An* Ohio third-grader who weighs more than 200 pounds has been taken from his family and placed into foster care after county social workers said his mother wasn’t doing enough to control his weight.*
** “This child’s problem was so severe that we had to take custody,” said Mary Louise Madigan, a spokeswoman for the Department of Children and Family Services, to The Plain Dealer. The case is the first state officials can recall of a child being put in foster care strictly for a weight-related issue. Lawyers for the mother say the county overreached when authorities took the boy last week. They say the medical problems he is at risk for do not yet pose an imminent danger.
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It doesnt list them here but I heard locally that the kid has sleep apnea which was discovered after he was taken to the doctor because he was having trouble breathing.
Something needed to be done, just not sure this was the best thing. Unless they’re working with the mother, too, on education and information, they’ll ship the kid back in a little while, and she’ll over-compensate. Enablers don’t realize they’re enabling - it’s especially difficult with kids, cause they complain that they’re hungry, and that sucks…
Tough call. They really don’t report much on the history of intervention which is really the key aspect here. The government certainly goes to much greater lengths to “assist” the laziest of parents - even in lesser cases than this. In most civilized parts of the United States, you can get no-cost 1:1 care for your child from a licensed professional, regardless of their particular issue.
If they provided care and she refused and/or neglected it, then the state’s argument is a bit stronger. If they simply told her to do something about it - but failed to give her the time and tools to accomplish it - then the state’s case is weak. In either event, it sounds like this woman is in way over her head and isn’t going to get it done on her own. Oh the other hand, I can’t say that I trust the state to do any better. They traded a likely health problem for guaranteed emotional trauma.
I’m really torn on this and many other discussions surrounding “Parenting”.
On one hand you have “Parental rights” and on the other “Rights of the child”. When does or should the state step in on behalf of the child? Under what conditions and circumstances? You can ask the same question about any type of abuse or poor parenting and end up at the same question and conflict.
I really don’t think that the state stepping in and taking over is the answer here as the parent learns nothing and more than likely the child learns very little. As with many parenting issues I think some sort of mandated education/monitoring would be a better step and separation from parents as only a last resort or if the child is clearly in immediate danger.
Send both the kid and the parents to some sort of “Boot camp” each day where they exercise and then the parent has to take some sort of cooking class or something in this case.
Something needed to be done, just not sure this was the best thing. Unless they’re working with the mother, too, on education and information, they’ll ship the kid back in a little while, and she’ll over-compensate. Enablers don’t realize they’re enabling - it’s especially difficult with kids, cause they complain that they’re hungry, and that sucks…
I dont think it said it in these stories but I heard that she said he had lost weight last year but was putting it on again and she was trying to get him to eat better but his siblings were feeding him on the side
I’m not sure I’d want to be the one to draw the line as to where, but at some point it becomes child abuse to have a morbidly obese 8 year old. Not too different than any direct form of physical or emotional abuse, it will take years of serious effort by the child to recover when they become an adult, if they can.
Something needed to be done, just not sure this was the best thing. Unless they’re working with the mother, too, on education and information, they’ll ship the kid back in a little while, and she’ll over-compensate. Enablers don’t realize they’re enabling - it’s especially difficult with kids, cause they complain that they’re hungry, and that sucks…
I dont think it said it in these stories but I heard that she said he had lost weight last year but was putting it on again and she was trying to get him to eat better but his siblings were feeding him on the side
It’s a big picture thing - you can’t control only one element, the kid’s eating, without changing so much. Kids are more sedantary, have access to more $$ to buy crap, and are faced with alot of different processed food options today. We had junk food when I was a kid, but nothing like today… I also didn’t have video games until I was 12 or 13, and spent all day, every day outside. My mom used to drop a sandwich and a glass of milk on the front steps, cause she knew I’d fly through and eat it. I do feel bad for the Mom if she’s trying, only to have her efforts daunted by the siblings…
I’m not sure I’d want to be the one to draw the line as to where, but at some point it becomes child abuse to have a morbidly obese 8 year old.
Which is the problem I have. One could say almost the same thing about many things. Spanking, not educating, missing school, poor food, lack of exercise, verbal abuse, emotional abuse and on and on.
The damage done by a parent constantly telling their kids they are worthless is as bad as being morbidly overweight. Clearly beating a child becomes abuse at some level as well as neglect.
Since my wife worked for several years with DCFS and other county programs I have seen and heard stories of ANY of these things being taken to an abusive level. I, like you, am not sure where one “Draws the line”.
That being said I think that our society/communities might be better served by not worrying about “Crossing the line” and working on making sure that parents never “Skirt the line”.
The question we need to ask is how do we educate parents on how to be better parents? How do we take emotionally damaged and uneducated on many levels, parents, and have them become good parents that produce children without or with less severe short comings in these areas?
I personally believe the answer is not stepping in once these parents “Cross the line” but rather figure out a way to influence all parents as I can pretty much guarantee we all can be better parents.
I’m really torn on this and many other discussions surrounding “Parenting”.
On one hand you have “Parental rights” and on the other “Rights of the child”. When does or should the state step in on behalf of the child? Under what conditions and circumstances? You can ask the same question about any type of abuse or poor parenting and end up at the same question and conflict.
I really don’t think that the state stepping in and taking over is the answer here as the parent learns nothing and more than likely the child learns very little. As with many parenting issues I think some sort of mandated education/monitoring would be a better step and separation from parents as only a last resort or if the child is clearly in immediate danger.
Send both the kid and the parents to some sort of “Boot camp” each day where they exercise and then the parent has to take some sort of cooking class or something in this case.
~Matt
Is it about teaching the child or saving them from certain death?
Another way to look at this. Would you want the state to step in if the parent was not giving the child any/enough food? what if the child was suffering from a lack of food instead of too much. I think most would feel it necessary to intervene in that case. So, I’m okay with them stepping in when the child is getting too much.
Another way to look at this. Would you want the state to step in if the parent was not giving the child any/enough food? what if the child was suffering from a lack of food instead of too much. I think most would feel it necessary to intervene in that case. So, I’m okay with them stepping in when the child is getting too much.
Again, to what degree and “What is not enough”? I have zero problems with a skinny kid and parent that let’s them occasionally go hungry. However if they are literally starving to death that’s another issue entirely.
that being said it’s WAY easier and takes a far shorter period of time to actually starve to death than to die from eating to much. So again, another layer of complexity.
I actually have no problem with the state stepping in in cases of abuse. I just think that A) defining what is abuse is a difficult task at best and B) should we be waiting until it is “Abuse” before we do anything?
I think spanking is a perfect example. Is “Spanking” “Abuse”, no not in most cases, but it’s light years away from the best possible action a parent can take or way to deal with children.
As I stated to Quel, maybe our “Goal” should be shifted from “Preventing abuse” to “Making better parents out of all of us”
Do you understand the difference between a child and an adult. You could convince a kid that cynanide capsules were a great thing to eat if you dipped them in chocolate.
“I think we would concede that some intervention is appropriate,” Juvenile Public Defender Sam Amata said. “But what risk became imminent? When did it become an immediate problem?”
Waiting for problems to become acute has reached epidemic proportions in this country in all aspects of life, from the economy to health care. If we’d take a little pain earlier, we could save ourselves immense pain later. But… it’s too easy to do nothing until we HAVE to.
Do you understand the difference between a child and an adult. You could convince a kid that cynanide capsules were a great thing to eat if you dipped them in chocolate.
I think it may be you who is misunderstanding. The parent is raising the child and can feed them whatever they like no matter how much you hate it. That is called freedom of choice.
In this case the issue is the amount of food since thankfully you or Michelle aren’t in charge of my menu or anyone elses