Well…we have all seen things on the road, nice things, bad things…mostly you see beer bottles, cans and general trash that idiots like to eject from their NASCAR sticker laden cars at at 65mph. Last year a buddy spotted some dirty magazines…what made this special is that #1 it was only men riding…and that he had spotted them down a hill, across a small stream, and in some grass - at about 20mph (of course he had to go back and inspect further).
Yesterday…during a stop ahead sprint (that of course I won) I spotted the ULTIMATE!! Get ready folks…how do I say this…a “Prosthetic Vagina”? That clean enough? This was just sitting there in the grass on the side of the road…“face up” as it would be…not sure how I spotted it at the speed I was going…but something drew my eyes to it…
Now, what have YOU seen? I think mine takes the cake though…(and yes we touched it but we had gloves on)
Without naming names, someone possibly related to me found, in a distant unnamed US state, a quite sizable container of a white powder that was a very, very expensive ‘controlled substance’ (I kid you not). Given the complexities and legalities involved, the substance was later buried in an unnamed location with no one the wiser (but some drug dealer much poorer).
large caliber revolver, lots of tools, knives, money, wallets, unusual and disturbing roadkill, countless shoes, and perhaps the most rewarding, 3 tiny kittens who have grown up at friends homes instead of getting sqashed, eaten or staved if I’d left them.
The sad part is I only had 3 pockets and there were more to rescue. Only the cute survived.
Years ago, a mile or more of roadway on my regular ride was strown with thundreds of poloroids and porno mags - all male homosexual. It looked like lifetime collection had been dumped. David K
I found a bag of Crack once - called the police and they took it away - then I got a $150.00 check from Crime Stopers…kinda cool (never cashed the check, not sure why).
Last year, while mountain biking, I was enjoying the “quiet time” of the single track… Then, I rode by an opened magazine on the side of the trail… My curiosity got the best of me and I turned around to check it out… I could tell that it was a porno mag of some sort… As I kneeled down to look at the opened page… I screamed in horror after seeing a naked hispanic man revealing his pee-pee… The heading of the page was named “This is Pedro”…
After screaming in horror, I clipped in and sprinted away…after thinking IT WAS ALL OVER, I was riding by MORE AND MORE PAGES OF GUYS WEENERS!!! it was like a nightmare!!! I couldn’t escape it
Yesterday…during a stop ahead sprint (that of course I won) I spotted the ULTIMATE!! Get ready folks…how do I say this…a “Prosthetic Vagina”? That clean enough? This was just sitting there in the grass on the side of the road…“face up” as it would be…not sure how I spotted it at the speed I was going…but something drew my eyes to it…
I believe it’s brand name is the Pocket Pal. Honestly, the only reason I know this is from a trip to SF with my sister to purchase a wedding dress and we dared each other to walk through the numerous porn shops. When we saw the Pocket Pals we wondered what does someone say when asked where their wealth came from if that was their business. The item, though, that sent us back out to the streets laughing hysterically was the inflatable sheep, female anatomy included.
Well…we have all seen things on the road, nice things, bad things…mostly you see beer bottles, cans and general trash that idiots like to eject from their NASCAR sticker laden cars at at 65mph. Last year a buddy spotted some dirty magazines…what made this special is that #1 it was only men riding…and that he had spotted them down a hill, across a small stream, and in some grass - at about 20mph (of course he had to go back and inspect further).
Yesterday…during a stop ahead sprint (that of course I won) I spotted the ULTIMATE!! Get ready folks…how do I say this…a “Prosthetic Vagina”? That clean enough? This was just sitting there in the grass on the side of the road…“face up” as it would be…not sure how I spotted it at the speed I was going…but something drew my eyes to it…
Now, what have YOU seen? I think mine takes the cake though…(and yes we touched it but we had gloves on)
Chip,
You seemed to have left out the ending to your story. The part where you swiftly applied the breaks and yelled “It’s mine…I saw it first!”
Once while pheasant hunting in Kansas, we came across an older car parked on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. Strewn all in and about the car were used condoms, women’s panties, whiskey bottles, and marijuana roaches. Some couple (or more) had one heck of a PAR-TAY. I guess they probably ran their battery down and had to walk back to town. I wonder why the girl didn’t bother to put her panties back on, though.
Two sailors once decided to make a little money on their aircraft carrier by purchasing a couple of these “devices” and renting them out for $10 an hour. The first sailor was counting his receipts for the night and had made $80. He asked his cohort how much money he had made. The second guy only made $10. When his buddy asked him why he had only made $10, he said, “The first guy I rented mine to was a Marine, and he ate it.”
Inflatable sheep? NOW you are talking. Baaaaa.
It would be a hassle to inflate it every night. I would rather buy the stuffed version for a few dollars more and during the day it could simply become part of the decor of the house.
