After a winter of horrible training due to innexplainable g.i. problems, 9 docters, 2 colonoscopies (I’m 20), a cat scan and MRI, and millions of blood tests they have finally figured out that I (being the generous and loving human being I am) am hosting an entire extended family of ameoba something something somethings in my gi tract. Now arn’t I thoughtfull?
My question is this… my running times have absolutely just hit the wall, I’m running over a minute per mile slower then I ever used to. Has anyone else ever stuggled with internal parasites? and once they were cleared up and the g.i. problems over did your running majorly improve? Its been almost 6 months since I ran well, I’m starting to lose hope here.
Well, since we are getting graphic, my colon looks like a bath house on the Ganges. There is enough third world stuff living in there that I could apply for international aid. For ony pennies a day you can sponsor something living in my G.I. tract. I think entire families have imigrated to the U.S. inside my colon.
My digestive system is an above ground nuclear test site. I’ve been to G.I. specialists (you have IBS, just take Citrucel- oh yeah, what kind of insurance do you have?) and the whole nine yards.
At the end of the day, after all the thrid world contamination the thing that bothered my stomach the most was a shitty girlfriend I had who drove me insane and then blamed everything on me. She dumped me, my stomach got better.
The biggest parasite living in my colon was apparently a self-important phoney blonde with a bad boob job. Since she has been gone, all is well in my sewer system.
… mmm … actually, i’ve got an ex-wife that sort of fits the description as a lifeform that sucks life from otherwise healthy people … although i believe that the name for her was more along the lines of “succubus” (damn bloodsucking she-devil, stonehearted, cold, vicious, venemous, evil … )
assuming things are cleaned up, your running will return to form. if you take 2 complete years off of running like I did don’t hold your breath. In the beginning, for me anyway, frequency is more important than total volume. I come back faster running 8-10 times a week but doing 25-30 min at a time than trying to bang out some 7-9 milers right off the bat.
Note to self: stay out of future boyfriends colons. maybe thats where I went wrong with the last guy…
Um…wow…I think that would certainly be a “deal breaker”…some woman sticks something in my output portal I think that I would have to end the relationshit right there.