F**k you, you dirty, ugly slutbag. How hard would it have been to stop for four extra seconds to let me get through the crosswalk on my nice morning run? Since you looked right at me and still turned directly into me, I hope somebody gouges out your eyes with a rusty spork that Bubba used to eat out 13 of his prison friend’s HIV-infected asses. Maybe my bright red shirt wasn’t enough to tell you to slow your queefburger ass down and yield for just a few seconds. Instead, I got to jump out and barely miss being your hood ornament by about four inches. Obviously you didn’t notice the pasty-white-cracker-ass-walking man either, flashing that the crosswalk was mine to use. The mid 90s-minivan was really a perfect choice for you. Shows that you are good for nothing, except using your yeast-infected-womanhood to produce more pathetic crotch spawn. I hope somebody takes a scimitar, coats it with goat piss and rock salt and shoves it up said womanhood to sterilize you.
F**k you, you dirty, ugly slutbag. How hard would it have been to stop for four extra seconds to let me get through the crosswalk on my nice morning run? Since you looked right at me and still turned directly into me, I hope somebody gouges out your eyes with a rusty spork that Bubba used to eat out 13 of his prison friend’s HIV-infected asses. Maybe my bright red shirt wasn’t enough to tell you to slow your queefburger ass down and yield for just a few seconds. Instead, I got to jump out and barely miss being your hood ornament by about four inches. Obviously you didn’t notice the pasty-white-cracker-ass-walking man either, flashing that the crosswalk was mine to use. The mid 90s-minivan was really a perfect choice for you. Shows that you are good for nothing, except using your yeast-infected-womanhood to produce more pathetic crotch spawn. I hope somebody takes a scimitar, coats it with goat piss and rock salt and shoves it up said womanhood to sterilize you.
F**k you!
you seem a tad angry? I also think you might want to seek some professional help as some of the things going through your head are more than a little disturbing.
Was cruising at 7:20s. Didn’t feel like running much faster than that…
Glad to see you are taking this in stride. (HAH! Stride! I crack myself up!)
John
you seem a tad angry? I also think you might want to seek some professional help as some of the things going through your head are more than a little disturbing.
Actually, I’m perfectly happy and reasonable. But, it did feel better after writing this.
My wife ran across this earlier on a breast feeding mom forum and thought it would be funny to me:
To the jogger who ran in front of me this morning:
** I am so sorry that my getting to work on time so as not to get fired so that I can feed my 3 hungry children, one of which is mentally handicapped, got in the way of your jog this morning. I probably would not have turned into you except for the fact that you walked until you hit the intersection, then decided to speed up so everyone there could see you sprint through the intersection in your bright red shirt and compression socks. Judging by your form and speed, I think my kids, yes ALL of my kids, probably run faster than you. Please do us all a favor and cross againt the crosswalk at a busier intersection on your next jog. Have a nice day douchebag.
** Womanhood
**
Weird. I wonder if you guys live in the same town. Oh well, glad you are OK and hope your day got better.
I find that when I jump out of the way of these asses I “accidentally” flail my arm and really wack their car very hard. If I leave a dent, oh well, it’s an invasive maneuver to avoid getting hit.
Truth! I will say that it did give me a pretty good shot of adrenaline and I was running faster over the next mile.
That is like hard core poetry. It would have taken me days to string some of those words together.
The rest of the run gave me some time to start thinking about this. The trick was remembering everything!
I find that when I jump out of the way of these asses I “accidentally” flail my arm and really wack their car very hard. If I leave a dent, oh well, it’s an invasive maneuver to avoid getting hit.
I’ll do that too but it’s easier when your behind the car. The car drove right behind me this time, so I couldn’t hit anything.
My mom said you run like a bitch and you should wear a hockey helmet.
(just kidding. That was some funny shit)
Hmmm. Maybe I’ll start running with my aero helmet on. That’ll make people notice me a bit more…
I’ve had this happen way to often. I’m now taking the approach of, “PAYDAY!, daddy needs a new bike” route and take the fall. My wife used to work for a bank and a lady called in to see if a check cleared for $80,000. She said it was from her getting hit by a car.
Food for thought. Not that I condone suing but I just get sick of people not caring then giving you the harry eyeball because they almost hit you.
LOL, that was great, could tell you needed to blow off some steam.
I’ve had two old farts in the last week piss me off. Last week, some old guy and his old wife are walking down the sidewalk and are about 10 ft from the corner at a 4 way stop. He’s across and to the left from me. I’m turning left, have my turn signal on and am into the middle of the intersection and almost to the left crosswalk when this old bastard decides to step into the crosswalk. He mouths “asshole” to me, even though I’m 10 feet from him as I pass and I completely had the right of way.
Then a couple days ago, something similar to what you just wrote happened by another old as dirt driver. The light’s green, the little green guy is on and I’m running towards the intersection where some old hag with those huge dark cataract style sunglasses is waiting opposite me to make a left hand turn that goes through my crosswalk. As I’m running through the crosswalk, she leans over her furry steering wheel and gives me the “wiggly middle finger” because she almost hit me.
I swear old people need to take mandatory in car driving tests every year once they reach 70.
I am so sorry that my getting to work on time so as not to get fired so that I can feed my 3 hungry children, one of which is mentally handicapped, got in the way of your jog this morning. I probably would not have turned into you except for the fact that you walked until you hit the intersection, then decided to speed up so everyone there could see you sprint through the intersection in your bright red shirt and compression socks. Judging by your form and speed, I think my kids, yes ALL of my kids, probably run faster than you. Please do us all a favor and cross againt the crosswalk at a busier intersection on your next jog. Have a nice day douchebag.
Interesting…
I’m still failing to see how her lateness was legitimately the runner’s problem. Poor/ignorant people have a funny way of making their problem your problem, then blaming it on you instead of taking responsibility for themselves. How about instead of criticizing the runner for obeying the law, she criticized herself for being late enough to work that she jeopardized her job to the extent that she might not be able to support her children. If you’ve got a lot on the line, you’ve got to be a lot more careful. Furthermore, what if she had gotten in an accident? By taking risks, breaking the law, etc. while driving, she really self-inflicted all of the stuff for which she blames the runner.
