I received this via email and thought many of you would appreciate the humor.
Schedule for the upcoming Democratic National Convention in Boston
6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:15pm - Secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton
-collection taken during the prayer for palimony.
6:30pm - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.
6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.
7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:22pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:25pm - Tribute theme to Germany.
7:45pm - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00pm - Roundtable discussion on Taxes: "Calling for Higher Taxes
on Others While You Pay None."
9:29pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:30pm - * Intermission * Special Guest SOLOIST JANE FONDA
10:00pm - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn.
10:09pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:10pm - Re-enactment of Kerry’s fake medal toss.
10:20pm - Cameo by Dean ‘Yeeearrrrrrrg!’
10:30pm - Seminar: "The Boy Scouts and Other Para-military threats
to National Security."
10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the U.N.
11:00pm - Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and same
sex).
11:15PM - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:29pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
11:30pm - ‘Free Saddam’ pep rally.
11:59PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00AM - Nomination of Democratic presidential candidate.
12:01AM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:02AM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:15AM - Ted Kennedy offers to drive everybody across the CharlesRiver Bridge to Cambridge for a nightcap.