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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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I've never actually shat myself running, but have had a whole heap of almosts. Especially when running in urban areas where there aren't trails that I can just duck to the side of.

I once just straight up knocked on somebody's front door and asked as politely as I could if I could use their toilet.
It was a bit of a lottery, as I had no idea who was going to answer or what their house was going to be like inside.

Luckily I got away with some very funny looks (they let me poop in their house).
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [noofus] [ In reply to ]
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ahaha I've had a similar experience. I was out doing a 5 mile lunch run (right on the IMTX course for anyone who knows the area). I started and stopped from market street area (very public and lots of people) just off the course by transition. At about mile 2 it got hit with the stomach gurgle. I figured I only had 3 miles left in the run, I can make it to the end of my run before I need to go. As I was running the last quarter of a mile along the sidewalk by market street, I got hit with the same "NO FUCKING WAY WILL YOU MAKE IT". Only problem is I was standing right in front of a high school/college couple out for a nice walk. I had to literally stop there and withstand the worst stomach pain of my life just holding it in. I got some funny looks but the pain was worth not crapping my pants in public. When the pain subsided, I did a funny waddle-run to the closest bathroom I could find after that.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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Dude, I have too many stories of this and they are way to graphic for the internet. Only available in person, usually when coupled with a beer or 3.

My stories usually start with:
1) So this one time before a hard brick, my buddy and I go to Ikea and eat Swedish meatballs with gravy...
2) So before my long run I realize I haven't eaten yet and decide to eat a couple of slices of pizza that were left out overnight...
3) So half way thru my run I decide to drink a muscle milk....
4) I can't believe I was only 10 feet from my bathroom door....
5) For some reason I decided not to wear socks or bring wipey's with me...
6) While being a vegan for 2 years, I once ate a large amount of fruit salad with a lot of pineapple before a long run...
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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This thread makes me very thankful that I am pretty regular and don't have a story to add. I've been relieved to make it home a couple of times but that's it.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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Funny this came up. It happened to me two days in a row in exactly the same place when I was visiting Scotland a couple of years ago. Dived in a hedge and had to avoid where I'd shat the day before.
But 3 days ago I was running my normal route and I just couldn't hold it in. There was nowhere to go without knocking on someone's door, but I remembered a small area of woodland not far away and prayed I could make it there. I did, just. But in my hurry to whip my shorts off and squat down, I didn't notice I was squatting on a red ant nest. Bit the shit out of me. Very unpleasant experience.

---------------------------------------------------------
___________________________________
"I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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I've never done it but I'm just waiting for it to happen. I live in Mississippi and my runs take me by a lot of wooded areas so whenever it does hit, hopefully I'll have a place to go.

The best pace is a suicide pace, and today is a good day to die. -Steve Prefontaine
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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Your long run pack should consist of: water bottle, gu pack, wet wipes, 5 bucks.

we learn from our experiences!
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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Not me, but a friend (really).

There was a 10k loop he would do, and on this loop, about half way, was a port-a-john.

He starts his run, passes the port-a-john, but then feels the immediate....need. He turns around and uses the port-a-john.

There was no toilet paper. His choice was to run the rest of the way in crap-filled shorts or to use his shorts as toilet paper, I guess.

Oh...wait...there was a third option. Reach into the waste and re-use some toilet paper that someone else had used.

Yeah...he picked the third option.


Chris Harris
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [fe_dad] [ In reply to ]
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fe_dad wrote:
Not me, but a friend (really).

There was a 10k loop he would do, and on this loop, about half way, was a port-a-john.

He starts his run, passes the port-a-john, but then feels the immediate....need. He turns around and uses the port-a-john.

There was no toilet paper. His choice was to run the rest of the way in crap-filled shorts or to use his shorts as toilet paper, I guess.

Oh...wait...there was a third option. Reach into the waste and re-use some toilet paper that someone else had used.

Yeah...he picked the third option.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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This is why I LOVE running in the country. Plenty of bushes, ditches and other cover to scoot into to take care of that. On my common routes I have a number of Poo spots.

NCCP certified Comp coach
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [Liaman] [ In reply to ]
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My wife shits in the woods as part of every long run. She carries toilet paper and it's just part of her routine.


Chris Harris
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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afrizzledfry wrote:
Tell me an embarrassing training/racing story so I feel like less of a freak. Oh, and have a great day!


A few years ago after Kona, I was out at Huggo's on the Rocks with a few friends celebrating. I had been having some stomach discomfort for a couple hours after the race. I stood up from our table to head to the bathroom and got real lightheaded and ended up passing out on the sandy floor (MarkyV was there - maybe he can chime in with the particulars of that part of the incident that I don't have memory of). Anyway, when I regained consciousness one of the first things I remember saying was "I gotta shit."

Everyone that had surrounded me while I was on the floor cleared an immediate path to the head. I half stumbled/crawled/ran to the bathroom and didn't quite make it. Code brown. We're talking Level 5 alert code brown...no mistaking what had just happened if you were watching from behind.

I ended up spending the next 30-40 minutes sitting in the bathroom with an alternating member of our group to keep an eye on me while someone else went out to buy me a new pair of shorts.

Upside is that I felt great once that was over with and had finished on the AG podium at Kona. Down side is that I passed out and shit myself and was ordered to head back to the condo early.

_________________________________
Steve Johnson
DARK HORSE TRIATHLON |
Last edited by: darkhorsetri: Jun 11, 15 8:28
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [fe_dad] [ In reply to ]
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I am literally stunned into silence by this thread.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [patsullivan6630] [ In reply to ]
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patsullivan6630 wrote:
I am literally stunned into silence by this thread.

Yea? I've been silently laughing this entire time.

I only cycle; I hate running.

But honestly, I always make a poop before going out on a ride. Always. If I don't, I have to go during the ride. Which means bringing the bike in the bathroom with me or leaving it outside of a Subway or something. While I'm pooping. Covered in sweat. No sir.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [FlacVest] [ In reply to ]
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This isn't like...a regular bowel movement from normal digestion, people are apparently regularly liquefying the waste in their colons while they run. I mean...people have designated "poo spots"...I must not be running hard enough.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [patsullivan6630] [ In reply to ]
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patsullivan6630 wrote:
This isn't like...a regular bowel movement from normal digestion, people are apparently regularly liquefying the waste in their colons while they run. I mean...people have designated "poo spots"...I must not be running hard enough.

Yea that kinda disturbs me. Every runner has had the emergency scenario come up at least once in a while. However if this were a regular occurrence I would think some sort of change in diet would be in order.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [ChrisT] [ In reply to ]
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I've destroyed two pairs of running shorts since I could t make it to bushes in time. I've made countless trips to the bushes. Even stopped in an elementary school. I walked in the office and just said bathroom. They laughed and pointed. Thank god they didn't make me fill out paper work.

_________________________________
The curious task of economics is to demonstrate to men how little they really know about what they imagine they can design.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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I think I sharted once but not enough to say I "shit my pants" ... I remember running the rest of the way still wondering if anything came out.

I did take a shit right next to the Brentwood Country Club here in Los Angeles mid run. Imagine a very very populated area with heavy traffic (but more of a suburban feel than an inner city one). The country club sits on a big plot of land with a 2.1 mile dirt track around it. I literally had to shit so bad that I just squatted outside on the track... luckily it was at night.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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I remember the day this happened to me. I will never forget it.

I had eaten Mexican food before my run. I was only planning on doing 6 miles. The lake near my house has a nice paved 3 mile run loop through the woods. The first mile I felt fine. The second mile, I could feel some gas building up. The trail is saturated with people. By people, I mean lots of women and a few men. A 10:1 ratio almost. A lot of these girls went to the same university I did. Here I am at mile 2 and the bathroom is located at mile 3. My stomach is furious. It was unhappy that I had given it such delicious Mexican food and then I bounced it around for 2 miles.

I felt such an intense pressure in my bowels. I tried to fart it out. It was such a huge pressure relief. Trying to fart while running around a bunch of girls and moms is not an easy process. Stealth farts only work for a bit.

The pressure is now gone. I'm jogging again and suddenly my stomach just punches me hard and goes, yep, it's time for you to take one massive shit. I was terrified. I'm at mile 2 with 1 mile to go. There's people everywhere.

My first thought is jump in the lake and just let it out. But then, that would look weird. People would be wondering why this random guy is in the lake. I tried to walk. Have you ever tried to walk while holding back a massive flood of shit? I looked awful walking and the looks people gave me let me know they knew. They could see the terror in my eyes.

I was looking for my girlfriend. I was hoping she wouldn't find me in such a bad situation. I tried farting to relieve some pressure and felt some slippage. Fear turned to panic. I knew I wouldn't make it.

I stopped walking and stood looking at the lake. My stomach was making horrible noises and I was in pain. People were passing me oblivious to the shit storm that was coming.

Then, I saw the tree. THE TREE. The one tree that would save me. I walked fast up to this glorious, wonderful tree and it looked big enough to shield me from the runners. I had a quick decision to make. Do I unload on this poor tree or keep walking and hope for the best? I timed it just right. There weren't any runners around me that would hear the coming battle between me and my stomach.

As the pain hit me again, I dropped my running shorts and destroyed that tree. I heard people coming and thought "Why me, why today, of all places"? I was terrified someone would see and recognize me in such a vulnerable state. I unleashed everything I had on that poor tree as fast as possible. Then, I looked up and saw the people in the house in front of the tree.

I couldn't tell if they were looking at me or if they even saw me. I mean, it's pretty hard to miss a guy in a white running shirt with black shorts just shitting on your tree in your yard. I felt amazing. I pulled my shorts up, covered up the giant pile of poo with leaves and sticks and jumped back on the trail which was literally 3 feet away.

All is good I thought. I figured I had ruined my running shorts and that people could smell the horrible leftovers that may have skidmarked my shorts. My strategy was to run as far to the left and right as possible of any person I came around on the trail. I would give them at least 2 feet in hopes that wouldn't smell me. I'm sure I looked ridiculous as I ran off and on the trail trying desperately to find my girlfriend and get to my car.

I'm now about 0.25 miles away from the poor tree that was left to suffer. I was happy, carefree, and laughing on the inside about what happened. At that very moment, my stomach said HELLO AGAIN, IT'S TIME TO FIGHT!

That's when fear turned to panic once again as this pain told me that I had seconds to find another tree. I was sweating bad. This train of poo was coming, and it was coming fast.

I saw 2 guys and 2 girls grilling out on their back porch. I said to myself, "well, you have already pooed on tree on a public trail in front of someones house", "go ask to use their bathroom"

So I ran up to them trying to hold back the poo train. I said "Hi, my names Bryan, and I have to shit really bad. I just shit on a tree in front of someone's house about 3 minutes ago. Can I please use your bathroom or I'm going to jump in the lake."

The guy looked at me confused at first and the women were horrified. He goes "quick, this way." He ran to his bathroom and showed me the way. It was the most beautiful toilet I have ever seen in my life.

The guys dog chased me to the bathroom and was clawing at the door. I heard him growling and sniffing as the poo train left the station rapidly. I'm pretty sure that toilet will never be the same again. The dog took one big sniff and he ran away outside. Dog problem solved! I finished up and went back outside and told them "thank you for letting me destroy your toilet. I'm pretty sure the Hazmat team should be called and FEMA might call this a disaster zone. Please don't go in there for a bit, even the dog couldn't handle it" They laughed so hard, shook my hand, and now after the 2nd most awkward moment of my day, I jogged back to the trail with a fresh, clean butthole.

I found my girlfriend at the 3 mile mark. She goes "Where are you, I've been looking for you". I said, "We need to leave, RIGHT NOW!"She was confused and we jogged to the car. We get inside the car and she said "What's wrong, why did we have to leave so quick" I then explained to her the 2 Code Brown situations and how we must leave immediately.

She laughed so hard and I told her we would never again speak of that day again.

That's my code brown story. Every time I run that trail, I pass that tree and laugh because I never in my life thought I would shit on someones tree in their front yard and then ask 4 people for a toilet all in 1 run.

No more Mexican food before a run. Ever.

Make Inside Out Sports your next online tri shop! http://www.insideoutsports.com/
Last edited by: BryanD: Jun 11, 15 10:02
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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I thought crapping in the woods, ditches or strangers' yards in low light was the norm for running. I don't even think of that as embarrassing anymore.

~10 years ago I parked my car at the base of my driveway (Not sure why I went to the base instead of just outside the garage) to have room to work on my bike in the garage. I finally bought a pair of legit road pedals and shoes. While rolling down the driveway and looking down at my feet, I hit my own parked car head on (just as I looked up) and laid myself out on the hood with one foot still attached. There's really nobody to get mad at except myself, so I just chose to laugh along with my neighbor.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [BryanD] [ In reply to ]
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I'm sorry man, but that was the funniest damn thing I have read in a very long time. Extra points for so eloquently wording that story.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [IronSnowman] [ In reply to ]
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IronSnowman wrote:
I'm sorry man, but that was the funniest damn thing I have read in a very long time. Extra points for so eloquently wording that story.

x2
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [TylerJ] [ In reply to ]
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TylerJ wrote:
I've done it.

It's a badge of honor

x2.

Pink? Maybe. Maybe not. You decide.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry] [ In reply to ]
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I am not particularly ashamed of running into the woods for the call of nature, but what do you do if you are in a population dense area but no bathroom in sight?

Edited to add;

OK I just read BryanD's story. Now I know what I would do. Shit on a tree and then beg someone to use their bathroom.
Last edited by: nickwisconsin: Jun 11, 15 10:42
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [nickwisconsin] [ In reply to ]
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nickwisconsin wrote:
I am not particularly ashamed of running into the woods for the call of nature, but what do you do if you are in a population dense area but no bathroom in sight?

Edited to add;

OK I just read BryanD's story. Now I know what I would do. Shit on a tree and then beg someone to use their bathroom.

You could do what I saw a homeless guy in Hollywood do at 5:30 am on my way to work. Standing on the sidewalk, pants at his ankles, hovering over the gutter with ass to the street, just letting it out. All I could think was, "At least he had the decency to shit in the street and not on the sidewalk."
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