I'm probably just fueling this BS fire but I feel the need to quote the great Jeff Spicoli.






"YOU GUYS ARE FAGS!!!!!!!"



edited to add:

... Not biting! :P

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"Wow, are you a triathlete?"
If spoken by a non-swimmer, that's a compliment. When spoken by a swimmer.... -glitch
My wife's blog http://www.hostilewit.com

Wow. Righteous.

How did you put his picture in there?

I think that would be perfect

this thread is possibly the most un-funny attempt at humor that ST has ever seen.

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Team Medique Powered by Silber Investments

If there is ever a poll or award on the forum for the biggest dipshits, least funny, greatests wastes of time, dumbest topic, most likely to take something un-funny too far or least likely to entertain / inform anyone...I think we have our candidates.



In case you ladies really do love your plants, that is fine by me. I find the ones we have around our house excellent targets for dip spit and beer piss. They seem to love it.

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ADW

I fucking love this thread.

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"Oh man, it's going to take days to kill all these people!" - Jens Voigt

Arrangement is a whole new huge subject. I agree with your instincts. Whatever you do... stick to odd numbers of plants... be aware of the light needs of the plant. Think balance (I think you already know that judging by your asymetry comment). If you can raise the ferns above the floor... especially boston ferns with hanging fronds... it is good IMHO. It also helps the plant to avoid being eaten by a cat or a small child if you ever get a cat in the future.[/reply] Cliff. I think I glossed over this the first time. I forgot that you wanted me to keep odd numbers. I was thinking that symmetry required pairs. I guess there could be symmetry with a triangle or hexagon. What was I thinking? Are odd numbers really that important? Can this be the root of our problems?[/reply] Jeff... been away for awhile. Doing some work. The odd numbers thing is one of only two things I remember from a landscape design course I did for a year. The other was the Liberacci ratio and numbers. Apparently they have done surveys or something... and found that odd numbers of plants looks better than even numbers. It looks more natural or something. I usually take this a step further and prefer plants with odd numbers of branches and odd numbers of leaves. I don't bother counting the leaves on a fern... but will count the fronds. Ficus trees are difficult because they lose leaves a lot. If it isn't in a central position... I usually leave it with even numbers of leaves because a leaf will naturally fall off pretty quickly.

And balance is not the same as symmetry. Symmetry you want to avoid. Balance has more to do with overall silhouette mass being balanced along a wall. So if you have a ficus at one end of the wall... you want to have other plants (or furniture) that balance that mass at the other end. Symmetry would be getting another ficus to balance the wall. That doesn't look right. Your room will start to look formally man made... like the matching lion statues on each side of a staircase.

The Liberacci ratio is about 0.62 or near to that. It is the ratio of numbers that are side by side in the Liberacci series. If you ever want a plant to fill a vertical space... then use the Liberacci ratio to let you know how high to make it. It has something to do with the ratio being a common proportion in nature... like the ratio of width of spirals in a seashell or snail going outwards... or the ratio of male genital length to length of one's feet. The Liberacci numbers (and series) are 1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34,55,89,144,233... etc. You'll notice that any number in the series is the sum of the preceding two. A lot of things in nature... like the number of seeds in the middle of a daisy or sunflower are always Liberacci numbers. Also the number of petals. If you can use Liberacci numbers... it looks more natural and pleasing to the eye.

And btw... Cusack got 780'd. You probably know about it. Relief. I think he was set up. Voldey has just left the position vacant. I think he's got a few of his assists filling the gap.

Liberace was a famous piano player. Fibonacci numbers are what you are attempting to describe. Hehe. :)

Any plant that is getting more light or more attention from you that they can see is susceptible to suffering from envy. There is a bit of conjecture about this. Some say that plants don't have eyes and can't "see". But there is also plenty of research to suggest they do and it's hard to refute. Plants can tell where light (and especially the sun) is and will grow towards it. And in high winds, the leaves and branches in trees will almost always point away from the direction of the wind. They may not have eyes in the traditional sense... but they can sense the radiation that we similarly sense allowing us to "see".

From my experience... plant envy is real. I have noticed plants improve without moving them when I remove another plant that has been getting more light and/or attention from me... and is in it's field of view. And like humans... it does vary from plant to plant... so I think socialization would help, but it is hard to achieve at home. And the plants are usually too old as well to learn new ways. I have found rotation to be the best method of avoiding it. It usually isn't a factor that one notices. But in severe and mysterious cases of plant bad health... it's uncanny how often a plant rotation or swap can solve the problem. If you're lucky... the other plant has a less sensitive and more confident personality and doesn't react with the same level of envy... and you don't need to keep rotating.

I think you should apologize to the ladies for that remark. It is pretty unkind to FLA Jill, Sarajean, MonicaB, and Crystal Ball that you would attack them like that when they haven't posted on this thread for many pages. As far as I'm concerned... you could have attacked me instead as I've been talking about plants a lot as well. I think you are a Miss Sodginess. And calling yourself a one time sanitary pad is sheauvinistic too... as well as highly unsanitary advice.

But I do think it's a silly rule of this forum that makes it compulsory that everyone HAS to read EVERY POST on EVERY THREAD even if they don't like it. I'm just being sarcastic of course. You are not a gentleman IMHO. Unless you were being sarcastic? Which if you were... then I suppose those ladies will be grateful for your compliment. And I apologize.

I was about to correct you and looked it up first... and found that you are right. I must have had some brain flatulence or something. I apologize. It is the Fibonacci numbers. The Liberacci numbers are songs he plays. Thanks.

That is a good idea. As the ceiling fan is a constant air flow that can torture the plants. Just so long as when you turn the ceiling fan on... you can't feel any moving air when you stand anywhere in the room ... then it will be fine for the plants. You should be able to use the ceiling fan like normal then without it hurting anything... the ferns especially.

Piano, math and plants. Pretty talented guy.

Hi Jeff. Liberacce was one of my role models growing up.

I am sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I was thinking that I didn't want to offend you when I wrote this. I will be more careful next time. Sorry.

By the way, do you ride the dimpled zipps? That is so cool. I am thinking about upgrading to the dimples. Do you recommend it.

For the socialization, should I keep rotating them so they get familiarity with all of the other plants? How often? Or should I just find a nice arrangement where there doesn't appear to be conflict and keep it. I am thinking that there must be a good balance between socialization and plants bonding with each other. I am not sure that my hunch is supported by data.

Jeff... he wasn't referring to you... he was verbally abusing the ladies in the thread. Not a gentleman.

I don't think you need to socialize the plants... Jeff. Although it may turn out to be a masterstroke. The big risk is that one of the plants is dominant and bullies the others. In most cases... plant envy isn't too serious. I would just go for your best arrangement... then keep a close eye on any plants that look like they are suffering and are not in the ideal areas of the room for light. Try moving those plants to the position that is best in the room... and give it extra attention with massages and talk to it etc. The plant should respond. Keep an eye on the one that you've moved from the ideal area. If it doesn't get jealous... you're fine... leave it. If it does... you need to move it back to the good position with the other plant and move another. Don't let the two plants' leaves or branches touch though as there may be some resentment still. Hopefully the the third plant that you move will be strong enough in character to accept it's demotion in the light and attention hierarchy. Perhaps give it a touch more attention while it's settling in... and don't be overt and demonstrative in your displays of affection for the other plants. Hope this helps should there be an issue.

Jeff - have you got most of your plants? When you get the room set up... could you perhaps take some pics or at least describe the arrangement and plants? I'm very curious to see how this finishes up.

Hey thats a relief. Cool.

This thread was just mentioned at the cyclingnews forums as some classic trolling. I have to say, it is some funny stuff and I only got a few pages into it.

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"Remember: a bicycle is an elegant and efficient tool designed for seeking out and defeating people who aren't as good as you."

--BikeSnobNYC

Asparagus ferns grow well (almost impossible to kill) so might be a good place to start?

How about motivating posters and such? You don't have to water them :-)

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TriDork

"Happiness is a myth. All you can hope for is to get laid once in a while, drunk once in a while and to eat chocolate every day"

Would love to see an updated photo of your fern training space. I have a "love fern" which my wife and I watered at our wedding. I've watered it maybe twice in the last 18 months and it just won't die no
Matter how hard I try to kill it. My kid is helping however, by occasionally pulling off large sections. I'd get a cat to eat it, but I hate cats. I have no idea if it's a Boston or some other variety.

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"It's nice to be great, but far greater to be nice"

I just read this poem and HAD TO come here to post it, immediately

One Lonely Afternoon
by Russell Edson

Since the fern can't go to the sink for a drink of water, I graciously submit myself to the task, bringing two glasses from the sink.
And so we sit, the fern and I, sipping water together.

Of course I'm more complex than a fern, full of deep thoughts as I am. But I lay this aside for the easy company of an afternoon friendship.

I don't mind sipping water with a fern, even though, had I my druthers, I'd be speeding through the sky for Stockholm, sipping a bloody mary with a wedge of lime.

And so we sit one lonely afternoon sipping water together. The fern looking out of its fronds, and I, looking out of mine . . .

You're welcome ... or, I'm sorry; whichever works for you

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin