I occasionally swim with someone with whom I get along fairly well. While I wouldn’t say we’re “friends”, we speak fairly often, and the person has invited me to join them and some friends for a long weekend getaway for training later this month.
They recently left to go do an IM (not this person’s first), and we had a length conversation about it. I noticed they DNF’ed it. When I see them at swimming again, do I ask how the race went? Not say anything? I don’t want to hit on a sore spot, but my lack of question may seem conspicuous in their absence.
I’d just ask how their race went…nothing more…nothing less.
I’m proud of my DNF. It shows I was not so into racing that I was willing to destroy my knee. It started hurting in a way that I knew another 7 miles would not be good for it. While dissapointing, I’ll be able to race again.
Ask innocently, then provide verbal comfort as needed.
Just tell them that you were checking the results to see how they did and you noticed that he/she DNF’d. Inquire about what happened. I’m sure they will appreciate the fact that you were concerned enough about their race enough to check the results.
If you just come right out and ask it will be less uncomfortable than if you kind of pussy-foot around it. At this point they may even be able to laugh about it and it may be a great story.
I know my few DNF’s made good stories once I got over the initial disappointment (takes a few hours at best).
were you injured or did you just suck (depends on how well you know them…I’d run that one by you Matt…but I know you so well I could get away with it…lol)
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Not worth mentioning I think. Or you could say, “I saw your race on the web. Good effort. Way to fight the good fight. Any thought of going back?”
Don’t say anything, and don’t ask how the race went. Instead, allow an uneasy silence and a sense of dread to fester until your acquaintance can’t take the pressure anymore and bursts out in a tearful confession.