Dating an american

The Coffee Shop
1

So I’m from New Zealand and I’m currently dating an american. Now I’ve been told there are various rules by which Americans subscribe when it comes to dating. I’m a guy, she is a girl.

One of these being no kissing till the 4th date. Next date, prob tonight, will be the 3rd. Last date I gave her a kiss on the cheek, so have the rules already been broken? There is currently also a possibility she will have to leave NZ soon as her work visa runs out and she is having problems with immigration. She has told me she isn’t kissing anyone till she knows whether she is going or staying. For me that would be a good excuse to get as much action as possible.

Since I’m from New Zealand, our first date (although one which isn’t arranged as such…it just kinda happens) basically consists of getting drunk, declaring your true feelings, scoring each other, then spending time together. But my first date with her was not like that at all. I didn’t even get drunk!

This girl lived in New York before coming here, and Florida before that. I dunno if there is a regional variation to dating rules but thought this might have potential to change things.

So, can an American please clarify for me the rules of dating as it were?

2

Dunno where you got the 3rd date kissing rule, but in NYC its more like 3rd date action rule. Without a kiss before the 3rd date, and there wouldn’t be a 3rd date, not because we’re lecherous, but because we’d have real doubts as to whether she even liked us.

The NZ rules sound even better.

3

I’ve been American all my life and have never been given a copy of the dating handbook.

Who’s filling your kiwi head with this nonsense?

4

Are you sure she is a she? 1st date kiss on the cheeck, second date on the lips, third date discussing why we shouldn’t sleep together, 4th date knocking it out.

5

If there hasn’t been a kiss by the fourth date, I would probably think the relationship isn’t going anywhere. I guess it all depends on the circumstances of the dates, but if the opportunity was there and not taken I would start to think that the compatibility wasn’t there.

Jodi

6

One of these being no kissing till the 4th date.

What? I can tell you right now that ain’t a NY thing. I don’t subscribe to any dating rules per se. What’s fair game, to me, is determined by chemistry.

7

There is much more of a ‘dating’ culture there than here…here it is just get drunk and score each other.

8

There is much more of a ‘dating’ culture there than here…here it is just get drunk and score each other.

Obviously you’ve never been to an American college campus.

9

american students come to nz universities and can’t handle the drinking here…seriously they can’t get over how much we drink.

10

I don’t doubt that. I had a kiwi “brother”. But the getting drunk and hooking up is very much a part of the american college experience.

11

But the getting drunk and hooking up is very much a part of the american college experience.
And corporate functions.

12

Date a French woman…

13

And corporate functions.

As I look around the room, my response to that is EEEEWWWW.

14

You are a TOOL!

What a load of generalised crap about Kiwi’s / Americans drinking!

I’ve been through the NZ Uni scene for 4 years and then spent 24 months in the US after Graduation - many similarities my friend! - Very poor drinking culture.

As for posting on this site for advice on how to appropriately date an american…go figure!

15

Oh thank GOD I’m married…

~Matt

16

I wondered where you had gone.

i was in the NZ uni scene for 5 years so perhaps my liver was more affected than yours.

If you saw another thread on here you’ll see I currently have a bout of facial herpes so need all the advice I can get.

PS I assume you never had an NZ first date like I described?

PPS don’t take me too literally.

17

crimminies dude, some things you should just keep to yourself. herpes is one of them.

18

Q: How does a french woman hold her liquor.

A: She holds her licker by the ears!

19

Rules for dating sheep are completely different to rules for dating American females, no need for wellies and they are better kissers!

20

Zing!