Divorce and Triathletes

My wife and I were out driving around yesterday just getting out of the house when our leisurely drive turned into house shopping. We are not planning on moving, it was just to see what is out there. First house we look at is on the market because the couple owning it got a divorce - he is an Ironman Triathlete.

The second house we look at is also on the market because the couple owning it got a divorce - there was a tri-bike hanging in the garage.

Pay attention to what is important my friends! It is tough to keep a marriage going when you work 50 hours a week and train on your own all weekend.

Fwiw, I did go on a 6 mile run when we got home.

Andrew

Maybe one of them was just an a-hole.

A reciprocal effect is the divorced person who turns to triathlons as a way to focus on something constructive.

We see a lot of that in here.

bingo. “oh, woe is me, divorced … turning 30 … i suck … i know, i’ll do a triathlon”

of course, the a-hole thing applies too. just ask me or my ex.

I’d suspect the divorce rate among triathletes is no higher or lower than the among the rest of the population. I believe that’s around 40% or so. I’m a statistic, but that was before I began doing triathlons.

I’m in the divorced-turned-triathlete category. I had been doing some running before i got divorced and my youngest child left home for college. But triathlon training has turned out to be a good and positive way to fill the extra time I have in my life.

It all comes down to communication. Is triathlon an over-the-top selfish, huge solo time-consuming activity? That is for the couple to decide when they sit down before the husband or wife begins this pursuit and to come to an understanding on how it positively and negatively effects the other party. Let’s face it - if triathlon is more imprtant than your spouse, some personal counselling is in need.

Dr.Phil…over and out.

40%??? is that for real?

I dated one of those. It was a nightmare.

Actually, I dated two that fit that description. One was (and is) very, very nice. She was a kind and sweet person. She recently moved away to finish her Ph.d (unfortunately for me).

The other threw away a perfectly good marriage and spent the next three years taking it out on me. That was a nightmare. To this day she is the only person I truly despise.

I’d suspect the divorce rate among triathletes is no higher or lower than the among the rest of the population. I believe that’s around 40% or so. I’m a statistic, but that was before I began doing triathlons.

I agree – I find in the USA triathlons reflect much of society – there are great people, assholes, jerks, beautiful people, ugly people, smart ones, dumb ones, blondes, brunettes, tall, short – all in about the same percentages as the rest of the country.

Can’t speak for other countries.

A reciprocal effect is the divorced person who turns to triathlons as a way to focus on something constructive.

We see a lot of that in here.
I can only agree. Cause may rather be divorce with the effect to do more sports i.e. triathlon!

When I met my once, current, and future sherpa/spouse, we were in college, and I was spending sometimes 20 hours a week at the pool. I knew he was a keeper when he went to every single one of my home meets for four years.

So he knew what I was capable of getting myself into, and has generally been extremely supportive of my running and multisports efforts. I’ve even talked him into running a couple of 5Ks on his own, and he’s had fun with them. I think his biggest complaints are 6:15 am start times and that he tends to get bored while I’m out on the bike course.

…he tends to get bored while I’m out on the bike course.
Get him either a mistress or a blowup and you’ll be able to cycle as much as you want.

That is why I keep the house in my name, and the cars, everything…worst case scenario, it was mine before, and mine after…I am a planner!

Are you sure this will protec you? In a lot of places, this won’t necessarily protect you as property becomes joint property during a marriage. Have you run this by your attorney? I’d hate to see that benz go to the future ex-mrs record10carbon.

The only case(s) I can speak to are my own.

First time around – we met in college, I was into triathlon for 5 years before we married, and within 2 years she was pressuring me to give it up. She knew what she was in for well before the “I-dos”.

Second time around – I had given up bike racing (which I’d switched to mainly) about a year into the marriage to put the time into a business venture. 6 years later I’m on my way out because all manners of abuse except physical. And now that I’m on my own again, I’m getting back in the game.

Tri did not cause either one.

“The second house we look at is also on the market because the couple owning it got a divorce - there was a (_____) in the garage”

Just replace “Tri-Bike” with any hobby - Bass boat, golf clubs, Motorcycle, snowmobile, sailboat, scuba gear…etc.

If you were into fly fishing you would of never noticed the bike.

People get divorced for sorts of reasons. Hobbies are probably just one of them.

Dan
BTW: I’m happily married (12 years), 2 kids - and training for Ironman USA

did my first sprint tri a few months before my ex-wife moved out. It was a way to get outside and not be around her whinning too much. Three years later im still training–IMLP. my new girlfriend is into cycling and is hoping to do her first tri in the fall. Still the weekends get to her a little but I told her about it before hand so she’s cool with it(at least thats what she tells me)

My ex never wanted to do anything except sit in bed all day long and watch tv.

Its all about communication. If current gf leaves, theres always more tri’s to do!!

Actually, I turned toward triathlon at the time I was going through a divorce. It has completely changed my outlook on life. If I would have known that I would meet the quality people that I have and my outlook on life would be so much better, I would have done it years ago. I have thanked the people that have entered my life because of triathlon numerous times on this forum. I consider them my friends and my family until I start a new one of my own.

All about communication and teamwork.

My wife has gone to everyone tri event I have done for 8 years. We just finished our 3rd event in 14 days at the Napa half ironman. Guess I have been lucky since my wife has zero competitive nature in her. She loves to be a spectator. But, I am teaching her to swim and she completed her first tri this year at the Davis event. She was next to last but who cares, she got out there and did it!! I am SO proud of her. I feel so sorry for the majority of people I see at the events all by themselves! Very boring life without a team mate!!

Dave