I hear you. One option is to choose to be a "local hero" (if your locale allows it). There's this notion triathletes need to go to the big corporate events. But there's value in being really good at local sprint and olympic distance events. Maybe just pick one "marquee event" a year or so.

Triathlon is expensive, but not radically different from many hobbies. Think golf, radio control modeling, water sports (skiing, wake boarding, etc.), sailing, auto racing, photography, poker, etc. I have been into these or have had friends way caught up in them. The gist is that you always have to balance your hobby interest in the time and money you want to spend away from family. I know a few people who traded a hobby interest for family, and that is always a net-sum-loss.

So, if family pressure is telling you to pull back on time or money, then you probably need to do it. Find outlets in local races as others suggest or just do larger events that do not require major travel.

Agree with this, for me the cost of a event registration and “travel” is probably the smallest single component of my entire triathlon expenses

Maybe I’m lucky to live in an area where I can fill entire calendar worth of events all within a ~2 Hours drive -

And I tend to gravitate toward events where the sign up cost is under $150 as anything more than this seems ludicrous.

I am however doing my first travel race, St George Marathon, in October of this year- but sharing accommodations with some other runners.

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Clubs/Affiliations: The Rippers / Charles River Wheelers / Cambridge Sports Union

Draw up a real detailed budget of everything triathlon related and hand it to your wife and ask her to cut 30-40% off of it and see what she comes back with. Prior to giving it to her get a marriage therapist lined up.

Prioritize. Budget, Then build.

The problem that I see with most tri peeps, especially early in their sporting career, is that they want it all now. And that price tag to get it all now is overwhelming. Yet, most of the people that actually have the good stuff didn't start off with the good stuff. I did my first couple of seasons on an aluminum road bike with clip on aerobars. Then I started to save money to put towards my hobby. After a couple of years, I got a mid-level tribike. The next year, I spent on the fancy helmet and clothing. Later, I added race wheels. Later I added a power meter. I took about 7 years in sport before I had a ride and equipment that matched what year 1 me was ogling. After 20 years, I finally bought my 2nd tri bike, this time more high end.

Entry level/ Mid level stuff is still pretty good stuff. Figure out how to get the best bang for your buck and build your stash as quickly/ slowly as your budget allows. Tri will be here for a while. You have a long time to impress.

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Take a short break from ST and read my blog:
http://tri-banter.blogspot.com/

one word... racecation.

when you go out of town for a race make sure your family is involved for a good long weekend, and your race isnt the focal point. make the weekend about everyone going, and you just happen to be doing a race one day. thats a tough one because the time involved for a race can really eat up a big chunk of two days.

ive found doing this really eases the pocketbook and anyone else going with you can get a really enjoyable trip out of it, its not just you going and doing another stupid race.

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80/20 Endurance Ambassador

I try to pick races in locations that my wife will enjoy (especially if it entails flying). I get her buy in before signing up for any race. We make a long weekend out of it and enjoy the local attractions, food scene, and post race drinks. We’ve been to some cool places that I never thought we would visit or enjoy.

However, this will eventually add up on her over time (and I have a very supportive spouse). She desperately wants to go on a trip that doesn’t involve triathlon so we are planning a trip overseas (covid depending) next year for our 5 year wedding anniversary. Triathlon is a huge time suck and can completely consume your life if you let it. It’s all about balance and finding that sweet spot for you and your family.

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blog

I can't do it. If there's a race there, the race is the focal point. I'm too type-A to pretend otherwise. Plus it's hard to pretend that the location and time was picked "for the family." ("Hey let's go do a Zion trip! Oh wow, look there's this triathlon in St. George around that time...," gets me the instant side-eye from my wife.)

I do just the opposite. I go on low-budget commando missions, alone, for races. Save the real vacations for time and places that have nothing to do with middle aged men doing cosplay in spandex. I'm far more relaxed. And I'm giving 100% of my attention to my family and the activities involved.

My wife is a triathlete. We're DINKs and earn enough to spend what we want on the sport (within reason)
So, easy for me.

However, I've seen more than a few relationships ruined by sport obsesses spouses.... many of those in triathlon.
If you don't want to end up divorced I suggest you agree on a budget with your wife and stick to it.

Alternatively, bike fondos, run races and such are much cheaper than triathlon and can be a good way to get the competitive fix without breaking the bank.
I only do 1-2 triathlons a year now (and a few times ZERO) but make those races count.

I choose to mostly race local and mostly do independent races. This cuts down on cost a ton compared to guys I know who are traveling 4+ times a year to race M-Dot

I’ve done 50+ tri’s in the past 12 years and only 5 have been m-dots/nationals. I’m probably a bit lucky now as there are I think 8 races from sprint to half-IM distance within a 60 minute drive from me each season. When I living in Montana and only had 1-2 races close by I’d either just get up really early the morning of the race or camp the night before (or occasionally a cheap hotel). Not the most glamorous but it made it cheap.

As trail mentioned above you could limit yourself to just one major trip/race a year and do local (if you live somewhere that has races) to appease your appetite.

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Matt

I got all the expensive tri racing trips out of the way before I got married (at age 52) but it seems to me that a common strategy is to promise the wife that after you qualify for and race Kona (or substitute),. you'll cut way back on the expensive tri trips, unless, of course, the wife and family falls in love with Kona (or substitute). ;) Is that an option?

We are planning to travel to France this fall to probably my wife's favorite city on earth (Annecy) where I'll do a challenging trail ultra (definitely cheaper than doing an IM tri) and we've already negotiated how many days before the race we'll arrive and how long after the race we'll depart so we won't spend most of the trip with me totally focused on the race or too tired to do other activities. Before every big racing trip now, I inevitably spend some time day dreaming about when I'll go on a vacation and I won't care about anything related to racing/training other than running an hour or so from the hotel each morning as my wife gets ready for breakfast. I'm not there yet.

Annecy is awesome, its an outdoor mecca and beautiful town on the lake.

I as supposed to be back there last year for work but Covid hit just before we were to go. The ultra is on my list for some day, good luck

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Boots
Fleet Feet Rochester, NY
Fleet Feet Buffalo, NY
YellowJacket Racing, Rochester, NY

Mmmm maybe slightly off topic but if you can cut other cost that's helpful too. IMO every penny counts sometimes because this stuff does add up. And sometimes with the wifey it's about at least making the effort to keep cost down. I find I get in trouble more for the small stuff than the big stuff. Like hey we spent $20 on tubes. Another $30 on water bottles, oh there goes another $10 on a chain then it's a deal of just how much ARE you going to spend? But something as simple as patching a tube. Training in cheaper but quality jerseys. Using your equipment until it actually breaks (this is a big one). Do these and one day you'll turn around and realize you saved so much money it's like you have the extra put aside for a racecation... I'll also echo the thoughts about being good at local stuff.

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I still lapped everyone on the couch!

Triathlon is an expensive solo pursuit. Spend money on the bike, everything else is secondary. Race with cost in mind. No flying and pick 1-3 A races per year.

Racecations are a huge mistake. You're cheating your family. You're either going to a race or on a vacation. I've done it and been called out on it by my ex wife. That wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back as once she called me on it I booked a cruise and gave up the idea that a racecation was a family vacation.

Its only money, I work hard to earn it so why not spend it.

My wife LOVES some of the travel we do for races. Secrets Punta Cana a few years ago with a butler and swim out pool was an awesome vacation for a week with a Sunday race. (took a little over an hour) and drinking by 9 AM.

If you enjoy exercise, why not spend your money doing it?

France should be nice! Running is much more easy for travel. I got out of tri and started doing bike tours. First in the US, then suddenly Europe. Funny how that happens and expenses go up. I have a custom Ti bike with S&S couplers which packs as standard checked luggage, but still I am taking a bike which adds hassle. However, much easier than packing for tri. I will be cycling through Northern Spain and Basque Country this September after postponing for a year for some reason.

A married friend had planned a river cruise in France. He, the cyclist, got up every morning and departed the boat to cycle up river. His spouse enjoyed the cruise. They would meet at the next stop. Then he would clean up, they would go into town for sightseeing and perhaps dinner.

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"Remember: a bicycle is an elegant and efficient tool designed for seeking out and defeating people who aren't as good as you."

--BikeSnobNYC

I'm not sure if this is up your ally or not, but this could save you some money in the long run.
My wife and I have always been campers, and now that I'm a triathlete (term used very loosely lol) we have incorporated the 2 hobbies into one.
Our daughter comes with us on 90% of our trips, so they are race-cations. Instead of flying, airport fees, hotel rooms, eating out 4 times a day, we bought a camper and we drive to all of our races. Again, this may not be up your ally or even possible logistically etc.
We're in Ontario but have made the trip to Chattanooga, Muncie, Niagara Falls and many others.
Camp sites are cheap, you can stop whenever you need to for food, bathroom breaks etc. You can buy good food from the supermarket and not have to eat out for 3-4 days.
After the race is over, it's an amusement park on the way home or the zoo or a museum etc. It works for us as we were already into that, might be an option for you and your family.

Good luck!

Quinner

Don't assume your experience applies to everybody. My wife and I have been planning most of our vacations around races for 20 years and neither of us have any regrets.

My first IM was 2007. Fingers crossed, I'll be racing my 5th (well, one was Norseman) in Nov. 2021. Two of four very close to me (Madison, WI) and two far (Norway and Copenhagen). But my wife is from Denmark... so those were both baked into family visits). I plan on racing Arizona this November. And we are turning it into big extended family Thanksgiving.

I've been able to justify costs by spreading them over all these years. Have only had two bikes during this time. Two wetsuits. Etc.

But this suits me and my life - because I love the training more than anything, never wanted to race super frequently (as I think it's helped me keep from putting too much stress on my now 50 year old bones) and the vortex of starting businesses/young family over last 13-14 years wouldn't have allowed it.

So I figure - you can take the long view... still be in great shape, be super competitive (by always training)... but not have to shell out a ton of cash every year.

Quoted for truth......And we've had a great time at all of them.

From experience races require much more than showing up at start gun and finishing early in the day. It requires athlete check in, mandatory bike check, race briefings (now virtual), potential practice swim, checking gear, packing bags, travel to and from T1 and T2 before the event to get set up, etc. Not to mention the mental energy of being focused on preparation. I've known people to practice swim, bike or drive the entire bike course, hang at the expo, short runs for no damn reason, etc.

Some spouses will be toleratant, but don't fool yourself thinking it's that simple across the board. My current GF is also a triathlete, so no issue there but I'm not going to assume that a racecation is reasonable. A real vacation is time to spend focusing solely on your loved ones, not some bullshit expedition.

My ex and I had some memorable experiences as well, but looking back I realize that a race built into a vacation or a vacation built into a race is a distraction. Again, we had great times on racecations, but the race does take focus off one on one time.

Everyone's idea of a vacation is different though. Some people think drinking their faces off is a vacation, which is obviously another distraction.

We've been happily married for 35 years. I'll say it again, please don't assume your experience applies to me. I'm really trying hard not to be a dick but it's a little strange having a divorced guy explain to me how I'm cheating my family.

I agree with the point of becoming a local legend. My season typically includes 4 local sprint-olympics, 1 local 70.3, and finally 1 IM brand race out of state. The local sprints cost $60 to register, local 70.3's are $150 and if it's within 2 hours I sleep at my own house the night before. The only money I truly invest is one trip per season to an IM or 70.3 that is a big target race.