My wife doesn't really race these days apart from the occasional 5k or Tough Mudder but was a competitive swimmer when she was younger and does some kind of training most days. Good points are that we both understand the other's need to train, both keep in good shape, kids are following our example and getting into sport, etc.

I'd say the only real down side is that with young kids we can't really train at the same time since one of us needs to be with the kids, which does mean that by the time we've both fitted in our training at different times we don't see that much of each other on some days. Looking forward to being able to train together again or at least at the same time as the kids get older.

Can’t speak to marriage as I’m not at that stage of my life yet, but my current long term SO is a non-athlete and she just thinks I’m crazy. She’s pretty understanding/fair about when I need to take time to train, but she definitely doesnt understand when I get up early to train or don’t want to cancel sessions or have long days on weekends. I do my best to balance and there’s a good amount of give and take. All else equal I would prefer to date someone who better understands the lifestyle but that’s not super high on my list of qualities I look for in a partner.

My wife was a competitive swimmer and now acts as my swim coach. She has become quite a good little runner and started cycling a couple yrs ago. Has done some Tris and qualified for AG national first time out:)~
Wouldn't change a thing. It's great!

My wife got me into this crazy stuff. We both started about 5 years into the marriage. It was great when there were no kids, we'd do our long runs "together" (as in out doing the runs at the same time, we were not the same speed). Now that there is a kiddo, it is much tougher. She understands the need to train consistently, but it is still hard to choose to go for the ride when the toddler is having one of her days, or one of them is sick. The flip side of this is my little girl loves to come outside and run while I am running. She will run around the neighborhood (with mommy in tow) trying to find me. Pretty big pick me up when I'm in the middle of a long day.

I definitely think it has been easier because of our mutual hobby, but I'm not sure that should be a reason to choose a mate.

wife is a non athlete

This is a HUGE challenge that I have to mentally work through. I have to find the mental will to get up and train when I know its going to be a challenging workout AND get past the gauntlet of "stay in bed with me/lets go eat pizza/do your workout later" etc etc .

The wife does the same as I: swim/bike/run/row.

I could not imagine—dating, let alone—living with anyone who does not seriously train and compete in some sport. Doing the same sports just makes things a lot easier. We train together (maybe same location, sometimes the same workout) 50-75% of the time.

Down side: two (or four or eight) of everything gets expensive. But no kids makes it manageable. :)

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no sponsors | no races | nothing to see here

My wife is a runner and swimmer snd has done triathlon in the past. She never really liked the cycling. She has a series of injuries over the past few years but still does some running races.
To help keep peace in the house, I do at least one run and swim with her each week.
I think it is good to have a spouse or significant other who runs, swims, bikes or all three.

My wife is an athlete. She was (is) mostly a runner, did some tri, and now is a crossfitter.

Pre kids we trained a bunch together. Once we started a family is was mostly a tag team affair until the kids got older. Now we are back to weekend rides and runs together.

My wife (of 32 years) is not an athlete. She goes to the gym semi-regularly, but . . .

1. Disadvantages: She is extremely supportive but, at the end of the day, she doesn't really get it. I let her serve on my support crew on a 200-mile bike race once. Only once. No conflict. She just wasn't very helpful. To be fair, she's never been a competitor in the heat of battle. She didn't really know what was important and what wasn't. I think she's been to a total of two of my races in 3 decades. And that's okay. She's got her thing, too.

Advantages: She is extremely supportive. She prepares all my on-the-bike foods for races of over 150 miles. She alters our household schedule to fit my training plans. She understands my need for competition and encourages it. She might not know much about my racing, but she supports it because it is important to me.

2. If I had it to do over again? Even though training and competing occupy a portion of 6 out of 7 days of my life (7 out of 7 if you count my recovery days) . . . athletic competition is a small thing compared to all the other things that make up a life and a relationship. I think it would be nice for us both to be racers, MAYBE, but could she be as supportive if she had her own training and racing to think about? Probably not. My wife is amazing. She is vastly more important to me than athletic competition. I'm a fanatical racer and trainer, but I would give it up in a heartbeat if it impacted my relationship with my wife in a negative way. I know that I am blessed and I never take that for granted. So, no . . . I wouldn't change a thing.

My wife is not an athlete/competitor but does enjoy generally working out (gym classes and light running). She has been nothing but supportive about what I do. But, importantly, I'm equally supportive of her hobbies and we give each other the space necessary to enjoy them guilt-free.

1. The wife and I are both triathletes. We came to the sport after we were married. However, we both play hockey in college before we were married. The challenges are that I want a lot of training time and we have two young children and both work full time banking jobs. The awesome thing is, my four year old has started to do "Bricks" off of her bike (yes training wheels) almost every time she rides. Its a couple of laps around any obstacles she can find and then she is off for a run. She repeats this for 10-45min at a time.

2. If I were you I would DEFINITELY look for someone who is active in triathlon. Not only will they be healthier with you...you will have a shared interest and understanding. You would be crazy not to look for someone like this. There are plenty of fish in the sea for you to be picky.

My girlfriend of 9 years now is a Cat2 roadie and a runner. She understands the fact that I NEED to get out on my bike a lot, not just to train for racing but to keep my sanity. I also love fishing, and she's into that as well. She hated time trials, now I have her into them and she did quite well last year. I enjoyed setting her bike up and making her fast on it. It's great having someone that doesn't get pissed off if I decided to ride an extra hour, of if I'm 4 hours late from a fishing trip because the Bass were pushing Bunker on the beach in front of me.
I've cut off a few long term relationships because my gf at time though they could ''change'' me. If we broke up tomorrow I wouldn't date anyone else that didn't have some kind of hobby that they could do on their own. There's nothing worse than a Stage 5 clinger type of girl....been there and never again.

Haha this is all great answers.
To the guy who's wife played Hockey in college? Woo don't get on her bad side.
Seems the answers are about 1/3 have non athletes and 2/3 do.

To clarify - I have experienced both and the second question wasn't geared toward me looking for a significant other. I was just wondering after X amount of years of marriage if you would do it differently based off the relationship you have. Sadly, I can only really tolerate active people - athlete or not - ex any sport really. I don't understand lazy people (scratch my head).

It is nice to see that all the spouses are supportive though and that it works two ways.

I was actually surprised to see that some people got into it AFTER marriage. Pretty intense sport to get into later down the road haha

LucahLibre,

Well, we were BOTH hockey plays...so I knew what I was dealing with.

As far as getting involved after marriage it was pretty simple. We have two children and we want them to be active. I tell my daughters all the time that they have to be competent at 5 active skills.

1. Running
2. Biking
3. Swimming
4. Climbing
5. Skiing

I tell them that if they are able to do those 5 things they will have zero physical obstacles to stop them from going anywhere and doing anything. I want them to be YES people and to get out and enjoy the world in front of them. As much as triathlon is for me and my wife it is as much for the kids. We need to set the example of who they will be. That's why I was stressing having someone who is active in ones life. That person is going to be more than just a partner to you.

haha your kids will be unstoppable with those 5 categories. My parents stuck me in gymnastics at a young age. I got the balance, power, coordination, air awareness, and everything else that has helped me in every sport I have ever tried. Kids will certainly be going into sports, BUT if they find they dislike it - I am ok with a book nerd kid who possibly cures cancer as well.. long as they are healthy

It was my girlfriend's idea...

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Washed up footy player turned Triathlete.

The wife and I are both triathletes. She’s a strong runner so our run training is together. Bikes are both on the trainer and outdoor race prep rides are done alone. Swims are usually at the pool together but doing our own thing.

Having both in the sport is super expensive. Double everything. It also made chores suck. We wanted to train and it was really tough to meal prep and such bc we were both busy. Not a lot of time for anything else.

We have a 6 mo old now so things have changed a bit. She isn’t working so she gets some of her training done during nap times. Others is dropping the kid in child care at the YMCA while we work out. All in all though, I wouldn’t want it any other way. That’s the thing we do together and we’re both into it so we get it.

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Team Zoot - Great Lakes

I grew up running and swimming. On the morning after our wedding I got up and went for a run on the boardwalk in AC before she woke up. When I got back she was sitting there watching TV and asked where I had gone. The next day I got up to go run and she woke up and asked if I do that every morning. That afternoon we bought her running shoes and clothes. She got about 200 yards down the boardwalk that next morning. She eventually became a 5 time Boston qualifier, as well as an automatic for NYC 3 years in a row.

When I hurt my knee 25 years later and started swimming she wanted to go with me, only she didn't know how to swim. A few years later when I bought a bike and started doing triathlons it took her about 6 months to want a bike and wet suit.

She is now an Ironman Chattanooga and Wilmington Full distance finisher, along with a dozen or so half IM's and other distance races.

We have now been married 35 years, kids are gone, and our lives pretty much revolve around athletics, although not at the pace we used to do it. We can't swim together because she will never be near me in that area. On the bike we will go for a ride together sometimes when I'm recovering or just feeling lazy. Running we are pretty much equal except when I'm racing or doing speed work. Otherwise we can do all of our long runs together and talk.

Note that she did no competitive sports growing up and never learned to swim until she as 45 years old. She married an athlete and decided to adapt instead of sit on the sidelines.

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"...the street finds its own uses for things"

That is awesome! haha what a catch! Did your kids get into it at all? I mean based off the willingness of mom and the athleticism of both of you...?

Looking back, we probably screwed up as parents in that area. Both of our kids ran USA Track and Field as U12. After that we allowed them to walk away if they wanted and they did. We never managed to pass the "bug" to them even though it was all they knew as kids. Maybe some day they will start again. Both were reasonable runners, they just didn't have the drive.

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"...the street finds its own uses for things"

My wife was a 2 time All-American and National Champion in Volleyball in college. She is currently a collegiate volleyball coach.

While she doesn't sometimes get the whole Ironman thing she does understand and respect the commitment involved in competing in the event. She is very supportive and I couldn't ask for more. She still has the killer instinct and knows what it takes to win. I've never been as successful an athlete as her but she supports me no matter what!

It is awesome that she has the mentality of an athlete and she even helps with my mental training, recovery and other non 3 disciplines things we all need.

The wife and I are both triathletes. She started running when we were dating and got me hooked on endurance sports. Since then I've qualified for Boston and do 3-4 70.3's per year. Our relationship wouldn't be near as strong as it is without running and triathlon, I consider myself extremely lucky to get to experience the sport alongside my wife. Otherwise the biggest benefit I would say is she is pretty much ok with me training as much as necessary (we don't have kids yet). It's also fun to go on cycling trips and do races together. Biggest challenge - it makes the sport twice as expensive!

My Bride and I are both Triathletes, and she has completed about 10 IM races et. al.

We train together often and we always have a ton of fun - :-)

The only thing I made a promise to us both - is that we will never race the same IM!! - I am the bike wrench and trying to put two bikes together etc - was challenging - and beside we are on each others course supporting all day.

Cannot wish for a more fun and fulfilling life.. :-)

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Graham Wilson
USAT Level III Elite Coach
http://www.thewilsongroup.biz

My Girlfriend is a Cat 1 XC MTB'r and Cat 2 on the road. When we met she was only beginning riding and was into triathlon as well. She ended up racing in Kona a few years later then we both decided to move to cycling specifically.

I really appreciate this aspect because we can spend a lot of time together riding and going on adventures.

We set out to complete Cape Epic together last year. That was a trip of a life time and getting to share with with my girlfriend was amazing.

The challenge is that she is so damn strong. But this is also a good thing because we can ride together.

I'm not sure what it would be like being with someone that didn't share these interests. I'm pretty happy with being able to share endurance sports with each other.

jake

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Get outside!