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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [Consultri] [ In reply to ]
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I wish I could do Tri still... but I can’t do it ( 3 kids under 3)

I switched to only riding my bike, Zwift racing and 1-2x / year road race. With 6ish hours of smart training / week I’ve gotten myself pretty fit. An occasional long weekend ride is my “treat”

Pretty sure being an exclusive runner would be less time commitment, but not as social for me, so I don’t do that

But my next time I need to cut training time I’m going to shift to 100% running
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [mvenneta] [ In reply to ]
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I am having my first child in a few months...deciding to switch to exclusive running for the 2H 2018 season after doing 1 HIM this year


my thinking is such: competitive Runner + social "fair weather cyclist" + never swimmer = good blend of competition / fitness + joy of riding + joy of no swimming

Also - i will focus on "controlling the controllables" as my college coach used to say - AKA DONT GET FAT..will focus on trimming and trying to maintain race weight throughout the year

with running you can be very competitive on 5 hours a week, maybe 7-8 hours peak, but nothing compared to tris.

JUST RUN!
Last edited by: Peterszew: Apr 17, 18 12:02
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [alexZA] [ In reply to ]
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alexZA wrote:
When the kids go to college.

Assuming you can get them to go away to school. And stay away.

***
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [Feighathlon] [ In reply to ]
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This is all good info.

I became single and thus could afford a super expensive bike and thus could train for hours on said bike and add in runs and swims and henceforth started racing again. I did it backwards haha

Im 29 and dang - yall got wifed up early!
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [mvenneta] [ In reply to ]
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mvenneta, any idea when you'd be able to return to Tri? have you talked to your spouse about it?

Really appreciate all the insight, both from the "keep it consistent" crowd and the "dial it back" crowd. Part of my reason for asking for responses from the pointy end of the 35-45 AG is that I feel there's a trade-off between pursuing my own self-interest of finding out how fast I can go / qualifying for WC and being the responsible parent.

Obviously one take priority, but looking back at my own father, he played golf 3-4x a week, got really good, and even took a year off of work to get his handicap below par (really impressive). I know we all want to "be there" for our kids, but I honestly don't think I missed out on much with my dad and we have a great relationship now. I wonder if pursuing my "selfish hobby" would be inspirational to my son?

Any thoughts on that?
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [Consultri] [ In reply to ]
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As others have said, communication with spouse is key. Also, getting them out of the house to do things that they want to do that helps them stay sane works well.

I personally have found that when the kids are babies, they're actually a lot easier to manage with training, especially when they can hold their head up. Our kids spent a LOT of time in the bike buggy going somewhere, or in the runner going somewhere. That way, the kid has daddy-time, but I also was able to get training in.

As the kids get older, I am finding that it's harder, at least until they get old enough to ride with you if that interests them. We just bought my oldest (15) an almost cross bike (geometry is not quite a cross and not quite road) that is more road oriented, and am REALLY looking forward to introducing him to the addiction.

However, it will be difficult as we have another 4 kids and they're each an investment.
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [Consultri] [ In reply to ]
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Consultri wrote:
mvenneta, any idea when you'd be able to return to Tri? have you talked to your spouse about it?

Really appreciate all the insight, both from the "keep it consistent" crowd and the "dial it back" crowd. Part of my reason for asking for responses from the pointy end of the 35-45 AG is that I feel there's a trade-off between pursuing my own self-interest of finding out how fast I can go / qualifying for WC and being the responsible parent.

Obviously one take priority, but looking back at my own father, he played golf 3-4x a week, got really good, and even took a year off of work to get his handicap below par (really impressive). I know we all want to "be there" for our kids, but I honestly don't think I missed out on much with my dad and we have a great relationship now. I wonder if pursuing my "selfish hobby" would be inspirational to my son?

Any thoughts on that?

The hard reality though, is that it's sort of a crapshoot as to what your kid will take to, ESPECIALLY in the <10 years where their attention span is really short.

I assumed that my daughter would naturally be interested in all the 'exercise' I do since I do it so regularly and tell her about it whenever she's interested, but she didn't seem to get at all inspired until this year, and it's VERY modest. (She likes running now, as opposed to hating it as when she used to be the slowest girl in her class.)

Also, another hard reality is that your young kid WILL miss you if they're awake/conscious while you are working out. Sure, they'll grow up fine, not be maladjusted, etc. from you not being there, but they WILL miss you, and will complain to you about it - I literally miss a grand total of 2 hours per week from actual family time per week and my daughter will still say "awwww, do you HAVE to go?!"

My tips:

- The most important tip for me: PRIORITIZE SLEEP and RECOVERY. Yes, this will be literally impossible in months 0-6 of your infant. Still, prioritize it, it's that important.

- Next most important tip for me: Short workouts can be legit! 30 minutes at threshold pace or interspersed with VO2max intervals is a legit workout. No, it won't substitute for a long IM bike training session for IM racing, but you'll def pump up your speed and fitness with short but hard 30 minutes. I find that even the wife and kid can tolerate 30 minutes of workouts (closer to 45mins with shower!) and you can squeeze in 30 mins a lot more easily than 60 at odd points during the day.


- AM workouts are probably the only time you will have to yourself for over an hour. That said, I simply don't work out well in the morning, and I'm an early riser! I just can't seem to get the same oomph (not even close) that I do if I do the workout at a normal hour, even if I go to sleep super early. I do the easier longer stuff 1-2x/wk in the early hours, and save the hammerfest short stuff for lunch workouts.

- Lunch workouts and even bike/run commute workouts are great - make 'em count!

- You may have to dial it back from IM/HIM to Oly/sprint "A" races. The good part is that Oly/sprints are just as fun and competitive, and don't think you'll be training less hard just because you do less hours - the less hours means you gotta crank it up! I actually think for AGers, this volume training is MUCH more appropriate than the typical hours needed to perform well at HIM/IM.
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [Feighathlon] [ In reply to ]
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Feighathlon wrote:
Coach and I are scheduling a down week after my first born popped out a few days ago. 2 70.3s and 3 Fulls scheduled for 2018. Wish me luck!

You may as well get your divorce attorney picked out and ready to go......
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [T3_Beer] [ In reply to ]
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I'm on about 12 hours/week training for 70.3s. I have two kids 9/8. I'd love to break into top 3 for my AG, but any more hours starts affecting family time. I'm doing a full in December and will take time off work to train otherwise I things at home could be tough.
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [Feighathlon] [ In reply to ]
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After my first born I had two weeks off and then returned to training. The wife wasn't too impressed and words were had. I scaled back my training a bit and became a lot more flexible. Basically had all my kit ready to go at short notice and any time both the wife and daughter were down for a nap I would get a training session in. I managed to maintain my fitness this way but certainly didn't make any improvements.

By the time my daughter was a couple of months old she was sleeping through the night which made things a lot easier on everyone and I was back to work. At that time I was training in the afternoons and my wife was less than impressed again as there wasn't much time left over for family time.

I started training early in the morning and at lunch. It was tough at first as I am not a morning person. Now I have a pretty reliable routine of 5am starts.

Two days a week I commute to work on my bike, taking the long way to make it a 2 hour ride with an extra 30min on the way home. Lunch times are for swimming. Another weekday morning I do a shorter distance run. Long distance run on a Saturday and a brick workout on a Sunday.

In a couple of months my wife will be having number 2 and things will get tricky again no doubt. I expect that until baby number 2 is in a good sleep routine, I will just be grabbing quick workouts here and there and will at best maintain my current fitness but more likely slide backwards for a bit. Hopefully after a couple of months I can return to more serious and dedicated training.
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [Consultri] [ In reply to ]
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Consultri wrote:
mvenneta, any idea when you'd be able to return to Tri? have you talked to your spouse about it?

Really appreciate all the insight, both from the "keep it consistent" crowd and the "dial it back" crowd. Part of my reason for asking for responses from the pointy end of the 35-45 AG is that I feel there's a trade-off between pursuing my own self-interest of finding out how fast I can go / qualifying for WC and being the responsible parent.

Obviously one take priority, but looking back at my own father, he played golf 3-4x a week, got really good, and even took a year off of work to get his handicap below par (really impressive). I know we all want to "be there" for our kids, but I honestly don't think I missed out on much with my dad and we have a great relationship now. I wonder if pursuing my "selfish hobby" would be inspirational to my son?

Any thoughts on that?

I may be in minority, but i don’t (in the foreseeable future) ever expect to get back to ~15 hours / week training which I did for 5 straight years. And if i can’t train properly i won’t plan the big races just to do them.

I’m selfishly prioritizing my time with them vs training

It’s not only the training hours that get me ... I could technically do that early in the AM. I get up at 430 most days. It’s the necessary sleep / recovery, time with my wife and the extra hours with the kids that I miss. When I was 24 I could sleep all day on Sunday to recover after a hard week - that’s not possible anymore

So For me I’ve chosen to pretty much only workout while they sleep. That means I give up on tris. I still run anytime we travel or I’m off the bike .. and get pretty competitive on the bike... but no swim and no lofty IM goals. Just go have fun and sweat a bit

And every time I wake up and see 3 big smiles, or hear them yell daddddyyyy when I come back inside , I know I made the right choice (for me)
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [Consultri] [ In reply to ]
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I haven't read all the replies but do some sprints and oly's. You can get back to IM's in 15-20 years.
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [mvenneta] [ In reply to ]
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mvenneta wrote:
Consultri wrote:
mvenneta, any idea when you'd be able to return to Tri? have you talked to your spouse about it?

Really appreciate all the insight, both from the "keep it consistent" crowd and the "dial it back" crowd. Part of my reason for asking for responses from the pointy end of the 35-45 AG is that I feel there's a trade-off between pursuing my own self-interest of finding out how fast I can go / qualifying for WC and being the responsible parent.

Obviously one take priority, but looking back at my own father, he played golf 3-4x a week, got really good, and even took a year off of work to get his handicap below par (really impressive). I know we all want to "be there" for our kids, but I honestly don't think I missed out on much with my dad and we have a great relationship now. I wonder if pursuing my "selfish hobby" would be inspirational to my son?

Any thoughts on that?


I may be in minority, but i don’t (in the foreseeable future) ever expect to get back to ~15 hours / week training which I did for 5 straight years. And if i can’t train properly i won’t plan the big races just to do them.

I’m selfishly prioritizing my time with them vs training

It’s not only the training hours that get me ... I could technically do that early in the AM. I get up at 430 most days. It’s the necessary sleep / recovery, time with my wife and the extra hours with the kids that I miss. When I was 24 I could sleep all day on Sunday to recover after a hard week - that’s not possible anymore

So For me I’ve chosen to pretty much only workout while they sleep. That means I give up on tris. I still run anytime we travel or I’m off the bike .. and get pretty competitive on the bike... but no swim and no lofty IM goals. Just go have fun and sweat a bit

And every time I wake up and see 3 big smiles, or hear them yell daddddyyyy when I come back inside , I know I made the right choice (for me)


As a guy with a big close southern family and 2 nieces (no kids for me yet)...this is - hands down - the quote of the day.
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [LuchaLibre] [ In reply to ]
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I won't respond to the whole thread but will just tack on to that last bolded part. Woke up to change my 3 month old daughter this morning at 4:30. She peed on herself, so I changed her then she started smiling and laughing. Needless to say I stayed awake to hold her until she fell back asleep. I got my run in at 6 but didn't mind waking up that early at all.

As far as training time, my wife and I have figured out some sort of a routine with my coach so I know MWF I swim before work then run or bike after she gets home from work. But there are plenty of times I just sit and hang out with her because she is pretty dang fun right now! I am also "only" training 10-12 hours a week now. I will let everyone know in a few weeks how my racing is off of that training.

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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [jrielley] [ In reply to ]
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^ Ive never changed a diaper haha nor am I a father so i can't quite grasp that concept. Albeit all my buddies and such are the same way. Hard men but the worlds most intense softies.

Look at all these slowtwitchers having soft sides. I wonder how bad this thread would be if it were on LetsRun haha
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [LuchaLibre] [ In reply to ]
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It really is amazing what a little one can do to people! Especially a little girl! She has me wrapped around her tiny little fingers already.

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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [Consultri] [ In reply to ]
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To be honest I think it depends on how the kids sleep (mine sleep great), how you sleep (I'm an early riser) and how flexible your job is (mine is very flexible). If you have all these things in your favour there isn't any reason to stop.

My wife and I have a weekend morning each, otherwise I need to be done training and home by 7am on weekdays or 10am on my weekend day. There is lots of time to train if you, your wife and kids can live with these stipulations.

I've always treated my training as an activity to be hidden from the family and aside from a late morning on the weekend there is nothing I do that would determine I've been training.

From a training perspective there are few easy days. Quality everyday, whether it be long distance or short and intense.

Ken


"the trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight." - Slowman
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [redtdi] [ In reply to ]
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redtdi wrote:
To be honest I think it depends on how the kids sleep

This! I think a lot of people here are forgetting how terrible infants sleep. Just about the time you have the sleep pattern figured out, BOOM: 9 month sleep regression. Once you figure that, BOOM: Cold and can't breathe well or eat. Oh and if you miss a nap, your next three days are figuring out how to get that sleep back in.

If you can't function on a daily basis when you are woken up several times a night, don't plan on training for any races.
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [Consultri] [ In reply to ]
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This is now 15ish years ago given the kids' ages are now 17 and 16.

When my eldest was born, I stopped training completely. Not because my wife wanted that but because in my moronic mind I was thinking, "OK, must be the responsible parent and focus on the kids." This lasted about 1-2 months and EVERYONE was miserable. I was tired all the time, not because of the middle of night diaper changes and feedings, but because I wasn't doing anything physical. My wife said, "You are miserable, you need to start training again!" She later said training and racing is part of who you are, its in your DNA. I'm blessed with the family I have!!

Once I got back into training EVERYTHING clicked. I had a better temperment, more energy, more focus, I got more chores and errands done. I talked this with a guy during the White Lake Half IM back in '04 and he said it really well, "I'm a better husband, father, brother, son, boss, coworker, neighbor and friend when I'm active." Once training again, I'd take any of the 2am or later diaper changes/feedings and then get my workouts in after that. I had more energy and never sacrificed family time for training time. Family time was the top priority. Training was secondary. I just fit the training in when I could. I didn't worry about missing workouts and didn't worry about structure.

I signed up for the 2002 IMWisc race when my wife was pregnant with our 2nd. On the date of that race, we had a 2 year old and a 6 month old. My training volume was ~50% of what it had been previous BK (before kid) years. I hadn't participated in any (sprint, Oly, 70.3, full) triathlon the two previous years, but felt like I had enough "life experience" w/ previous racing and training that I would do OK and survive the race. I wasn't out there to race on race day, I was out there to enjoy the day, participate with friends, and enjoy the privilege of doing this kind of thing. I didn't wear a watch because I didn't want to get sucked into trying to finish w/in a certain amount of time. I did use a HRM on the bike to make sure I dialed in an appropriate effort. I didn't see a race clock until I exited T2 and out loud said, "Holy Sh*t!" To my surprise I was 30+ minutes faster than the time I shared w/ my family if I was having a dream race day. It didn't feel real that day. Right out of T2 I had spring in my steps and didn't even feel like I swam or cycled before that. I ended up setting a PR by 50 minutes and missed KQ by 1 place (and KQ was never even a remote goal).

You can absolutely do this! But flexibility is the key. Don't worry about missing workouts, don't worry about having to cut workouts short. Set modest goals knowing that quality and quantity of workouts will be impacted. I will add there was one exception to training being secondary to family time. About 5-8 weeks before IMWisc (and 5 years later, IMLou), I would do a three week mega mileage block. So I scheduled vacation days to fit in the training. I hated these big mileage weeks because it was pulling me away from the family. It was harder emotionally than it was physically. There were family trips to the park that I would miss or things like that. The training felt "obligatory" rather than the usual joy and privilege. But I felt it was necessary so I wouldn't go out on race day and get injured. Anyhoo, just enjoy the journey, don't force things, and let the family be part of your journey!

So to directly answer your questions:

How old were kids when I returned to training: 2 months old
How did I stay in shape during layoff: I didn't and I was miserable and tired all the time
How did your spouse react: Favorably, she's the one who encouraged me to get back into it


Tad

It took awhile, but I finally discovered that its not the destination that's important, but rather the journey.
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Re: When to return to triathlon after starting a family [Consultri] [ In reply to ]
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I'm currently training for my first 70.3 with a ~9 Month old at home (Our first). Wife isn't into tris or any other training. We're traveling to Ironman Raleigh and then taking a family vacation afterwards (part of the sales pitch).

As others have said, Mornings and...for me, actually doing late workouts are working (10pm or later) well. All trainer rides, which is fine. Fortunately I have a pretty flexible job schedule and I work from home 2x a week, so I can actually do long sessions on those days while the baby is at daycare.

With that, I also try to take my day off/recovery day on Sundays. Wife seems to appreciate that I don't have to jump out of bed early both days on the weekend.

For what it's worth, I find that following a specific training plan, helps me structure my time and I can prioritize everything in life a lot better than when I am not. With that said, you have to give yourself some flexibility when structuring your plans, and expect there are going to be some weeks or days that just don't go as planned.
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