but I’m not sure if the extra nose padding is of benefit or a hinderance of blood flow in the TT position. Thank you for your suggestion, I’ll check the koobi’s out. Which one is working for you?
my favorite koobi is the xenon. it is only medium firm. the prs enduro did me great on several 12 hour races and a 24 solo race last year - but that is a larger and softer saddle than most would want.
the prs road saddle is pretty nice, quite firm, but it didn’t have a big enuf relief channel for me.
terry makes a cutaway saddle ( selle italia actually makes it ) that is very firm, and selle italia itself makes cutaway models in every saddle they make.
so, it is not about padding, but the cutaway, bro. to borrow a phrase from the film “zoolander” - " i got a prostate like a honeydew". i reckon that is more than you needed to hear but that is how things go sometimes. bottom line here ( heh heh ) is that a nicely designed cutaway IS more in keeping with yer anatomy down there. like a lot of things in life you can get away without it when you are young and/or lucky. could be that those days are done for you - if the big guy is numb i’d reckon maybe that is the case - if so you are in luck becuz there are tons of great cutaway saddles to try and for a guy who needs them they work great.
“i got a prostate like a honeydew”. I’m really sorry about that.
“could be that those days are done for you”
Shoot, I’m just getting started! I have a long way to go. I didn’t want to spend anymore funds on tri this year other than races but when it comes to my boys I don’t play around (aw not again). I think you understand. I was considering the PRS. Room is good but maybe too much will reduce support no? I think I need just enough room to take the pressure off. Don’t quite know much room that is though.
what about just rotating your saddle to one side by a few degrees? i turn the seat a little to the right, and then i “ride” a little to the left … it also means that i’m putting less of a load on the tender bits and more on muscle/tendon/whatever …it solved my issues … though my roadie friends think it’s weird.
also, i tilt my pelvis forward and tend to ride on the nose of the saddle, fwiw