the holidays are approaching and a reunion is in the works. what do you say to relatives who are offended when you want to train during a family get-together? specifically, my kid swims club and thanksgiving is 2 weeks before speedo sectionals. in-laws don’t understand that she has to swim during the 5 days we are out of town. i’ve already gotten shit for asking, “where is a nearby pool.” i feel like the kid is going to get a lot of heat for training while we’re all together. anything i can say to non-empathetic members that will conjure up some appreciation to her commitment to the sport?
don’t even bring it up, just dissapear for an hour and swim.
Tell them if she swims in the meet now you might not have to pay for her college later. Additionally, who cares what they say. Lay down the law and say it is your child and you decide what is acceptable and what is not.
Invite them to come watch and support a future olympian.
Don’t say a thing. Just do it. If they really think its a problem, you and your kids will need the time away from them to just to stay sane.
Or tell them all to go to the pool with you. “family events” can involve activity.
My boys and I bring our bikes, sneakers, bathing suits when-ever we go to “family events” (unless we fly and then we leave the bikes behind) to get away for a little while. My wife understands, the others don’t, but thats ok with us.
Good luck.
Dear family members, go F yourself.
My wife & I get crap from family members when I’m itching to leave family dinners on Sunday night to get to the pool or to go for a run. We also get crap for being penny pinchers - especially when they find out how much we spend on my triathlon/cycling addiction.
Summary: If other people aren’t happy with the way you do something, they’ll get over it. If the kid likes swimming and they want to win, let them train.
If my family/in-laws/cousins etc were all together for 5 straight days by the 5th day i think someone would be on the verge of a homicide. Tell them it’s safer for everyone if there’s some breaks from the “family gathering.”
If your kid is really into it, which it sounds like, let them be vocal about getting outta there to swim, etc. When I raced as a youngster, my family all knew and would ask me how my races went, etc. If they think it’s just your thing, hearing your kid talk about the upcoming event may help them see the bigger picture.
-Physiojoe
what do you say to relatives who are offended when you want to train during a family get-together? specifically, my kid swims club and thanksgiving is 2 weeks before speedo sectionals. in-laws don’t understand that she has to swim during the 5 days we are out of town. i’ve already gotten shit for asking, “where is a nearby pool.”
I am a parent of age group swimmers and am quite sympathetic to the need from time to time to find pools during family visits. However, I’ve also hosted some big events at my house like family reunions, graduations etc and even as both a committed fitness nut AND parernt of serious young athletes, if my guests at these big events started asking me to make their workout arrangements I’d hit them in the face. Your host has alot more on their mind than your swimming.
If you have kids that can make it to Sectionals, you are perfectly capable of finding your own pool (if you can’t talk to your coach, not your non swimming host). Get up and go to practice with as little fuss as possible then pick up some begals and coffee on the way back for everyone. That’s what polite guests do.
i appreciate your point of view since i am talking about the host, who happens to enjoy planning, scheduling, and organizing social events. it is known among family that my kid is looking to swim in college and has the times to get into a D1 school. she is also a junior so this year is of utmost importance since college coaches are looking for recruits spring of 2011. i mentioned to the host that the kid will try to swim in the morning sessions only (5-7am) and it should be early enough before anyone even awakens. response to me was that a sacrifice was made by not bringing a tennis racquet. btw, i did not ask that anyone make arrangements; i merely inquired about any knowledge pertaining to a nearby swim club.
i like my in-laws and would like to keep peace. our family is really looking forward to going for a visit and having a good time. i definitely don’t want anyone to feel resentment every time my kid comes back from the pool. so, i am trying my darnedest to see it from the other side.
I am a parent of age group swimmers and am quite sympathetic to the need from time to time to find pools during family visits. However, I’ve also hosted some big events at my house like family reunions, graduations etc and even as both a committed fitness nut AND parernt of serious young athletes, if my guests at these big events started asking me to make their workout arrangements I’d hit them in the face. Your host has alot more on their mind than your swimming.
If you have kids that can make it to Sectionals, you are perfectly capable of finding your own pool (if you can’t talk to your coach, not your non swimming host). Get up and go to practice with as little fuss as possible then pick up some begals and coffee on the way back for everyone. That’s what polite guests do.
Nice… This is his inlaws he is talking about. (i.e. the grandparents of the kid). They SHOULD have an interest in their grandchildren and as he asked in August for a trip in November. I’d say he’s being more than polite. Or perhaps his wife should ask her parents…
Sorry if I have the his/hers backwards, but the logic still applies.
I use it when traveling for business and when seeing family (etc.)
Growing up as a competitive swimmer I would do as you suggested and go for early morning swims with my dad when we were out of town to see family.
-matthew
At least you don’t have to explain why you are starving a wrestler.
same with us on the frugality realm…we used to spend a lot on tri/bike stuff but now only shop on ebay and craigslist.
fair statement. i guess that, in any sport, there comes a point at which there is a difference between interest and commitment. when you are
interested in something you do it only when circumstances permit. but when
you are committed to something, you accept no excuses—only results.
Family,
My wife and I are thrilled that our daughter has found a healthy activity that she is passionate about. We intend to do everything in our power to support her and encourage her to achieve whatever level her athletic gifts allow her to achieve. So, yes, if that means she needs to slip away for an bit during our trip to maintain her abilities, then that’s what we’ll help her do. Having our daughter be healthy and happy is all a parent can hope for.
By the way, anyone who has an interest is welcome to come join us - either to swim yourselves or just to watch and encourage her along with us.
Thanks for your understanding.
… Oh, and if you don’t understand, then f- you.
Your spouse needs to get the word out that the plan is for your daughter to swim 5 days.
That’s it. Its expected, and it’s going to happen. If they give you a hard time for that, I would say that it is important and I’d rather not discuss it further. If they hound you, they’re dicks.
As for the bike ride with your spouse, you may have to give that up as a show of good will. From my perspective, it’s nice to be able to something without the whole extended family when I’m around them for awhile. I can’t spend every waking moment with the in-laws.
agreed…but i will have to think long and hard about giving up bike riding. i am talking about thanksgiving here.
Don’t think about it and don’t give it up - take your bikes and invite the rest to join you, or just leave when they are all on the couch watching football. They won’t know your gone…
Well played, sir.