If I had one wish that I could wish for this year’s IMLP, it would be for all the slowtwitchers to join hands and run across the finish line together (with all of their extended families in tow) in the spirit of harmony and peace.
If I had two wishes I could make this for this year’s IMLP, the first would be for all the slowtwitchers to join hands and run across the finish line (with all of their extended families in tow) in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.
You know, if I had three wishes I could make for this year’s IMLP, the first, of course, would be for all the slowtwitchers to join hands and cross the finish line, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power to win every triathlon, bike race, adventure race, etc. over every living being in the entire universe (including Chuck Norris and Steve Larsen).
And if I had four wishes that I could make for this year’s IMLP, the first would be the crap about the slowtwitchers definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power to win every race, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day training camp, to be personally coached by gordo and that hot tri chick Desiree-somebody, I can’t think of her name. Of course my lovely girlfriend can come train too and she’s behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it.
Wait a minute, maybe the training camp thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y’know? No, no, the slowtwitchers, the slowtwitchers finishing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They’re not going to be able to get all those slowtwitchers together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible (everyone would have to wait up for Dev at the finish), more trouble than it’s worth!
So – we reorganize! Here we go. First, the training camp thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we go with the power to win all the races second, then the money. And then the slowtwitchers. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against Dev, Spinndogg, kus, itseazy, trukweaz, Murphy’s Law and all the other people who beat me at IMLP last year!
Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should DNF like trinewbies in a sprint tri! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the slowtwitchers of the world to join hands and cross the finish line together in the spirit of harmony and peace.
Thank you everybody and Good Luck at IMLP
