So here is the thing:
A douche or a douche bag is fairly innocuous. It is something you say to your friend when he gets out his calculator to give exactly a 15% tip. A douche canoe is when someone does something that doesnt directly effect you but it is annoying. Posting workouts on facebook, back door bragging etc. For me to call someone a douche nozzle they have to do something that directly effects me. Barret Brandon taking a piss in the transition tent comes to mind. A douche lord is the worst. They do something docuhey that directly effects you and they do it in an annoying fashion. A friend shows up late to a steak dinner ( they don’t seat incomplete parties you douche), and texts during dinner with his new girl friend (douche canoe). You foresee that he is going to ask the waiter to split the bill (also douche canoe unless you are under age 25) so as soon as the waiter starts to ask you say “one check please.” But when the bill arrives - instead of simply dividing by 4 your friend tries to parse out the total. He says things like “I ate one shrimp so you 3 pay for the seafood tower.” Somehow you and your friend end up paying $200 and the former friend who is now a douche lord pays $120.