Dumbest thing you have done in a race?

Given my stupidity with the pedal last night, it got me to thinking out stupid things I’ve done in races because I either didn’t know what to do or just didn’t think. For example, I kicked my bike once because the front derailleur was rubbing and making an awful noise. (Typical neandrathal response when one doesn’t know how something works)

How about you? What stupid things have you done in your triathlon life?

There were a few times when my biggest mistake was showing up.

Running out of T2 wearing my bike helmet at Half Vineman 1999.

Leaving bottles of my “liquid diet” in condo frig for IM 1999.

Getting sunburned the day before GC 2002 while out on the boogie board.

Leaving googles in transition when I went to the beach at GC 2002. When I went back to get them, somebody had borrowed them, I had to run all the way to the hotel and back to get a spare pair and make my wave. Of course sunburned as I was, I should have just watched the damn race.

My best, eating a dozen raw oysters the night before IMF 2000. I usually am not bothered by any food, and frequently eat fried oyster po’boys before races. And I can’t say the oysters are the reason I could take in no liquid or solid during the race, but I have never risked it again- well, for a big race.

I am in my 14th year of racing, and the stupid mistakes all came in the later years.

Sprint race: I wanted to be as light as possible. I took out my Mr. Tuffies and did not bring any spares–no tubes–no pump–nothing. Flatted 6 miles into a 12 mile bike race.

Then I had to walk back–right–wrong. I was determined to finish. I ran 6 miles in my Look-style cycling shoes. Then I put on my running shoes and finished the race. I did not get last. (though close). I learned that running in your cycling shoes will destroy them.

My calfs also suffered for a week.

Cheers

August 2001 - Pumped my tires up to 145 psi and racked my bike in the direct sunlight in the transition area.

Flatted 5 miles into a half IM. Replaced the tube in record time. Put on the valve extender and used up both CO/2 cartridges before I realized the presta valve was closed inside the valve extender. Now I always have extra valve extenders already on the tubes with teflon tape and with the valves open.

Rolled into Manhatten on the Friday night before the NYC Marathon on Sunday. Not many places to eat so I ended up chowing down on sushi. By mile 23 (Central Park entrance) I had the worst lower-GI problems ever ever ever. 10 minutes in a porta potty they must have burned on the spot later…limped in the last 3 miles doubled over. I pretty much sat on the pot the rest of the day and night.

The night before my first tri I decided to give the bike a good once-over to get it all cleaned/lubed/tuned for the race. I very quickly and expertly removed the chain, cassette, cranks, disassembled the chaingrings from the crankarm, undid the front and rear der cables to clean everything… the problem was that I had never done this before, and things didn’t go back together quite as easily as they came apart. If I was wearing an HRM, I’m sure I would have been in zone 5c for several hours trying to get everything back together. Ended up doing the race with the front der rubbing the whole time.

Mien goes like this

Ohhh. I just got blown over by a gust of wind on this flat road with no one around me… but I should not have any problem crossing over this giant crack in the road… there is no way that my front wheel would ever get stuck in this crack and have me flip over the handle bars…

mental note to self, long wide cracks and front wheels do not mix.

How about this. I was doing a 15K as part of a long training run in Central Park, so I started “my” race 7 miles early and had my timing all figured out so that I would arrive at the official starting line about a minute after the actual race started. Plan worked perfectly. I remember hearing the starting horn go off just as I came around the last turn toward the start. Decided to take a short detour to drop my jacket in the baggage area and then continue on with the race. About 600 yards into the race, I realized I had not crossed the start line (chip reader) and had to turn around and go back to chirp in.

Not my best race time by a long shot.

My first running race was a hilly 30K in Singapore (stupid already). I had new size 11 shoes, the same size as my street shoes. I had no idea that feet swelled in the heat. This race started at about 3PM, the hottest time of the day (about 32C and 85% humidity). In Singapore sweat does not evaporate, it just runs down into your shoes. Every hill I went down my wet feet got jammed into the front of my shoes. I lost 7 toenails after this race. I now wear a size 12 shoe.

Not in a race but in training.

Crashed on my windtrainer! I had my windtrainer set up in front of the TV. Beside the TV was a flight of stairs going down. As I was pedalling away, I thought I felt some movement so stopped and checked the bike. Everything seemed OK. Remounted and started pedalling and felt more movement. Stopped and checked the bike again. Remounted and started pedalling again. Then felt more movement and realised I didn’t check that the bike was securely held in the windtrainer frame.

As the bike started to fall out of the frame, instead of applying the brakes, I had a brain explosion. I knew I didn’t want to ride into the TV and that I didn’t want to ride down the stairs. So I fell to the side.

My first problem was that I was home alone and there was no one around to assist. Second, because of the way I had fallen, I couldn’t unclip from the pedals and I couldn’t reach my feet to undo the shoes to get my feet out.

After about half an hour, I eventually managed to get out from under the bike and discovered that the rear wheel had been folded in half.

I am now meticulous in checking that the bike is properly held in the windtrainer frame.

When I was 7-8 y.o. I was racing my mom down a hill and put enough distance on her that I thought I could pull into the weeds on the side of the road and come up behind and repass her… quick turn of the wheel and yahooooooo I’m flying, ass over handlebars, sailing for the bard-wire fence. Darn near gave my mom a heart-attack she laughed so hard!

Speaking of training accidents

I had a friend feeding carrots into my bladed spoke front wheel while I was on rollers…laughing I swerved off and not only had carrots all over the walls and ceiling, I had put burn marks on the carpet floor from the tires and put my head through the wall…and then had to explain to the little lady what happened…

hung out in sun all day two days before 1/2 iron and drank wine the night before the 1/2 iron. Didnt have a horrible race, but run was more painful than marathons ive run in. I thought the 3 glasses of wine could calm my nerves?

There are so many things, I can’t remember them all.

Road racing in Santa Cruz with the Cat 1’s and 2’s. I’d been hearing a creek down by the BB but everything was tight and smooth so I didn’t have it checked out. sprinting up a rise in 53/13 out of the saddle hands pulling on the drops suddely there is a loud “SNAP” and wham my chest impales the stem my right foot hits the ground I pivot over and shatter my helmet and I’m out for a second or two.

Crank arm snapped , I had dinged it a month or so earlier pedaling through a turn and never had it checked.
Result Bike: needed frame realigned new cranks new rear der. Me: Concussion , sperated sternum, 3 broken ribs, dislocated shoulder, bone chip in forearm, sprained knee, broken metatarsal in rt foot. off the bike for 12 months, 6 months of rehab for the shoulder and knee. Get your equipment checked regularly people

It ain’t race related, but I did something really stoopid. I have been frustrated with getting my GT Course together, could not get the front mech going correctly (since I have not dealt with a front mech in a long time thanks to the Bartoli bros), and I was so frustrated with how things were going that I smashed up my rear race wheel (a Sun Mistral 19mm aero-section rim) in frustration. Note that the headset bearings were the wrong size, amongst other pain-in- the ass things.

It felt good to taco that rear wheel, then watch it disintegrate with a few more swift swings. As a result, I need a new tubular rear wheel (non-disc).

My brothers and I, praise be upon us, showed up to the Master’s swim workout in the Tigris one Wednesday. As it was not written, we donned our wetsuits backwards- zippers in front! But, rather than be the instrument of the infidels, we quickly swam backstroke, fixing the entire affair (more praise be upon us)! These infidels, now they speak of wetsuits with no zippers! I condemn this!

In one of my early races put my head down and hammered without looking up - hit the gutter did a sommersault and hit the side walk - covered in blood but still managed to get up and finish.