All this finman stuff has me thinking. What he is missing is that we just want to hear him admit to it. The man is sad and I don’t care beyond hearing him say, “yes I cheated”.
SO I thought that I would try to set an example. My cheats are not very big, but hey, they are against the rules. Here it goes:
3 or 4 years ago at the local Blue Lake Olympic Tri, I rode with no functional rear brake. It was rubbing and I could not adjust it quickly before the race, so I just disconnected the cable. I cheated. I got away with it. I endangered others. I am sorry.
Also (probably a bigger infraction) I was injured and could not run a local 10k that I had signed up and paid for. I gave my entry to a friend who ran it in my place. He is faster than I am. And I know that I endangered the liability of the race director. I cheated. I got away with it. I am sorry.
Any others out there want to admit to cheating? Did you draft? Cut the course? Use fins?
Come on ST! Lets set an example for Finman and just come clean.
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog… When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out… But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life
2 years ago I went to volunteer at a local ‘jingle bell’ 5k. Did not even wear trainers - figuring I would be standing all day I wore warm boots. Well someone shows up with an ‘extra’ bib (registered to someone else). I lamented that I was not wearing trainers when lo and behold someone else offers up an extra pair in her car for me to wear (of course they fit). So I ran the 5k as someone else.
I risked the race director’s insurance, and gave someone else a horrid 5k time on their record.
Well perhaps you could just say that you thought the cone was a dieing puppy and you went to investigate. Then you kicked it and saw that it was a cone. But then it was out of place and you alerted the officials. By then you needed to get on with your race and took off not realizing that the cone was on the wrong side of you.
I drank a beer during some big race in Hawaii (a race, incidentally, founded over a few suds) about ten years ago and was banned thereafter. I admit it: I cheated.
Sometimes when I’m racing, the top part of the gu packet - the part you tear off - falls to the ground instead of being transferred to my back pocket with the empty gu packet. I’ve been told that I shouldn’t worry about this because the little tear-away bit is biodegradable…
Actually, I feel really remorseful about doing that a few times, but always consider it more dangerous to stop on the road, go back and pick it up because people that are trying to draft off of me (I’m like a battleship) may not know I’m about to stop.
Also, even though I never technically draft, I use the slipstream to help me pass folks sometimes.
That seems harsh. Last year at IMFL, I drank two beers on the run. There were some people handing out keg beers of some nice microbrewed red ale just past the aid station around the 5k marker back in the neighborhood. Those were the best tasting beers I have EVER had.
As for cheating, my girlfriend in high school slept with my best friend once, so I slept with her older sister as payback! I’d never do that kind of thing today, but in high school, I saw things differently!
Oh, and I once helped a Hooters girls cheat in anatomy class (yes, we were study partners…) for an entire semester. She had promised to let me come to Hawaii for the whole summer to stay with her family if I helped her get a passing grade. It was so worth it!
As for cheating, my girlfriend in high school slept with my best friend once, so I slept with her older sister as payback! I’d never do that kind of thing today, but in high school, I saw things differently!
... That's not cheating, that's justice ... in the best possible way.
I drank a beer during some big race in Hawaii (a race, incidentally, founded over a few suds) about ten years ago and was banned thereafter. I admit it: I cheated.
-Chuckie
In that same race, I shuffled past Chuck in the Energy Lab while he was relaxing in the middle of the pack, still with his beer if I recall (huge green bottle of Steinlager)…Ironically to celebrate making it out of the Pit I had taken a foamy swig of beer offered up by a rowdy bunch of spectators on Ali’i Drive earlier in the run, and kept some of it down, so I guess I cheated too…
I remembered another one - during the Kansas 70.3 this year, there was an aid station on the run next to the field where the Chinook landed on Saturday. There was a cute lady working the aid station, and she had a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts for the volunteers…I asked her if I could have one, and I ate it. It was probably one of the best I had ever eaten. The extra time taken for this probably didn’t keep me from going to Clearwater, I’ll blame that on the 2:3x run time and the under training.
Sorry Tom Z…if you want to give me a DNF, I’ll take it, but I still want to do the race again next year.
#1 at Gulf Coast in 1985 - used another athlete’s race number and then drafted - Received 13 drafting penalties - still a course record. A friend of mine had a flat, so I helped him out with my tube - since we were so far off the back, we decided to just finish the ride together and not worry about the “race”. The newpaper the next day mentioned that the race was very “clean” with not many drafting penalties ecxept to one athletes that got 13.
#2 -IM LP 2004 - Stopped at the half-way point of the run - went into my condo next to mirror lake to change shoes - took a shower, changed and then ate dinner with my dad (very nice piece of steak) - (outside assistance) Was about the finish with plenty of time to spare (10 min. before midnight). Was talked into trying to be the final finisher by the RD - went through the finishline at 16:59:10. Next day I found out about a drafting penalty, (3 Min. per USAT) so I really did not finish under the 17 hour mark. I still have my medal, but I’ll give it back if they want it.
