The news makes me go apoplectic pretty much every night. Here’s stuff that is just asinine, and what I want to do about it:
“Octomom”: Your uterus is not transient lodging. On CNN, the announcer says “The mom of the octuplets has a new web site, and she’s asking for your money”. My wife really flipped out here. I’d like to take a dump in a shoebox and send it to her. Seriously, if there’s a physical address on her website, we (the whole friggin’ country) should send her worthless shit: whatever junk you can get out the door for a 42 (44?) cent stamp. The nerve!
Taxes. This is ridiculous- why are these politicians not being hung up by their nuts for not paying? Is there any way to pay your taxes in cash? If so, I’m going to take an assload of exemptions to make sure I owe a couple grand, then pay it all in pennies. And lose count a lot.
Banks: fuck you. Every person should get a credit card from the worst 2 or 3 banks, max them out, and refuse to pay. Would this be enough to send one under? It worked with mortgages, so why not cards? It might even be worse- lots of folks make the effort on the mortgage, b/c the loan is secured by the house. Cards are unsecured, so the banks get nothing. Disaster for the economy? Piss on it, Rome’s already alight, and Daddy needs a new fiddle- put that Stratavarius on plastic!
Isn’t Medi-Cal (and by extension, the taxpayers) on the hook for this delivery? And the welfare system in California for pretty much everything else related to this woman and her children? No wonder the folks in Cali are going to be getting IOUs in place of actual tax return money. Everything about this case fatigues me: The doctor who did the fertility procedures, the mom…the blase attitude from the woman’s family…you name it.
2. Taxes. This is ridiculous- why are these politicians not being hung up by their nuts for not paying?
This is one of those “do as I say, not as I do” situations, and even the President admitted he screwed it up. I think his handlers underestimated the public’s level of concern about something like this. A huge blunder, given how just about any of us go into paroxysms of rage at the thought of some old Washington hand taking a flyer on his obligation to pay up. Now…I must get back to my Turbo Tax session: It’s telling me I owe waaaaaaaay more tax than I really feel I should have to pay. I’m going to have to do “something” about that. Anybody have a kid they can loan me that I can declare as a dependent?
3. Banks
Are a necessary evil. An arrogant, overweening, hubris-ridden evil, but necessary even at that. After all, who are you going to get to pay you .47% on your savings, huh?
Are a necessary evil. An arrogant, overweening, hubris-ridden evil, but necessary even at that. After all, who are you going to get to pay you .47% on your savings, huh?
I really don’t understand why anyone would put money in a bank when credit unions widely exist and are easy to join. It makes no sense whatsoever to contribute money to bank shareholders when I can share in the returns of a CU and there is no one to pay off.
I agree with you, of course. That’s why lunchbox and I are gonna start up that Alpaca farm thing just as soon as we can get his CU to front us the dough for a herd of those things.
Are a necessary evil. An arrogant, overweening, hubris-ridden evil, but necessary even at that. After all, who are you going to get to pay you .47% on your savings, huh?
Kind of like Crystal Meth. Not necessary, by any means. Maybe necessarily convenient, though. Or convenient, especially after a long day spent watching Fox News Channel and railing at Bob Beckel
Tough to give them up, i mean, I’m expected to drive a geo metro after graduating instead of a nice shiny BMW?
OH NO!
Kind of like Crystal Meth. Not necessary, by any means. Maybe necessarily convenient, though. Or convenient, especially after a long day spent watching Fox News Channel and railing at Bob Beckel
I agree with you, of course. That’s why lunchbox and I are gonna start up that Alpaca farm thing just as soon as we can get his CU to front us the dough for a herd of those things.
BK
My CU? I thought you were going to raise the money by being the 1st male to have octuplets, thus trumping “octomom” by becoming… “OctoTranny!”
And before we go any further, I get to shave the alpacas. I want that in the contract.
**My CU? I thought you were going to raise the money by being the 1st male to have octuplets, thus trumping “octomom” by becoming… “OctoTranny!” **
Dude! Gold mine!! I’d completely forgotten the whole “pump-me-full-of-androgen-and-estrogen-till-my-giblets-fall-off-and-I-give-birth” bit. I can see myself now; sitting there all dewy-eyed in front of Katie Couric, the public just sending us scads of money for, you know…the care and feeding of the eight little trolls that’d be sure to pop out, given my former Rosemary’s Baby-type Satan-worshipping past (otherwise known as being a loyal Dubya supporter).
And you can shave all the Alpacas you want, man. Even I, in my most deranged moments, don’t want anything to do with shaving a large animal capable of stomping me to death in about 3 microseconds.
And you can shave all the Alpacas you want, man. Even I, in my most deranged moments, don’t want anything to do with shaving a large animal capable of stomping me to death in about 3 microseconds.
BK, I thought you were more worldly than this. I’m going to have Michael Phelps come over and give the alpacas “breathing treatments”- it should calm them down. There’s got to be some pork (South American camel-thing?) in a spending bill for alpaca farmers someplace to pay for this.
Fuc* that! I would rather the earth heat to 300 kelvin before I would give up a nice car for a Metro (or Insight, Calibur, or Hybrid ANYTHING).
27 C? 81 F? Sooner than you think.
BK, I thought you were more worldly than this. I’m going to have Michael Phelps come over and give the alpacas “breathing treatments”- it should calm them down. There’s got to be some pork (South American camel-thing?) in a spending bill for alpaca farmers someplace to pay for this.
I’m sure we could get some sort of government grant for this. After all, the Internet’s full of companies offering to sell people a “grant kit” sure to get us a check from Barack Obama in about two-point-one hours. At least, that’s what the ads say.
Now I must away: Tomorrow is another day: And I will not go astray:
the news makes me nearly turn into a homicidal maniac. seriously, i fucking want to explode after 30 seconds.
i HATE that stupid bitch who had the litter. and every freaking show is in on it. those babies need to be adopted out, and she needs to be put in prison. any money sent needs to be confiscated so at least a droplette of her bills can be paid.
also the politicians not paying their taxes need to go to the pokey, and they need to be exiled from public office. in fact, most of washington could use a deep cleansing.
And you can shave all the Alpacas you want, man. Even I, in my most deranged moments, don’t want anything to do with shaving a large animal capable of stomping me to death in about 3 microseconds.
Alpacas are WAY to small to stomp anything. What you want is llamas - bigger, tougher - lots more to shave - but you could also set up a secondary business, since they are way better pack animals. You could run a week long packing/adventure excursion for martial artists into the burnt out sections of Detroit. Lllamas could carry gear - maybe you could even armour them. And they are pretty tasty in a pinch.
Alpacas are WAY to small to stomp anything. What you want is llamas - bigger, tougher - lots more to shave - but you could also set up a secondary business, since they are way better pack animals. You could run a week long packing/adventure excursion for martial artists into the burnt out sections of Detroit. Lllamas could carry gear - maybe you could even armour them. And they are pretty tasty in a pinch.
Anything bigger than a chihuahua is a large animal capable of causing and destruction in my view, Jim. I pass by a beagle on the street and I find myself going for my CAR-15, buddy. Them things are dangerous The beagles, not the CAR-15. Especially in the hands of a feller like me (heh-heh).
