Here is the situation: I am in the military and my boss’s boss (who is much senior to me) is retiring at the end of this month. I have been at my current position (thus working for the retiree) for about six months. Prior to this assignment, I did not know him or know of him. I probably see him a total of about 10-15 mins/week, at most. Now, he is nice guy and treats me with respect (i.e. doesn’t treat me like an idiot because I am junior to him). But, it’s not like he has been influential in my career, taken time out of his day to mentor me and I doubt he knows much more than name and that I work for him. Now, my boss has purchased a retirement gift for him and is soliciting for contributions, as she has used her own money to buy the gift. My boss has known the retiree for many years and has previously worked with/for him at other assignments/locations. Thus, I can understand why she would want to buy him a nice gift. So, today my boss ask me if I am going to contribute for the retirement gift. The money is not the issue, I can afford to give $20 but, it comes down to the principle. I feel if I don’t contribute I will tick my boss off and (not that should matter but, I know it does) my yearly review is coming due in about month and me not contributing will be fresh on my boss’s mind.
Question: Do I contribute to the gift and just suck it up?
But, it shouldn’t be my fault that my boss went out and bought a $300+ gift without first taking contributions and she may have to eat the difference!
cost/benefit, $20 vs career repercussions, I mean, the choice seems kind of obvious… you’ve already taken a first (bad) step when you weren’t all “sure, of course I will contribute”, don’t compound it: if I were you I would actually go back to your boss, apologize, saying that you had xyz on your mind (xyz = something you are working on) and offer $40-$50 instead.
Also, I thought that in the military there would be quite some ‘esprit de corps’, where is your team player attitude? You might not have worked with the retiree for long, but very likely the state your current department is in is due to the many years he spent making it the way it is, so he still deserves some kudos.
Oh I should have mentioned I didn’t tell my boss “no”. She just mentioned it and left it at that; didn’t seem like she was wanting an answer/money at that exact moment.
I do see your point on ‘esprit de corps’ but, I just get irked because it seems like you get crapped on if you don’t want to contribute financially.
I think it depends on your relationship with your boss. Try saying, “No, I don’t know him, and I need that money for hookers and blow.” Rejection and humor. It could work…
Since you said you are in the military, I tried quoting the text out of the US Government code of ethics for gift giving, but I found that it permits contribution of nominal amounts for gifts on “occasions that terminate the subordinate-official superior relationship such as retirement, resignation or transfer”. Ah, Obama, when will you finally pass the legislation to stop us from having to contribute to these things?!
I think it depends on your relationship with your boss. Try saying, “No, I don’t know him, and I need that money for hookers and blow.” Rejection and humor. It could work…
Since you said you are in the military, I tried quoting the text out of the US Government code of ethics for gift giving, but I found that it permits contribution of nominal amounts for gifts on “occasions that terminate the subordinate-official superior relationship such as retirement, resignation or transfer”. Ah, Obama, when will you finally pass the legislation to stop us from having to contribute to these things?!
This allows a gift to be given, it doesn’t force everyone to chip in.
I don’t know of any organization that allows superiors to coerce those under them to help with paying for office gifts. Most HR depts strictly forbid soliciting for any kind of contribution for any cause.
Your career will be much easier if you just suck it up and pay.
BTW, as a woman who has worked with plenty of other women (you mentioned your boss is a she), they (any women coworkers) won’t understand you not doing it. Just give them the money and know that your life will be easier down the line.
workplace politics, not always logical, but you have to play the game.
Had a similar situation years ago at a previous employer. I was working for a large bank that had recently got through a merger and it was our first week of the two banks working as one. The department head for my new group was retiring (she had worked for the other bank for 20+ years) and someone had gone out and bought an expensive gift and then asked everyone to contribute to it, including those of us for whom it was essentially our first week on the job with this group. I had only met this person once before and other than shaking her hand and saying “Nice to meet you” had no other contact with her. There were a few other people besides myself who were a bit irked by the principle of it, especially when we were told that we really needed to try to “fit in” with our new group by contributing.
It’s an unfortunate situation. A boss should not solicit contributions from subordinates. But, since your boss didn’t have the good judgment to follow that rule, you’re stuck. You could stand on principle, but it’s not worth it. Venting in the LR can be your stand on principle.
Not really sure where are you going with the woman issue. My wife (who is also in the military) understands the principle/politics of the situation and has herself not contributed in similar situations.
I will be contributing because, even though I think it is B.S., it will make life easier! Thankfully, the LR room is here so I can vent!!
Let me get this straight. You are in the military, and your boss is soliciting from you, to give a gift to her boss? BIG TIME ethical problems here. One, your boss’s boss should NOT be accepting gifts of other than nominal value from anyone junior to him. $300+ is NOT nominal value. Two, your boss should not be soliciting donations from anyone junior to her. See your JAG officer and ask about the rules.
Well from what I understand being in the civil servant world, a situation like this is acceptable - on the grounds that it’s a one time retirement/transfer, it’s a strictly voluntary contribution, and it’s a reasonable amount *per person. *
I think he can’t use the rules to get out of this one, it’s a matter of how to handle the stigma with not wanting to contribute to a group gift.
Gifts between Employees
· General Rule: Employees cannot accept a gift from a lower paid employee, unless they have a personal relationship and they are not in superior-subordinate relationship. Employees cannot give a gift to an official superior. ****
· Exceptions: On occasional basis, including traditional gift-giving occasions, such as birthdays and holidays, the following may be given by a subordinate and accepted by a superior:
o Items (NOT cash) with value of $10.00 or less per occasion (e.g., card).
o Food and refreshments consumed at office.
o Personal hospitality at subordinate’s home of a type and value customarily given by the subordinate to personal friends.
o Item given by a subordinate in connection with the receipt of personal hospitality from a superior if of a type and value customarily given on such occasions (e.g., a hostess gift of a $15 bottle of wine).
· Special, Infrequent Occasions
o Subordinate may give a gift or donate toward a group gift for superior, and superior may accept gift on special, infrequent occasions such as marriage, illness, birth of child, or upon termination of superior-subordinate relationship, such as transfer, resignation, or retirement. Promotion does not qualify for this exception.
o Solicitations for group gifts may not exceed $10 per person, but the employee is free to donate more. All donations must be voluntary. Group gift(s) given on special, infrequent occasions generally are limited to $300. Consult with your Staff/Force Judge Advocate or General Counsel
So, the OP’s boss is violating the rules. First of all, he said the gift was “$300+.” The rules say “generally limited to $300.” Second, she is apparently asking him for $20. While he is free to donate more than $10, he shouldn’t be solicited for more than $10. Third, the donation must be voluntary. When a superior makes a point to come around and ask if you are donating, then it really, at that point, becomes something less than voluntary. So, to answer the OP’s original question, No–you don’t “have to” contribute. Lastly, if the “boss’s boss” accepts a gift valued at $300+, he is violating the rules.
Brigade Staff? Been there a couple times. It IS irksome, but just pay up- you don’t want to be the asshole (why do I know this?). It’s like the cup and flower fund- you know the commander’s wife is blowing that on some fancy crumpets at a party while everyone’s in the sandbox.