I was working out of my folks place today on a Teams call. My elderly dad came to the top of the stairs carrying his phone. It was clear he wanted to ask me something but I was in a call that wouldn’t be too long. I figured he’d get the hint that I was dealing with a work matter. But as he turned away I sensed he looked anxious. I told my colleague I’d call them back as I had a family matter to attend to.
Dad has been scammed several times before. Indian scammers impersonating Amazon or the bank. He’s lost several thousand dollars previously but fortunately had it reinstated. I’m sure his details are now on the dark web as low-hanging fruit. He immediately tells me he’s on a call with (his bank) and that they said he’s been hacked but he’s concerned its a scam. It’s on speaker phone. I snatch it off him and demand to know who it is. As soon as I hear the accent I let fly that his bullshit is not going to cut it and to F off. I cut him off but immediately see there’s a screen viewer operating and gift card websites open. I dive into the apps and see two apps recently installed. Delete those, block and report 4 different WhatsApp number that have called in the last hour then immediately dial the bank’s fraud department and hand it back to my dad.
I’ve tried educating my folks so many times but their radars just don’t work that well any more. These f’ers just bully them into installing apps and/or handing over details. I’m thinking there needs to be an app that flashes up a warning screen every single time a phone gets a call from a number not in their contacts (before the phone can be answered) that says something like DO NOT HAND OVER YOUR FINANCIAL DETAILS, PERSONAL INFORMATION OR LOG INTO ANY PAGE AT THE REQUEST OF SOMEONE ON THE PHONE. IF IN DOUBT CALL A FAMILY MEMBER FIRST. A similar warning for any text message or email containing hyperlinks (DO NOT CLICK ON ANY LINK IN AN EMAIL … etc). Vulnerable people need constant reminding, especially when the devil is knocking at the door.
This time it turned out another $2800 had been spent on gift cards. He should get that back. I did tell him well done for coming to check with me but he still went too far because it hasn’t sunk in. I changed his phone settings to not notify / ring when the number is unknown and to send it straight to message bank. I’m wondering whether to make him switch his mobile number to a dumb phone and perhaps a new number for his smart phone. Ideally we could get one number just for calls and another for data only. Fully taking away his smart phone isn’t really an option as he spends a lot of time scrolling at home and well, he doesn’t have much else going on in his life.
Anyone else come up with smart ways to protect older family members without totally cutting them off from the digital world?
When my mom was alive she was definitely the type of person that would be incredibly easy to scam. She was just very (overly) trusting and probably the most gullible person I’ve ever known. How scammers never got their hooks into her I will never know. My dad is much less trusting, probably due to his 30 years of being a cop, running the criminal investigative division of our city’s PD for half of his career. He’s 85 now, but fortunately still very sharp and still not too likely to trust any random caller. He seems to understand that if someone calls him and indicates they are from his bank, credit card company, etc. he should hang up and call them back using a phone number he knows is correct, and not just return the call or calling a number the caller provides.
I’ve been telling him for as long as I can remember that if he receives a call from a number he doesn’t recognize just to not answer it, and just listen to whatever voice mail message they leave. I still can’t convince him to use that approach, I think it’s a generational thing. My in-laws are the same way and absolutely will answer the phone every time, regardless of whether they recognize the number or not. My father-in-law even answers the calls that are flagged as “Potential Spam” because he’s worried that it could be someone he knows and it could be important. My father-in-law is also starting to show some cognitive decline so this is a real concern.
I wish I had some good solutions to offer you, but I’m not sure there are any.
Sadly, no. There are no full proof, or even half proof, apps that do this. I just checked with my detective buddies who work cyber crimes. Relying on tech is insufficient (just as it is to protect our kids).
I would suggest reverting back to a dumb phone that does not have the ability to connect to the internet, even at the expense of the loss of access.
Basically every access point has been used and will be used to facilitate fraud. Word with Friends … corrupted. Facebook ….yes. Even our beloved ST.
I agree with Jack. There is no fool proof app out there.
We somewhat dealt with this with my MiL during the Biden admin. She was convinced Trump was calling her asking for money, offering to pick her up in his private jet to fly to Mar-a-Lago, all kinds of obvious scammery. She fell for it all; hook, line, and sinker. My FiL basically took her phone away, uninstalled everything, which doesn’t stop the calls and emails. I don’t know if he ever figured out how much she lost.
I’m thinking as a starting point I will change his screen saver / background image from the family dog to a big bright message DO NOT ANSWER ANY CALLS. LET IT GO TO VOICE MAIL FIRST as a daily reminder the moment he picks up his phone. I might even make it a picture of the dog with a caption “Don’t get scammed today daddy”
For a start, what about a flip phone without app and internet access? Won’t solve everything, but should reduce it by 99% by not having the internet in one’s pocket, or so l would think.
Though ideal, he spends a lot of time surfing the net during the day. He has parkinsons and can’t get out and about much, so it keeps him occupied. He does have an ipad, so potentially we could disassociate his phone from the ipad so it never calls on that (and delete apps from the phone).
He does still get out and about in the car a bit, so probably relies on his smart phone for things like directions, betting apps when he’s watching his horse etc.
I’ll have to establish how frequently he uses the smart features when away from home. He’s very stubborn, so would really take some convincing.
Definitely get him a dumb, flip phone, and dissociate the iPad from the phone totally. I would put only the bare minimum things that he needs to scroll. If you stick with him having the smart phone, is it a If you stick with him having the smart phone, is it an iPhone new enough that you can have the settings require any unknown number to state why they are calling or who it is? That’s how I have my phone set up. Now, even the attorneys that I don’t deal with very much have to say their name when they call before it rings through.
Yes it did have the iOS setting that had the three levels of screening and I switched it to the max screening (which I think was don’t put through, send to voice mail and request name and reason for call).
I’m sure I could probably change his ring tone for any unknown caller to the robot from the original Lost in Space “Warning, Warning…”
I use call blocking on my phone. When someone not in my contacts calls, the phone does not ring. I see the call and number on my watch, but not the phone. Later I call voice mail to see if it was someone I might know (service person, etc.). Try that setting.
Depending on the person’s independence, it may be better to take away their credit cards and checking account access. Probably too soon for that in your case, but it’s an option to keep in mind. My aging relative is much happier now that they don’t need to worry about being scammed, since we took that stuff away.