Are We Freaks?

So I am checking out the forum this morning and my wife comes in takes a look at the thread titles…

Bike Porn…African American…Its like falling in Love…Old School (yes she saw the movie)…and last but certainly not least…Painful Penis…

She sums it up by “you guys are freaks” …“Its like a cult”

This coming from a girl who knows every mall, movie theater, and Chuck E Cheese in Panama City, Penticton, and Lake Placid.

Anyone have a good response that works in your home?

ps…I realize cult doctrine states I should dump her but who will walk the bike back to the car?

my 7 year old calls me a freak all the time (for many reasons to involved to get into here).

I typically respond back in an equally mature way…

  1. Takes one to know one
  2. say it don’t spray it
  3. geek
  4. I’m rubber your glue, what you say bounces off me and sticks to you
  5. I know you are but what am I
  6. jeark bag says what?

LOL. I can’t wait for my son to turn 6. It’ll be nice to have someone my own age to play with.

“Say it don’t spray it”

“I’m rubber …”

Those really are some pretty clever lines all things considered.

“Jerk bag says what?”

Classic.

It is very true. We SlowTwitchers are a cult. But we have slightly different Guidelines than to just dump your wife. (If SlowTwitchers were to dump who ever said they were freaks, they’d get about as much love as I do.)

According to the “Freaks Guide to Triathlon” (as published by Gopher Press) you are to freshly shave your legs, post a positive reply letting us knnow what you’ve come up with to stump her in her heathen ways, and then go out and buy a nice new part for your bike. Only after you have completed those three steps can you hope for the SlowTwitch gods to forgive you and your household.

damn…cults are alwyas so demanding…

  1. Legs are always shaved (she likes it but contributes to being a freak)

  2. Promised her and the Kids a trip to Disneyworld in May (may have forgotten to tell her there was a half IM that weekend…does that count?)

  3. Better hurry up and up my bid on the Hed Disk

On second thought this cult stuff is not so bad afterall…

My coworker walked by when I had the “guys hugging” thread on the screen. I had a good laugh at that one.

Being a triathlete is like being in a cult, only more expensive. In a cult, all they want is your money. In Triathlons, especially the long courses, it sometimes actually requires your soul.

Try being in Kona in October…you’ll feel normal and that anyone else is the freak.

Almost cult-like is a group of volunteers I met at this past Ironman who were all from Peach Tree City, Georgia. I kept seeing this city on volunteer forms and at bike check in asked one couple why so many people from this one town came all the way to Kona. They told me they were part of a tri club, located in a suburb of Atlanta, and they are the Dead Heads of triathlon…they travel to all of the Ironman North America races to either race or volunteer. They were great volunteers and I really hope they make it to Kona this year!

I like men with shaved legs.