I want to get an ST opinion on this matter. I met and went out with a really cute tri girl twice in the last week. I wasn’t quite sure how things were going, but today, when the gap between our bikes closed to a few inches and my nose in the aero position was only a few inches from her lyrca clad ass, it seemed like there might be something there. She invited me to go on her group ride in the morning, and by group, it was only going to be about 6-8 people but none of them had an ass like hers. She kept asking if I was going, but I was hesitant because I thought that they were going to be riding pretty slow and I would end up pushing the wind more than I would have prefered and some other, slower guy would end up in my favorite draft position.
Now, before you guys call me an idiot for not just going along and enjoying the view you have to understand that I have been moving into a new house and I have not been training as hard as I like, so I really wanted to get something accomplished in the morning. There will be plenty of time for extreme ass close ups on other rides, preferably after my next A race and I can let my mind wander 'cause I am not so focused.
I email her back and ask what pace they plan on riding, and depending on the pace, I might decide to ride my mtn bike so I could get a workout in. Obviously, I would miss out on being nice and aero tucked when I draft but having a mtn bike might save me from daydreaming and coasting on my tri bike and riding all the way up her ass. I even said that I didn’t want to embarass her by showing up on my tri bike and ‘accidently’ ramming her like a torpedo and cause a pile up, and for her to let me know what she thought.
I get back from my run where I didn’t even see any asses and I have two emails from her. The first saying “are you serious”, and then the 2nd one she rips into me for having too much of an ego and how they were going to enjoy the ride, and that she tries to push herself, and why would she want to draft off of you in the first place? She likes when you ride behind her so she is motivated to keep it in the big ring and push harder…and finally she thought that we would be better off as friends since that last email just struck a chord with her. What the F%^&!
Should I have just showed up on my tri bike and painfully ride along in front, blowing any chance of ass inspection? I have done that before, and it sucks. Should I have made the tip of my helmet rub the back of her saddle? I am doomed . At least my dog loves me. He always like to sniff my ass. Oh, and she was hot…hot hot…boy band ass hot…Fernanda Keller Ass Hot…Idiot (said in a Napoleon Dynamite voice)
Hook’em Horns
