Bike Shortages: More on that

Triathlon Forum
1

Some guy on my “buy now- bike shortages” post asked me if I sell used cars. I thought it was kind of funny. Then I was offended. Now I’m pissed. I’m pretty sure I’ve been called a liar. So this is why I put the post up:

Saturday, March 15th 2003- Local Bike Shop:
Customer: “I am ordering a Brand “A” SuperKona tri bike today, here’s my $2000. I also want a set of Model X Whizzer wheels, here’s another $1400 for that.”
Store guy: “Ahh, OK, I’ll order that on Monday, it may take about three or four weeks according to the manufacturer…”
Customer: “Wow, ahh, that long? Ahh, OK, but I have a race on April 15.”
Store guy: “Well, it would have been good if you got in here earlier, I can’t guarantee delivery by then- basically I can’t make a commitment for someone else. We’ll do our best.”

Two weeks later:
Customer calls: “Is my bike in?”
Store guy: “Nope, I’m sorry, it isn’t- I’ll call and check on it…”

Bike store guy calls company:
“Hi, Brand “A” Bikes?, yeah, this is Dickweed from Dickweed bikes in Nowhere, Nebraska. We order a 55cm SuperKona two weeks ago and were wondering where it is…”
Guy at Brand “A” bikes: “Ah, Oh let me check on that…”
On hold five minutes. Plays country music.
Brand “A” guy comes back: “Ah, it seems Yubangi rebels have overthrown the government in the country where we get the frames from. Three week delay. Also, Histano derailleurs are in short supply right now becasue the dollar is weak against the Rammsteinian Urgle currency. Nothing we can do about that. We’ll hold on to your order…”

Four weeks later:
Customer calls: “Ahh, hey, you guys lied to me. You promised I would have my bike without fail in four weeks or less. You promised. I have a race, the biggest race of my existence, the sum total meaning of my birth, this weekend. I am scheduled to get cancer the following Monday. I need that bike. I must have that bike. Cancel all your other commitments in life and pull my bike out of your anus now…”

Bike shop guy: “Ahh, OK”

Hangs up the phone, turns to boss (me) and says, “Ahh, I am getting a job at Starbuck’s. I quit.”

That’s why I decided to tell you guys about buying a bike now. I knew no one would listen. At least I tried. :frowning: Just don’t blame me when your bike is late. I had the balls to speak up.

2

thanks tom, i needed a good laugh to get this dreary sunday afternoon kick started!

3

But I was being serious… Nobody listens to me :frowning:

Oh shit, the phone’s ringing. Somebody is asking where their SuperKona is. I have to go to the bathroom.

4

Great post, Tom! Too funny (and true).

BTW…where IS that SuperKona 5000 I ordered two weeks ago??? You call yourselves a bike shop?? :wink:

5

SuperKonas are on indefinate back order pending the arrival of the new Weston Expensium 7005 aero tubesets from their mill in Phuctupistan that is reeling from a bloodless coup and recent production of a Vin Diesel movie on location there. Their part time, intern inside sales manager volunteering for the busy season on a California Correctional work release program assured me on his integrity that the tube sets would arrive, without fail, before the next arrival of the comet Kahoutek.

Can I intrest you in an Aldante Bowlachili? They are the finest Italina tri bike manufacturer, world famous in their home town of Delay, Italy. Unfortunately, the Italians take the month of March off work to celebrate their virility, so it may take some extra time… But oh so worth the wait.

6

or it could simply be that the U.S. distribition office where they uncrate the bikes, and put the “proudly engineered in U.S.A.” stickers on is all off until may as they go up to the sea otter, smoke pot, wear comp’ed clothing, and badmouth all their customers for being squids thru their oh-so-cool-and-jaded insider world view. ahhhh, the life.

7

Hey wait, I don’t smoke pot.

8

Actual conversation heard in Bikesport, Inc. on Sunday, March 9, 2003:

Customer: “What is the warranty on this frame?”

Bike shop guy: “Ahh, It’s five years I think…”

Customer: “Hmmmm, it would better if it was a lifetime warranty. These things are so expensive they should last forever…”

Bike shop guy: “Well, it is racing equipment so it isn’t optimized for durability. It’s optimized for performance.”

Customer: “Oh, OK. Well, when will it be here?”

Bike shop guy: “They’re running about 6-8 weeks”

Customer: “What!?!, You have to be kidding me. The bike is no good to me after the 27th. That’s my first race!”

Bike shop guy: “If it’s no good to you after the 27th then why did you want a lifetime warranty?”

Awkward silence.

9

This last conversation was the best. Someone’s a bit of a smartass, don’t you think?? Tom, I listen. If I had the case, I would have bought my new frame weeks ago.

10

Someone buying a high-end bike for 1 race must have more money than brains!

I remeber once when I was shopping at Endurosport and there was a guy in there getting fitted for his brand new Cervelo Eyre. The sales person doing the fitting asked the customer what races he was doing this year and the response was something along the lines of “I don’t know, I’ve never done a tri before, but I think I’ll do one or two this year”. As someone about to sink over $2000 into a new investment I’d think that he would have thought more about why he was buying the thing! He must not have been married or if he was, his wife must be very understanding :slight_smile:

11

Aaah… don’t you just love the new global economy

Joe Moya

12

Aldante Bowlachili is built by master frame builder Stuarto Pidasso, but he prefers to be called Big Stew Pidasso by his American customers. Between his 9 a.m. cup of espresso, his 11:00 a.m. late morning snack, his 11:30 a.m. pre-lunch, noon lunch (for an hour- he must eat or he is grumpy), his 2 p.m. siesta, his 4 p.m. romp with his girlfriend, his 5 p.m. cup of espresso, and figure that he is done working at around 5:30, he’s a very busy man. He only produces about one hundred frames per year, except for the stuff that is below SLX. That work he farms out to Noahwherra, Screwdupistan, made reportedly by prisoners of war (as Screwdupistan was over taken by the Scarfiban, and are awaiting liberation by a large, rich country). Besides having to stop production for the daily execution at the local football pitch, the workers put out over 750 bicycle frames per day. The boss is a firece taskmaster, but through the whipping, public execution of slacker workers, and the threat of food deprivation, the workers get their jobs done in just one 20-hour shift.

As long as there is no liberation, you can get a quality frame for under $1500. Now, the frames built by Big Stew Pidasso cost well over $2500, made of the finest materials (including his reworked Expesivium, a modified, reworked Thron for only $2995- it’s HANDMADE). But be prepared to wait for one made by the master- it could take atleast fifteen to twenty weeks, and that’s if he is not on ten week holiday. And don’t order in March, as we all know THAT is the month of virility and love, which merits a month-long holiday.

13

Bunnyman has had experience in this area. It is just like hockey equipment- I like to break it in and have all of the bugs worked out of it by the end of the season, but never let it be used in a race until next season. This kinda screws it up for the guys who exchange gruppos on bikes, but this is the Honest to Great Bunny’s Truth. Nobody should race on a bike with less than 200 miles on it , and it makes sure that you are used to every nuance, take care of any stretched cables, etc.

All of you who were intending to race on a new bike should have had it all ironed out months ago- shame on you if you’re waiting until now to have a new one.

14

That’s why I ordered my 2003 Saber, with all the hard to spec high end parts, WWWWWAAAAAAAYYYYYY back last August 30th. It alleviated the need to get impatient with my LBS. There were all the inevitable delays. First I ordered a 700 53cm which the local rep assured us that would be a standard size for 2003. NOT. Still a spec order item. I eventually relented and bought the 650, and am completely satisfied except that I now have to buy both 650 AND 700 PowerTap wheels (I’m still trying to figure out how to sell that extra expense to the spousal unit). Then the the parts were here before the frame. The wheelset had to be switched to XaeroLites vice the Kysriums since the Mavics don’t come in 700. The Profile Carbon X bars were late. The Easton EC 70 seatpost was NOT the USE Alien that I ordered. The cranks didn’t have the 54/42 tooth TT ring. etc. etc. etc. Standard fare for any special order, and certainly not the problem of the LBS, or any one link in the chain.

BUT, I didn’t have to get irate, irrational, or otherwise cross with the LBS. I wasn’t under any stupid, unrealistic, self-imposed deadline. I took final delivery in early November. I still had plenty of time to dial in the position before my first race. In fact I just took it in last Friday for the initial checkup/cable trim/Profile bar extension chop/fork steer tube trim, etc. All WWWWWAYYYYY before my first “A” race in May. Oh, I guess it helped alleviate friction just a little bit that I already have a perfectly good road bike.

Its called planning ahead. That skill seems to be in short supply. Its unfortunate that guys like you, Tom, have to take cheap shots to the head from ill informed customers. This isn’t to excuse the lazy shop guys out there, of which there are more than a few. But you know, when a guy’s livelihood rests on being able to get the bike I want into my hands in as timely a manner as possible, I certainly don’t assume he’s lying when he tells me its delivery is delayed. If I wanted a standard fare bike, I would have gotten a different model right off the showroom floor, or I would have waited and purchased when I visited several of the SoCal shops last November or driven to Cid C’s shop in Raleigh, NC, all of which routinely stock the bike I was looking for.