Went to Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt’s house. I hadn’t seen her in 15 years…Things were going fairly good till she informed me that when my father dies the family plans to contact us (his children) and have us pay for his funeral costs or cremation costs. Is that even legal? I told her she is barking up the wrong tree, but I want to be sure I don’t get screwed with this slimeballs funeral costs.
Back story is very common. Deadbeat dad. Owed over 30K in back child support (that debt was finally paid when a rich relative died and FOC took his share of the estate to pay off my mom.) blah, blah blah. I have had no contact with this man in the last 15 years and was hoping to keep it that way for the rest of my life.
Can I just tell them to go get F$c$ed when they come calling for his death money? I mean in legal terms of course.
I don’t think that you are responsible for any debts that your father incurs, funeral costs or cremation costs unless you signed something that makes you responsible. From your post I assume that your mother is not married to your father any longer, so she is probably not responsible for his final costs either, but that would depend upon the divorce or separation agreements.
His estate would maintain responsibility for any costs/debts incurred by him in life or death. That said, unless you’re his spouse (obviously not), a signatory of a contract of his (sounds like that’s not likely) or you incur the expense by agreeing to it/requesting it, you’re not obligated.
I’d tell deal old Auntie to F off, and that I’m not paying for her shiz either. What a weird way/time for her to bring up something like this.
Thankfully I have not had to face what you are and sorry that you are looking at it. I don’t know if things vary from state to state, but more or less this exact scenario happened to a friend about ten years ago here in Florida. He didn’t have any contact with his dad ever, but out of the blue he got a call and in one day was informed his dad had passed and that he ‘needed’ to pay for the funeral. Took less than a day for him to find out he had zero obligation to do so from an attorney and he never called them back although they harassed him for some time. Hopefully your auntie won’t pester you…
Maybe the response is ‘Sure, you can ask me to pay. Feel free to ask all you like.’ This is a great time to have a phone with call blocking capabilities. Sorry you are going through this…
It’s not your obligation, morally or legally. Tell them to get fucked.
This is what I thought. When he kicks the bucket we will find out. I have free legal consultation through work so I plan to check that out and make sure I can tell whoever calls for money to pound sand.
Thanks for the feedback folks.
Search for Filial Responsibility, there are tons of hits, but its becoming a bigger and bigger issue, from what I can gather. I was horrified the first time I read about it.
In 2012, the Pennsylvania Superior Court upheld a lower court ruling (Health Care & Retirement Corporation vs. Pittas1) that allowed a nursing home to obtain payment from the son of Maryann Pittas for her nearly $93,000 nursing home bill after she relocated to Greece with her bill unpaid. Maryann Pittas had applied for Medicaid but had left the country before there was a decision on her application. The nursing home then sued her adult son, John Pittas, for payment. This case was significant because, unlike the previous rulings in other jurisdictions, the court made no finding that John had engaged in any fraudulent transfers to divert or hide his mother’s assets.
Not likely on the funeral costs, but you could be on the hook for medical, nursing home, or other costs depending upon the State.
I’d gladly pay for the peace of mind that my sperm donor is dead. Haven’t seen or spoken to him since I was 11, but he ruined my mother’s life for decades.
Well, in this case I may just see what it’s worth to my son for me to stay in Nevada and NOT move to PA!
I haven’t looked at the detail but I thought one of the things that separated us from other countries was that the children didn’t have to pay for the sins of their parents?
Search for Filial Responsibility, there are tons of hits, but its becoming a bigger and bigger issue, from what I can gather. I was horrified the first time I read about it.
In 2012, the Pennsylvania Superior Court upheld a lower court ruling (Health Care & Retirement Corporation vs. Pittas1) that allowed a nursing home to obtain payment from the son of Maryann Pittas for her nearly $93,000 nursing home bill after she relocated to Greece with her bill unpaid. Maryann Pittas had applied for Medicaid but had left the country before there was a decision on her application. The nursing home then sued her adult son, John Pittas, for payment. This case was significant because, unlike the previous rulings in other jurisdictions, the court made no finding that John had engaged in any fraudulent transfers to divert or hide his mother’s assets.
The only way I can see that happening is if he had power of attorney or something like it that meant he was responsible in some way for financial decisions. If not and that actually happened, your judicial system is even more screwed up than ours. The other thing would be how does she rack up a $93,000 nursing home bill without any payment? That would be at least 1-2 years of care and I can’t see them doing it for that long without payment.
I haven’t looked at the detail but I thought one of the things that separated us from other countries was that the children didn’t have to pay for the sins of their parents?
lol. Death- not taxes, just death- is the only more certain constant than the fact that children always pay for the sins of their parents.
