My doctor, BTW, is also a cyclist.
Doc: “You need to drop some weight”
Me: “I signed up for both Vineman 70.3 and the Death Valley Ultra Century. I’m starting to train for those, so any accumulated baggage will drop off.”
Doc: “I’ve been told that the Death Valley ride can be challenging. Crosswinds, you know”
Me: “Crosswinds!?! Those are the worst kind of wind!”
Doc: “Just remember you can always drop out if you’re tired.”
Me: (long pause) “Have you met me?”
Drop out if I’m tired. Pfffft. Nothing short of shitting my pants* is going to make me quit.
Also, I’ve got a campsite for the Spring ride and there are two vehicles allowed so if any of you are registered and want crash space, I can have one more vehicle in my campsite. Only if you’re quiet.
Edited to add:
*Please don’t interpret that as a dig at Jordan. He rode for a long way after having intestinal distress and officially qualifies as a badass. Me? At the first sign of anything even remotely resembling a shart, I’d wave down the broomwagon faster than you could sell steroids to Floyd Landis.