oooh... just a little late. We were looking for the 13th. You can make up for that though.

Wait a minute... what just happened here? lol

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I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

hahaha!

Too much boo hoo hoo-ing going on. :o)

We just livened up the thread.

Vancouver

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http://www.GetEndorFit.com
Personal Training and Sports Conditioning
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I have tried to explain that to Tracy more than once - should (god forbid) she be a burn victim, any physical disfiguration would not at all alter how I feel for her.

Love is Love...and to the OP, seems to me that there is no love.

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What if the Hokey Pokey is what it is all about?

Your family need help.

Go get some, please.

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Fortitudine Vincimus

You are great. He is a very lucky man to have you.
It may just be a midlife crisis he is going through. I hope he gets over it and learns to do things in Moderation.

So, no more sciatic pain I see. Sounds like your training is doing well (in all areas)

[the "American Way" of 2.4 kids, ...]

Since when having kids is the "American Way"?????

hehe.:)
I think I am funny (at least someone does)
Training is going very well. I even did a little race and tied my all time best 5k time, on a tough and hilly trail race!

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3x Leadville 100 (23:50) PR
Badwater 135 (41:24)
Lean Horse 100 (20:19)
Run Across Colorado 320 miles

I'm happy to report that all is well here in IronWidowland. After ignoring a suspicious reference to IronWidow over dinner last night, I broke down and confessed my identity this morning. My husband burst out laughing and exclaimed, "You're a legend on Slowtwitch!" I really do love that guy.

We had an excellent morning on the porch talking about this thread. (He had to skip his half-IM today because of a minor injury.) I so appreciate the compassion and perspective many of you have brought to the discussion here. Others of you, well, it sounds like you have your own issues to deal with.

I don't know if my Ironman will feel compelled to share his side of the story here, but I do feel the need to clarify a few things myself:
•I never said I was a saint, far from it. Among my character defects: I'm a perfectionist who tends to be hard on myself and others when my expectations aren't met. I'm impatient. I have a low stress threshold. I constantly fight my inclination to be a hothead and overreact to stupid stuff, including the state of my daughter's room. I can be thin-skinned and defensive. I obsess about my hair. I'm sure my husband could add a few things to this list.
•We do not have a Big Fat Lifestyle. We live in a two-bedroom, one-bath house and have done so for 15 years. We have one child. We own one little car. We don't take lavish trips; our vacation this summer was a house-and-car-swap with another family. I once turned down a job at the city's most appealing employer in my field to work from home and be our daughter's primary caregiver (to be honest, it wasn't a sacrifice; see the bit about my low stress tolerance). We go to a church where the emphasis is on service work and social justice. Etc., etc.
•We're in our mid-40s, this is my husband's first IM, and he was not an athlete when we met. He had been a distance runner in high school but was in the midst of a 20-year-break to pursue other, vastly less healthy obsessions that gradually took over his life after we got married. Hands down, I will take Ironman addiction over the things we struggled with during the first seven years of our relationship. Doesn't mean I don't get completely fed up at times. I'm no saint, remember?
•Finally, Hurricane Bob, your story moved me beyond words. Having coped with IF ourselves, I really felt your pain. Not a day has passed that I haven't looked at the Wondergirl and given thanks to the universe for the chance to be her mom. I can tell you feel the same way about your daughter.

And now...I'm going to do my best to HTFU and make it to IMOO with some style points. (See, I've learned your lingo; I'm trying here, people.) Your words of wisdom will help. If my Ironman qualifies for Kona, I actually will be thrilled for him. God help us if he misses by just a few minutes, though. In that case, no doubt, the IronWidow will be back.

Give it up Stu....

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Owner of a few Speed Concepts since 2011.

Much better....

Communication is the key. I'm glad some people could help!

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http://www.GetEndorFit.com
Personal Training and Sports Conditioning
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Well done. I wish I had your motivation. I rode for 72km (very hilly) I was so slow I thought I was going to rust. This Morning I rode in a cycle park and just drafted off some nursing home patients, I was able to keep up. It has been very cold here in Sydney but it is warming up and so I hope my motivation will improve. keep me posted on your races.

So how did your hubby's Ironman go? It's time for an update.

IronWidow Status: Registered User Registered: Jul 31, 08 5:50 Last Logon: Aug 13, 08 4:15 Posts: 4 (0.0 per day)

I wouldn't expect an update

Not unless she gets email updates when her thread is posted to.

I think you are reading my mind!!!! These are my thoughts exactly!!! How do I get through this and how do I get beyond this when so much damage has been done to our family life?? I/ we have 3 kids and he has been laid off! I'm working full time now while he trains and has the kids.

If your husband is laid off and training instead of trying to find a job, you got screwed.

That is one of the reasons I race so slowly! I save enough energy that if the girl handing out the finishers medals thinks I'm cute, I've got enough energy left to give a good account of myself! :-)

Mind you, I did manage to cramp up one time in the middle of a celebratory session after an IM and have to massage it out before I could continue.......but continue I did, even though trispouse was nearly wetting herself with laughter!

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TriDork

"Happiness is a myth. All you can hope for is to get laid once in a while, drunk once in a while and to eat chocolate every day"

I just wanted you to know I saw this post and thought to myself - I could have written this. There is nothing in this that is not spot on and shared by many supportive wives. But, I have a few things to add:

1. "And it keeps my mind off the fact that an Ironman is too busy and tired for sex." - for those simpletons who replied it must be her: Well, we know you are virile - you prove it every race! But, unfortunately, is true for many men and we the understanding wives live with this. I'm sure you are a beautiful woman! There are still some evolutionary traits that have not been passed down to all men. Sorry, these ones have access to a computer!
2. Those that replied that she should get off her lazy butt and join him - First, then who takes care of the house, the children, and him when he is injured? So, the fairy is going to support her and when she comes home from training there will be a meal, the house is clean, etc. so she can rest and recover? Please post where you get one of those fairies that takes care of everything - it would save a lot of marriages! Because you know he won't sacrafice one minute of his training time to let her succeed - don't even lie about it!
3. The lack of vacations - this one resonates so close to home. We have not had a vacation in years. It is a shame that most of the race locations are horrible tourist spots! On one "vacation" I took the kids to a dirty McDonald's playland and Walmart just to kill time while we were waiting. Those were the nicest spots! And, there is no money left over for anything else. I think a compromise would be every 5th year is a nice vacation spot - but then again, it isn't about the wive and kids - that is your point and you wrote it so eloquently.
4. You sum it up perfectly - I feel very taken for granted. I am proud of my husband too for his race performance. As a husband - not so much! He doesn't put much into the marriage! And, for those of you who reply - well, it is because he doesn't have a wife he is proud of - I'm willing to say that might be true. But you know what - I'm pretty sure it didn't start out that way.

IronWidow - I like you. You got spunk and sound like a winner! I hope your Ironman comes around!

Of course you do. You reregistered to bump your own 6 month old thread. I'd love to see the IP addresses that these were both posted from.

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

" On one "vacation" I took the kids to a dirty McDonald's playland and Walmart just to kill time while we were waiting. "
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Surely you jest!? Which IM did you go to that was that bad? I've done a LOT of IMs and have not been to the place you describe.

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David
* Ironman for Life! (Blog) * IM Everyday Hero Video * Daggett Shuler Law *
Disclaimer: I have personal and professional relationships with many athletes, vendors, and organizations in the triathlon world.

One of the excuses I use for being so slow at IM, is that I'm saving energy in case the girl handing out the finishers medal wants some special tridork luvin'

To recap lifes rules:

1. NEVER turn down sex
2. other stuff

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TriDork

"Happiness is a myth. All you can hope for is to get laid once in a while, drunk once in a while and to eat chocolate every day"

When you're 70...maybe? ;)

-Robert

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"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." ~Anne Frank

Words to live by...