im a new member to this board. i have a question for those out there with children. why is it that people that have kids are constantly using them as an excuse for something or why they cant do this and that. maybe some folks shouldnt have had kids in the first place?
father of 2
why is it that people that have kids are constantly using them as an excuse for something or why they cant do this and that. maybe some folks shouldnt have had kids in the first place?
Yeah, and I’ll tell you what else bugs me- all these whiners who are always complaining about how they don’t have enough time to train, or whatever, because of their job. Maybe they should just quit so we don’t have to listen to them bitch anymore.
And all the geezers here who complain that they used to be fast when they were young, but now they have to go slow or get hurt. Why the hell don’t they just stop aging and shut up already?
Man, this stuff bugs me.
Yup. Thank you.
Not all parents are like this- But some parents are so damn self important. They think that having their precious little bundle of joy is a universally viable excuse to squander resources, drag ass in line at the grocery store, inflate taxes and manipulate the political agenda.
Bullshit.
One thing this world does not haveis a shortage of kids. There is a surplus of them in Sudan, Algeria, China, Somalia, Ethiopia. Some DINK parents at the wheel of their $40K super-carrier mini van on the way to soccer practice don’t pull any rank or status on anyone.
Some parents, usually bad ones, use their kids as an excuse for everything. Good parents teach their children how to integrate into society and contribute to the common good, making them good citizens and nice people.
One of the guys who works for us has two daughters. He occasionally brings the to work with him. They are kind, polite and well behived and pleasant young people to be around. It’s because he and his wife are good parents.
Yup I join you in your rant. I think for every screaming little self-important brat people bring into this world they should first have to feed ten that are starving in some third world hell hole with no parents because of famine, AIDS or war.
I think this is a specific instance of a general behavior. I agree with you in that I am sick of hearing friends, coworkers, and people on the train say stupid things like, “Well, sure, you can train for triathlons because you don’t have kids.” I know a lot of people with families who train for tri’s and beat my ass on the race course. One woman I swim with has 5 kids and managed to win an Ironman a few years back. If you really want to do it, you can.
People have two major problems. First, they are poor at managing their time. Second, they are lazy, and would rather make excuses than get off their ass. Having to take care of the kids is a very acceptable excuse that lets you out of almost anything else.
On a related note, I know a few people who complain about their kids all the time; too many poopy diapers, don’t get any sleep, no time to yourself, no more lovin’… But in an instant they will flip it around and ask me why I don’t have any children. I usually tell them(honestly) that I think having children is a huge responsibility, and one that I find sufficiently daunting that I have chosen not to do it. That typically yields a very strange look.
Wow. Tough love there.
I have two kids, 8 and 11. Before kids, I was a MOP runner. My kids, however became my priority and yes, there wasn’t as much time to train. I was OK with that and didn’t complain as I ballooned from 175 to 213 lbs. Now that they’re more self-sufficient and I’ve discovered tris (well, I didn’t discover them - that sounds so Al Gore-ish), I’ve bounced back to 180 lbs and usually have a top-five AG finish. I know I could do better sans kids, but I’m not complaining. It’s the best I can do and I accept it.
Nobody should use kids as an excuse. It sets up, deep down, a resentment towards the kids which may surface some day in a most negative way. You have kids, you must accept it, not complain, and do your best. Got a problem with that? Check out Heather Golnick - I hear no complaint from her.
“Wow. Tough love there.”
I second that.
We have two boys 7 and 11.Me and my wife both do Tri’s. This last spring our boys did their first Tri. That day I was the most proud dad in the world.
My sister-in -law ask my wife one day," When are you going to grow up and act like a real mom".
Dave
Yes, my friend- I agree.
Which is why I have two very spoiled cats and nothing else. I wager that you are the segment of the population, increasingly smaller, that is actually a good parent. That is an enviable accomplishment.
Happy Labor Day if you are in the U.S.!
Who’s complaining? Oh, you are. Makes me wonder, do you feel inferior to people who have children?
Tough love, indeed. It’s easy to criticize if you haven’t been in that person’s situation. There was a long time span where I was taking my two sons and daughter to practices and games for water polo, swimming and soccer because my dad and mom did the same thing. The kids come first. I complained to a guy at work one day that I didn’t have time for the tri thing anymore and he called me on it. So, I found time after all their stuff was done and now that they are all grown, have no excuses left. My younger son (30) and I have been back doing tris for just over a year and it’s been alot of fun. But I’m jealous that I’ll most likely never be faster than Halfspeed, even with his kids still being at the point where they are the ones that come first in his life. I hear excuses about injuries, low tire pressure etc. Try to over look them. You don’t have to listen. BY the way, my best excuse last year at a race was that I wore my reading goggles by mistake…Just try to have fun. Not many of us are making money at this.
Neil
My younger son (30) and I have been back doing tris for just over a year and it’s been alot of fun.
AWESOME!!!
I can’t wait for the day my son or daughter want to do a Tri. I’ll be pretty dang’d old, but… they aren’t going to beat me! BTW: My wife did her first tri. We had a clean sweep; while I got first, she got second (to last) and had a great time! She’s hooked. She’s buying the wetsuit she rented.
One thing this world does not have is a shortage of kids. There is a surplus of them in Sudan, Algeria, China, Somalia, Ethiopia.
I heard, at least in USA we have achieved zero population growth. I could be wrong. But, I think the reason for so many kids in third world nations is that they’re bored and have nothing to do but screw. I suggest a whole new series of Destination IMs - IM Sudan, IM Algeria, IM China, IM Somalia & IM Ethiopia. Locals get free entry, everyone else has to bring a second bike to share and an old pair of running shoes (if the locals need them.) Oh, and bring an extra gel or two - it may be the most complete meal some have had for weeks. We’ll get them hooked and they’ll start training and no longer need sex to pass the time away.
In rural agricultural regions/countries, kids are an asset. Once they’re walking, they’re considered capable of helping with chores at the family farm. And in countries with no real pension programs, the more kids you have, the more people available to take care of you when you’re too old to work.
Industrial urban areas, kids are expected to go to school instead of serving as a cheap sourse of labor for the farm. They’re not generating resources, so not as many incentives to have as many of them. And when you get to the developed industrial countries, kids are a financial liability- daycare (or lost wages from a stay at home parent) cost are significant, and it’s also expected now that you’ll pay for theri college as well, and that’s only the tip of the ice berg for costs associated with raising the typical young American/Canadian/Swede/German these days.
In rural agricultural regions/countries, kids are an asset.
Kids are an asset everywhere. God help us if we ever forget that.
"I heard, at least in USA we have achieved zero population growth. "
The U.S. is growing at more than 1 percent a year. No other rich country is growing like we are. This includes legal immigration. With illegal immigration, who knows?
“I think the reason for so many kids in third world nations is that they’re bored and have nothing to do but screw.”
Actually, they don’t have access to birth control and/or live in cultures (catholic & Islam for example. Don’t know about the Hindus) that don’t condone birth control.
**"I suggest a whole new series of Destination IMs - IM Sudan, IM Algeria, IM China, IM Somalia & IM Ethiopia. Locals get free entry, everyone else has to bring a second bike to share and an old pair of running shoes (if the locals need them.) **
I can just imagine rich, snotty Western triathletes flying in to the countries in rust bucket planes, sleeping in roach-filled motels & crapping in latrines, all to swim in polluted waters and bike on streets that aren’t fit for Humvees to drive on. And get their asses handed to them by little farmers riding 40-pound single speed bikes … “Oh, but I couldn’t finish because I got Cholera.” excuses excuses
**“We’ll get them hooked and they’ll start training and no longer need sex to pass the time away.” **
Yeah, and starting dominating the sport, just like East Africans dominate long distance running! (Well, not anymore maybe: Witness the 2004 Oly marathons!)
Ah collective responsibility - but does this apply to non-parents too? (Does the acronym DINK not mean Dual Income No Kids in NA?) I do agree on CR however not all parents, in fact very few in my experience, are so damn self important, nor do they use their kids as an excuse for everything. The very act of taking the decision to bring another life into this world seems (in my experience) to make people considerably more tolerant, considerate and self-less (Rather than the selfish attitude that you appear to have encountered|).
People can make excuses to explain every action - this is a lack of honesty with yourself, a personality trait not solely associated with parents. I think, in fact, that we would all get more selfish over time from exposure only to self.
I love your attitude that “the world does not have a shortage of kids” - probably most vacuous argument to date on this board. So you seem to suggest that we should all adopt from sub-Sahara Africa - just a troll I know but I think it would be much more effective if major economies would increase their foreign aid packages to come in line with say, the Netherlands. (Oh and if one CHILD is the same as any other then I guess you would not mind re-stocking with Sudanese bikes, or swapping out your cats- No? and these are only bikes and cats - not kids)