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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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And the gazelle only really has to outrun the slowest gazelle too :)

Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. - MattinSF

Basically they have 9 tenants, live life to the fullest, do not turn the cheak, and embrace the 7 deadly since. - TheForge (on satanists)
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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One more addition.

"Depth Charge" - This is a physics professor at OSU (and looks the part to a T of the nerdy physics guy) that has coke bottle prescription goggles so he wears them from the locker room. He's somewhere in his 50's, mostly bald, pale as a ghost, and strong as hell (seen him lifting). His swim stroke is something to behold. He is cranked over towards his right side like he has some sort of massive cramp, his left arm never breaks the surface of the water on his recovery, he takes almost 60 strokes per 25m (yes, I counted from the hot tub), he goes slower than slow ( I once saw him move backwards from the current as he approached the wall and people on both sides did a flip turn at the same time), but most importantly both feet come completely out of the water and come back down in a thunderous boom that sprays water to the ceiling with each kick. He clears out the seats where the parents are waiting on swim lessons from the spray. It is great to see people who don't know him the first time they go to share a lane. But impressively he will keep this up for well over an hour. The lifeguards asked me one time if he had a stroke sometime and had lost function, but if you've ever seen him lift it is obvious he has no physical impairment.

I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [sleepy] [ In reply to ]
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"You must flip out on Halloween"

Halloween is creepy, even if you're NOT scared of pumpkins!

My running club is sponsoring a kids' race on Halloween this year - a 1 mi fun run before the trick or treating will start. I'm helping out with that, then handing out candy.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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Sorry to rain on your parade and to be unoriginal while doing it. May I suggest the following amendment?
Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the gazelle, or it will starve.
It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle:

WHEN THE SUN COMES UP, YOU'D BETTER BE RUNNING.

This should suffice in keeping nitpickers such as myself at bay.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Arch167] [ In reply to ]
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Awesome. Thanks. I'll go change it.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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When I lived in Chicago and used to swim at the Y there, there were kooks galore. I kind of miss them. One of my favorites was Turtle Lady. She wore one of those flotation devices for aerobics or aqua jogging, but still "swam." It was sort of a breast stroke thing. She also had a huge swimmer's mask and nose plug. When she got about 8 feet from the end of the lane, she would do this floating/bobbing thing with her belly in the water but her legs and arms turned upwards. She kind of became a flailing human buoy. Very interesting.
Another one of my favorites was a guy I called Butter Knife, because that's what he used to shave with.
I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one to name all the freakshows that I see at the pool.





Partially-Hydrogenated
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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Actually, it doesn't need to outrun the fastest lion. It has to outrun the fastest lioness and also avoid being led into the trap that the rest of the pride have laid for it. But most of the time, the gazelle only needs to stay within the protection of the herd, it just has to keep up with the rest of the gazelles. The lion will prey on the old, sick, or injured.

But that isn't a really good tagline, is it?

Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [slowbern] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
....dives in and swims an entire length underwater. Takes a 2 minute break then repeats from the other side. The whole time, you can smell him and his stinky cigar from about 15 yards away. After about 15 minutes of the underwater routine he begins to do laps of modified elementary backstroke (modified because he windmills his arms out of the water). Then he gets out and takes a 20 minute shower, which totally pollutes the air in the locker room with his stinky cigar smell...
LOL!! thats just to funny:)


------------------------------
Another IM in 2016 - hopefully..
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [bigskyTi] [ In reply to ]
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[reply]We also have the [b]Bull Seal-[/b] This guy is pushing about 350lbs but can MOVE through the water. I have no Idea how he does it.[/reply]

Hahahaha, I trailed a Bull Seal for a while in the GFT last weekend. This guy was huge, but boy could he move! For a while at least. He also had the highest kick known to man, so it was fairly easy to keep track of where he was going. After a few minutes the incessant wandering over the course annoyed me too much and I passed him.

BTW-I have the same lion/gazelle quote on the back of a shirt I got from RunTex in Austin...I'll have to look at it and see what it says. I think it says gazelle outruns the fastest lion, and the lion outruns the slowest gazelle. Not sure though...but at least it makes sense.


Mad
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
"50 Yard Guy"...this dude's workout consists completely of 50 yard intervals, followed by what seems 1 minute+ of rest. Now, he looks really good in the water, and kicks my ass when I try to keep up with him on his 50 yard interval, but he must have a helluva base to do so little actual swimming. I've never seen him go longer than 2 lengths, ever. Spot
Stop watching me swim!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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There also are some strange citizens at the pool which I use.

First there is "Floppy." His stroke consists of raising his arms above the water and letting them flop back at random points. Then there is "Side Splitter." He only swims side stroke lap after lap. Next, "Transparent Man and Transparent Woman," two people, unrelated, who wear swimsuits so old that they have been rendered see-through. This is not a pretty site in both cases. "Slow Lorris" does as his name implies. He swims for a long time, 1+ hours, but in that time doesn't get very far. "Miss Fit" is very buff and does workouts while blocking out all outside distractions. "Territorial Man," as his name implies, is confrontational when asked to share a lane. "Procrastinator" stands on the deck for 15 minutes while screwing up the courage to jump into the tepid water. And finally, "Tubby Guy Who Is Fairly Slow"--- no wait. That's me!



OK, I confess, the last TWO are me.



Lou Battaglia

Why didn't I retire last year?
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Btag] [ In reply to ]
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Ah yes, I almost forgot..."Stare Down Person"....they look at you with glaring eyes when you ask them to share a lane, as if you are asking the most unreasonable thing they have ever heard in their lives. How dare you ask THEM to share THEIR lane??

Spot

___________________________________________________
Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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[reply]Ah yes, I almost forgot..."Stare Down Person"....they look at you with glaring eyes when you ask them to share a lane, as if you are asking the most unreasonable thing they have ever heard in their lives. How dare you ask THEM to share THEIR lane??[/reply]

what kind of pool do you swim in that

1) has enough lanes to actually have some with only one occupant (vs the usual 5+ here, I think I've seen up to 20-25 people in a 50m lane at peak times, with only =two= lanes total available (one for floaters, the other for everybody else), good practice for tri swims for sure)

2) doesn't have 'no questions asked' circle swimming in effect? (as in, you get to a lane, jump in and start swimming, no asking required)
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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I forgot to mention "Rhythm Girl" She swim slow as molases and every time her one foot kicks, it make a huge thump, the water almost hit the ceiling. Her timing is uncanny, every single time the exact same temp.

Or how about "Workout Changers" They pay and swim masters and ALWAYS change the provided sets. I'm not doing that???? Why do they come? These are the one that insist on putting in at least twice the amount of calories they burned off at breakfast after swim

We had a deep water guy in masters years ago. He's come to masters, actually a good swimmer, but go to the deep end and go up and down for abou an hour. Not sure what happened to him.

In college we had "Perfume Lady" She actually donated a lot of money to our program, but she would open the door up at the top of the bleachers and we would choke from her perfume. Had to be nice to her.

How about "Weird Instructer" She teaches a class of those Hippos in the back pool and insists that everyone in the entire area leave the pool deck cause it will distract the lesson. I get upset with that one since the hot tub is in there.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Arch167] [ In reply to ]
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reminds me of the following:

two photographers are following a pride (?) of lions in Africa when their jeep breaks down. The hungry lions notice and begin to approach the men. One of the men starts changing his boots to his running shoes. His colleague notes this and points out that there is no way he will be able to outrun the lions. In reply the man says, "Dude, I don't have to outrun the lions, I only have to outrun you".

At my pool we have the:

only swims breast stroke even when its busy and has sharp toenails but also is super cute and wears a bikini girl

and the

this is a public pool and I will swim as slow as I want in this lane guy
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Marco in BC] [ In reply to ]
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We have 3 lanes marked off in a 25-yard pool at my local YMCA. At 0630 in the morning, there is almost always at least one, and normally 2, lanes completely open. I have yet to have to share a lane with anyone. On weekends it gets a lot more crowded so that you might have to circle swim.

Spot

___________________________________________________
Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [More is MORE] [ In reply to ]
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I just wake up and go running. It makes me happy :D

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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There is also the "Will not let you pass guy".
There is a guy at my pool who frequently swims in the fast lane even though he does not belong there. I swim right up on his feet without tapping them hoping he will wait at the wall. He does not. So I do this routine a few times until I finally tap his feet while approaching the wall to request to pass. Still he won't let me pass. Finally, I have to swim right down the middle of the lane to pass him. Then he gets out of the pool before I can give him an earfull.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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just wake up and go running. It makes me happy :D


AMEN!
Afer 15 years of competitive swimming, I hate that damn pool, yet I love the freaks. Go figure.
Last edited by: Mojilnir: Oct 24, 06 13:15
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [last tri in 83] [ In reply to ]
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We have the 300lbs+ water aerobics lady most mornings but she is very welcome by some of us because she brings a boombox and has some pretty good music going for her workout...

We also have "ultra competitive middle ager" that tries to dust you while you are going kick drills...

Peace

______________________________________
"Bros b4 Hos, man" House MD

Team Aquaphor 06-08
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [triguynj] [ In reply to ]
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[reply] Or how about "Workout Changers" They pay and swim masters and ALWAYS change the provided sets. I'm not doing that???? Why do they come? [/reply]

Oh dear - that is me sometimes. I get stubborn and want to get my drills in, or don't want to do fins, or whatever. I try not to change the workout if it will disrupt others in my lane. But still have a huge stubborn streak about masters, for some reason.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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This thread is kind of depressing, because now I know who I must be on all the swim forums out there:

"cut, looks really fit and fast, but swims like he's carrying one of those atlas stones on his back guy" - probably a triathlete
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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I know she's not dating me for my swimming ability, that's for sure.

I am "guy who looks like he should be a good swimmer but isn't." I have a swimmer's body but a duathlete's swimming talent.



Portside Athletics Blog
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Marco in BC] [ In reply to ]
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The Y by my office I use during lunch has 6 lanes open all the time and if they fill up they will get another guard and open the other 2. I have shared a lane only once and have never seen anyone circle swim there. At the Y by my house it gets little crowded in the morning and I often have to split a lane but hardly ever have seen 3 people to a lane. Guess I am lucky, who knew?
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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Two that come to mind...

"The Snake" - no idea how he manages to make any forward progress, as all of his body motion is side-to-side. Kinda resembles a big pink sea snake in a black speedo - and he always wears his locker key around his upper arm, so you can kinda hear it clinking against the metal plate with the locker # on it underwater.

"The Pear" - this guy has got to go at least 400#, with most of it settled in his ass. No, I'm not busting on him for his size, in fact God bless him for doing something relatively active, but he is the most rude and inconsiderate person there. Our pool gets deeper across, rather than lengthwise (e.g., lane 5 is deep, lane 1 shallow). Seems that lane 2 is the only one with the appropriate depth to buoy his girth, and God help you if you happen to be swimming there when he shows up. He thinks nothing of trying to grab your leg to get your attention while you're in the middle of a set. If you ignore his attempts, preferring to wait until you finish whatever you're currently doing, he will park his enormous ass at the end of the lane, forcing you to stop. Even if all the other lanes are full, he thinks nothing of asking you to move so that he can do his thing (which consists of strolling back and forth in the lane while staring at a HRM - the chest strap for which is completely engulfed).

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"The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare" - Juma Ikangaa

http://www.litespeed.com
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