Rules to be developed and administered on the fly.
Whether leaving the door open on the refrigerator was the root cause of a fan failure.
I once had a fight with my best friend about whether turquoise was blue or green.
Punches were thrown. Yes, alcohol was involved.
A package of cheese at Costco.
Wife tried to buy a package of cheese at Costco that included three types of sliced cheese and, of course, Costco sized portions of all three types. It was a ridiculous amount of cheese. Especially for a household of two people, neither of which consumes very much cheese. I protested, stating we could find a much more reasonable package of cheese at the regular grocery store we were headed to next. She insisted we buy the cheese. I doubled down and said 90% of it would go to waste. She looks me dead in the eye and drops the package in the cart. So being the toxic white male that I am I looked her dead in the eye, removed the cheese from the cart and put it back on the shelf. I then drove the cart away. She persisted, and we repeated this dance one or two more times before she finally gave up.
She was pretty damned steamed at this point but I was righteous in my victory and feeling good about the $30 I had saved by not wasting an entire block of cheese. We pay for our goods and I am wheeling the large cart laden with heavy goods through the parking lot when disaster strikes. I was headed straight for the car, she mistakenly thought the car was parked to our right and not dead ahead. She took a hard right turn in front of the cart and before I could get the behemoth halted, the wheel of the cart struck her directly in her flip flop clad foot. After re-enacting the lift off and eventual explosion of the Challenger Shuttle she exercised her extensive vocabulary upon me whilst using hand gestures to indicate that I was number 1 in her book and limp stomping away from me.
I thought it best to allow a cooling off period so I proceeded to the car and loaded our cheese-less grocery haul. After a decent interval I called her, no answer. I called again, no answer. The better part of the next hour was spent in similar fruitless pursuit. I eventually gave up and began the journey home, if nothing else to get a head start on hiding the items I wanted to keep in the inevitable divorce.
Hours later she returned and continued with her new found ignorance of my existence. Eventually I was informed that she had limped to a nearby coffee shop and called her mother to pick her up and take her to a place void of my presence. Evidently 8 hours was the required initial cooling off period. I maintain that the jets were still hot to the touch for the next 2-3 days. While I still am not sure if she is aware how wrong she was about the cheese. I do feel she has come to the conclusion that I am not stupid enough to pour salt on my own wounds by running her over with a grocery carrying device on purpose. 8 years later we can laugh about the incident, however she does still give me a width berth whenever I get behind the handlebar of a cart, and neither of us has eaten cheese since.
Rules to be developed and administered on the fly.
We may need separate threads for spouses vs. otherwise.
Rules to be developed and administered on the fly.
We may need separate threads for spouses vs. otherwise.
Overruled
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Hanging pictures/mirrors/whatever on the wall without using a level. It was stupid every one of the hundreds of times it happened, but totally worth it.
For the record, you were wrong. Always buy the cheese.
I literally laughed out loud at the Challenger reenactment part.
I’m not a “sleep in the doghouse” kind of guy, but I totally would have bought the package of cheese while she was gone.
Wife and I were at tennis watching my son practice. Now, admittedly it’s one of my favorite things to do and just love watching him play and the rhythm of the back and forth. My wife wanted to chat a lot. I didn’t. Cos I’m obsessed with watching the practice. Anyway, long story short we got into a big fight but silently as a lot of other parents were there.
After practice we go to a Mexican restaurant with my son and daughter. We’re standing in line and she’s still on at me. I turn and say to her “don’t ever talk to me like that again in front of my tennis friendsâ€. She looks at me dead in the eyes and says “go fuck yourself!†and stormed out. (Kids were already sitting at a table). Now, exactly as that happened the server said “next!†And I had to sheepishly walk and order our lunch.
Amusingly she went to the car and stayed there while the kids and I ate.
She was mad when I didn’t bring her any food out.
Stupid shit escalates so quickly…
Rules to be developed and administered on the fly.
Whether leaving the door open on the refrigerator was the root cause of a fan failure.
Arguing constantly with windywave over Cuba. I know its a great place to visit for a winter holiday since I’ve been going there for 22 yrs. And windy has never been there.
Lot of options as between my wife and me. First one that comes to mind was a difference of opinion over a small vs medium size coffee that eventually cost us the better part of a day in Italy.
Non-spouse family: had an hour plus argument with Dad and brothers about total surface area of potatoes used if you were to blanket the surface of the earth a foot deep in average sized russets.
Professional: opposing counsel representing Focus on the Family insisted that “governing law†for a distribution agreement be principles underlying a specific passage in the Bible.
I’m not going to mine the countless arguments with my 2 year old son. Last week it was whether I was a huge meanie because i wouldn’t let him throw an operating box fan into a full bathtub.
A run in the snow. State College, PA circa 1996. Then GF and future Mrs. Ti wanted to go for a run in the snow. I most definitely did not and politely declined. She did not let up about it. I declined repeatedly and with increasing conviction until I couldn’t take it anymore and finally gave in (just so I didn’t have to hear about it anymore ) and decided that I’d channel my inner rage into a serious workout. You wanna run? Okay, we’re gonna RUN. She was not pleased, and after laying into me loudly at a stop, finished up with a healthy ‘fuck you’. Can’t remember the rest of the run, but I’m pretty sure I ran home alone.
Trying to assemble kids toys late at night on Christmas Eve.
I’ve shared this one before
DISCLAIMER: Not my fight; I was only a witness
I was hanging out in the Spectrum parking lot before a show once and a girl who was there with us said, rather offhandedly, “When I used to be a DeadHead …”
My girlfriend said - under her breath - “You never were”
“Excuse me???!!! BITCH!!!”
“If you can say ‘I used to be a DeadHead’ then you never REALLY were … you Wookie-fucking SLUT”
The cat-fight that ensued was awesome; alternating between terrifying and hilarious
Not 100% sure. Future wife and I were doing a 12 mile hike in the smoky mtns. All we packed was one waterbottle and granola bar each. We were so hungry the last 2 miles we were fighting about something, maybe directions or pace. Either way, we were just so grouchy because of hunger. We went out to eat and downed our meals within 5 minutes.
This one made me laugh…
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In a home improvement store, my wife (while several months pregnant) and I quite heatedly discussed the shade of light yellow we preferred to paint our 1st child’s room (turned out to be the first of our three boys). We laugh about it every time we need to paint a room; our families make fun of the story whenever they consider painting…
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At a large family birthday party for son #1 (maybe his 8th?) my wife and I had a historic argument about size of the birthday cake I bought. It was huge, but apparently too small to my cake hungry family. We started arguing about it, probably because we were both independently embarrassed and taking a rubbing. We needed a time out and I left her, she had to get a ride home with my parents. Before you ask: yeah, in retrospect the cake was too small and I have never made that mistake again. I have even bought two cakes just to be safe…
We have been happily married 16yrs now but it’s funny that our disagreements aren’t about ‘important things’ like family, finances, or careers…go time is about paint and cake…
The wife and I were in stitches reading this one. Thanks.
While pregnant, I “may” have gotten irrationally angry about my husband taking all the change from my car for rolling/taking to the bank.
It was apparently some kind of affront to “my” things and he was disrespecting me? I was SO MAD. And of course he thought my irrational anger was funny and laughed at me. It didn’t help.
It took a good few days to calm down and I still don’t really understand my reaction.
Cat litter. Ex had a bizarre fixation.