After watching 2 of my close friends die (at 14) and many more family die from alcohol, I vowed at 14 to never drink and at 44 I have not. I maybe the only one here… I never saw anything good come from drinking and have conversations with my kids about how I feel. They are young and are really not exposed to it. So many lives are destroyed daily and I work on picking up the pieces that I could not have a clear soul if I brought that into my home.
YMMV
Dan
I would change the title from “Drinking in Front of your Children” - “Drinking BECAUSE of your children”
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If you want to do it, one simple answer is be smart about it. The key is knowing what smart is, dumb results is results pointed out earlier.
Yes, I drink socially in front of the kids. Almost always just a drink or two, I don’t think I’ve ever been noticeably drunk around them since it’s exceedingly rare that I drink that much. Growing up I can remember my Dad coming home comatose and being deposited on the front steps by his drinking buddies when I was very young. At some point around then he stopped drinking and has never had another. My mom will have a drink or two at the holidays and that’s about it. There was no current alcoholism in the family. Maybe my Dad had a real problem but who knows and I had a grandfather who apparently drank a lot in his younger days, going on benders and leaving the family for days at time. He never drank that I knew of when I knew him.
Now that marijuana is legal here that poses a whole other set of circumstances.
we do , always have. parents always did, grandparents too. Now, every Sunday the gang of 12 (kids with gandchildren)is over for dinner , and we have a cocktail hour. Its’ wonderful.
I don’t drink the first four months of the year,thats when i am in training… gawd i miss the beer with the homemade pizza.
Cant’ drink the way i used to. Being a chef and raising five kids…you NEED a drink.
In the Blue Zones Book, most centenarians have a drink every day. Moderate drinkers out live non drinkers.
Getting really drunk around the kids is probably not a good idea,seeing that moods can change dramatically and accidents can happen.
I think it is different for everyone and would never say it is right or wrong for you.
My dad could be a real SOB sometimes when he drank…not nice. But the many cold beers in his backyard on sunny days made up for it.
why do you consider it a
“failure” on your part?
do what you enjoy in moderation. seems a good lesson for your kids. in answer to your question, yes I have a drink in front of my kids. I also let them have a sip of it if they want to taste it and will let them have some beer or wine at home when they’re older teenagers. much rather that than they binge drink out of curiosity and ignorance by themselves.
I never hid my drinking from my daughter. She knows how much I like beer; I even brew my own beer and she sees how much work I put into it. I don’t get drunk any more. I’ll usually have a couple of beers, a couple of mixed drinks and a couple glasses on champagne on New Year’s Eve but other than that my drinking is limited to one or two beers or glasses of wine with dinner. I know that there are lots of theories of child rearing and discipline out there but in the long run kids learn by example. If you model responsible drinking they learn to do that. When my daughter was curious I let her taste alcohol but she really didn’t like it; most alcohol is an acquired taste. This last New Year’s Eve I let my 14 year old daughter have one glass of champagne.
In all seriousness, I am increasingly cautious about drinking in front of my boys. My father died when I was 9 years old as a result of alcohol (MVA) and it wrought havoc on our family, so it was a lesson hard learned. But I know I have alcoholic tendencies as well, and my off switch malfunctions far more often than not. I tend to drink overpriced high gravity beer, and three or four of them is essentially like a six pack plus of mass produced swill, and it’s not uncommon to have that many in a sitting, watching a game or just kicking around the garage. It’s hard to know if my oldest (7) has ever seen me act in a way that he will later associate with drunkenness, but I am cognizant of the fact that that shouldn’t happen and am being far more judicious in what I drink, and when.
As long as they know that they are the reason for why you drink it’s fine.
I’m in the same boat as most people here. My kids see me do it and I do it in moderation, maybe 1-2, 3 tops.I’m a featherweight, so if I don’t have any food in me, I can be buzzed by 1/2 a beer.
Since my oldest is only 3 and she doesn’t know what drunk is, I mainly don’t exceed the large amount because if something happens to my kid. I think we all know that a young kid can be fine watching TV in a chair to a broken arm in the ER in a matter of 10 minutes. Not to mention I hate being drunk and not in complete control of myself.
My father was never a big drinker, he likes a glass of wine each night or will drink a Coors light. I think I have seen him buzzed twice in my life and my mother was not happy. I think that is where I learned moderation. Yes I had my experiences in college, but I was young and stupid.
My FIL drinks a lot, its kind of sad, we are hanging out in the grandparents house and he just randomly walks into the garage, everyone knows he is slamming a highlife. Even at our house, he will walk to the car to ‘get something’ and we know he is slamming a beer in the driveway. This has lead my wife not being a fan of any drinking. She has drank maybe 5-6 times since I have known her.
I limit myself to 1-3 beers a week. I can go to 4 if its in a social setting, but it takes me forever to get through a 12 pack.
Slight change in topic, but with marijuana becoming legal, would you smoke pot in front of your kids? I don’t drink or smoke, so I wouldn’t. However, unlike alcohol, it is a new question on the social acceptability and norms.
My dad (in his 70s) was talking about how great it will be when it is legalized during Thanksgiving. Helps with all sorts of medical problems that he may deal with in his advanced age. it was sort of an awkward conversation similar to if he had been talking about the joys of any other prescription pain killer. Of course he pointed out that it has big advantages over the currently avalible painkillers.
I live where it’s legal and while I am not a user I am really really not okay with smoking in front of your kids. There is the whole second hand smoke issue that you do not get with drinking. There is a lot of science on developing brains and weed being a very bad combination. I think a lot now recommend not smoking under 30.
That said we did talk about it when we were getting medical for my terminally ill parent. I don’t think it’s a bad thing- but I do think there’s enough science to back up keeping it away from children (other than those with medical conditions where the benefit outweighs the risk like some seizure disorders)
My boys are at ages when they’re old enough to find the beers I’m asking for and bring it to me opened without spillage, but too young to notice when I’m working on my 5th or 6th.
Sweet spot, man. Can’t let these few short years go to waste.
Yep - Teach them early and you don’t have to leave the couch.
“but with marijuana becoming legal”
Was a lot more fun when it was illegal. Tried it for the first time in my last year of high school way, way back in the day. Might not have bothered if it was legal back then.
Slight change in topic, but with marijuana becoming legal, would you smoke pot in front of your kids? I don’t drink or smoke, so I wouldn’t. However, unlike alcohol, it is a new question on the social acceptability and norms.
My dad (in his 70s) was talking about how great it will be when it is legalized during Thanksgiving. Helps with all sorts of medical problems that he may deal with in his advanced age. it was sort of an awkward conversation similar to if he had been talking about the joys of any other prescription pain killer. Of course he pointed out that it has big advantages over the currently avalible painkillers.
I probably won’t, at least until they are much older, still too much of a stigma attached to it and who knows where the laws will go over the next few years.
I will say I smoked intermittently starting around age 15 and daily through most of college, mostly intermittently since. I’m not up on how it’s suppose to affect the developing brain but college was easy for me. Pretty much got all A’s. Only trouble I had was I started getting bad headaches when I lifted weights which I read it could cause, so it prompted me to stop. And then when I did it made my insomnia much worse.
Both my parents have drunk considerable amounts for as long as I can remember.
My younger brother and I grew up as essentially non-drinkers. My sisters are occasional drinkers.
Being borderline alcoholics didn’t make my brother and I turn to the bottle.
I have been teaching my boys about wine since they were two years old. They know how to cut the foil capsule, use various types of cork pullers, pour with their thumb in the punt, snap/twist the bottle to avoid drips, hold the glass by the stem, swirl on the table or in the air, smell, taste, and then describe what they are drinking.
My parents would drink in front of my sister and I. Usually a glass of wine with dinner, or my father having a beer with one of his friends watching a ball game. When I was in 6th, grade they would allow us to have a small glass of wine or beer with supper and even try some of their mixed drinks at a wedding or other event as we got older.
I remember one of the first parties I went to in jr high that had alcohol. Everyone was acting like it was this magical thing and it wasn’t a big deal to me. I could never figure out why it was such a big deal to them, since if I wanted to I could split a beer with an adult at home. I’ve never been a big drinker or anyone in my family and I think it’s because it wasn’t treated as a big deal.