You gotta love stupid, drunk criminals…
“Be warned, if you are in Alaska and you spot a man walking down the street with a spork, do not think twice. Call the police. Call the National Guard. Call a friend with a gun to take this bastard out.
According to the Associated Press, police are investigating an armed robbery in which the robber tried to hold up a man at “spork-point.”
Police have actually arrested a suspect, but have not determined if the man used a spork during the robbery. Police officials have said that even though they have arrested him, Colonel Sanders is cooperating with authorities.
The robber tried to grab a man’s watch by slashing at him with a weapon. The victim said he pulled out a pocketknife but police said the wounds are more consistent with that of a spork. I smell a future “CSI” story spinoff.
The man was found several blocks from the scene drunk and carrying several sporks, which along with wearing a “FBI: Female Body Inspector” t-shirt and holding a burrito like a cigarette is consistent with being drunk in public.”