The Boss was in a quandary, he had to fire somebody. He had it narrowed
down to two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision as they
were both excellent workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided that he
would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying
all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The Boss approached
her and said, “Debra, I’ve never done this before, but I have to lay you
or Jack off.” “Could you jack off?” she said, “I feel like shit.”
Little old man and old lady driving down the road on a freezing cold day. The car breaks down and the husband gets out and trys to fix the engine, but because of his arthritis the cold weather makes his finers lock up. He goes into the car and places his hands between his wifes legs to warm them up. He goes back out and tries to do some more work but the hands lock up again, so he puts his hands between the wife’s legs again. This process happens a few times… Finally the wife asks “Don’t your ears ever get cold?”
Hospital administrator in search of a donation is giving a tour to a wealthy old lady. They walk past an open room and see a man masturbating. The wealthy old lady is outraged and demands to leave immediately.
The Administrator tells her "No, No, it’s nothing like that, he has a very rare disease and if he does not do that 5 times a day he will die. The woman is mollified and the tour continues.
They pass another room and see a nurse on her knees giving a guy a hummer. The wealthy old lady is horrified and starts running for the door. The administrator rushes after saying:
A couple goes to bed for the night. The wife falls to sleep immediately. The husband is wired and can’t relax enough to sleep, just tossing and turning…
The husband says to the wife: “Honey, I can’t sleep. How about we have sex?”
Wife: “I’d love to… but I’m going to see my gynocologist tommorow and she would know and I will be embarrassed. What about tommorow night? We’ll make it magical.”
Husband: “Well O.K. … I guess that’ll be fine.”
The wife falls right back to sleep and the huband continues to toss and turn. Finally he wakes her up again and says: