Serious pee-while-riding question:

I pissed my bike once and didnt like it. Went just in shorts, I don't wAnna be whipping it out. I think the main problem I had was that I don't shave my legs, and it all just stuck to my leg and went into my shoe. ALL OF THE PISS. WENT INTO MY LEFT SHOE. Some I could deal with, but all of it ending up there actually nullified the pleasure of peeing. None of it could bead off my leg bc of the hair. Shaving my legs not in the equation. Wife would kill me.

Any hairy legged pissers out there? Any way around this? I havent tried this since that horrific incident 2 years ago, have some 70.3s coming up this year and have to game plan and practice if I'm gunna get back up on the PISS horse!

I will never look at a used bike or trisuit the someway...ever again.

They wrenchs at my LBS put latex gloves on for all tri bikes...

I don't piss my self. I race road bikes or mountain bikes. On the road the race is short enough to not have to piss and mountain biking has lots of woods.

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Pactimo brand ambassador, ask me about promo codes

Put on fresh socks in T2. And for 140.6, another fresh pair in your special needs bag if you're still pissing yourself on the run.

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What are you people, on dope?

—Mr. Hand

Congratulations!...now your next test is to see if you can shit on the bike.
It does work best if you have someone to put a cycling cap under your ass to keep the shit from hitting the spokes (fan) ...pardon the pun.

I was riding behind Jan Raas in the Tour of Flanders eons ago as a neo-pro and saw him ride up beside Eric Vanderaerden and put a cap under his ass and watch it fill with shit. Took all of 10 seconds...back to racing.

coffee in the morning keeps me regular... double espresso ..do my bidness ..and I'm good for the rest of the day.

Put your wiener to the right that your shoes get even.

Shaving helps, compression socks doesn't, believe me.
It sprays better away on the run though.

I'm selling a used Orca Sonar wetsuit, 5 yrs old. Never seen liquid from the inside ;-)
Offers via pm

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-shoki

I definitely fall in the hairy leg realm. I just did not worry about it, altough after a bit I realized the reason it all went down 1 leg was because that was the straight leg when I lifted off the seat. Switch the down leg and it goes the other way.

I rinsed off after each time with a clean water bottle.

One thing that helps it from going straight down your leg into your shoe is to lean forward with both legs in the 3&9 positions, since they are bent some of it will not go all the way down into the shoe.

On the sock front that is a good idea, on the other hand I just left the ones on I had during the bike. Did not cause anything weird.

Wow, now it's getting into the technic haha.
By leaning forward you gotta take care of your clif bars waiting for fluids up in ya bento.

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-shoki

Almost pulled something cracking up while reading this and the ensuing comments. Afraid for the next post, on poo-ing. :D

I'm so glad this got resurrected. Not kidding at all. IMHO, this is one of the funniest threads on the site.

Now that this thread is back in the spotlight, I'd like to take a longer term view on this. Namely, I still have the same tri shoes that I raced both my last full distance events in, 2012 and 2013. The right shoe has a distinctly yellow tinge to it. The left does not. I dress to the right. Discuss.

The thing that worries me most is, right side is drive side. Perhaps I need to dress to the non-drive side, which I never really thought about before.

Laughed out loud that was so funny!

My story: When I was preparing for my first full IM, my training buddy was like, "Are you gonna pee on the bike?" And I thought it was some sort of a weird ritual, peeing on your bike before the race like some golden shower christening.

I eventually learned what he meant -- he later told me the story of him peeing/spraying on the downhill and passing a woman he knew. Oops.

Now I have perfected the routine. It doesn't seem too bad, I'm covered in sweat, melting sun screen, dripping Gu packets, drink from leaking aero bottles and some water poured over the head. Sometimes some bike grease and blood. Doesn't seem like a little pee is much of an issue.

Seriously, I have learned on this method that I need more Glide or Vaseline in T2 to minimize chafing.

I don't get it-are all of you that close to a podium that you are prepared to piss on yourself?

Some people are into watersports. It's not nice to kink shame.

Wouldn't peeing be the most sensible solution to the rampant drafting problem? (Wind direction dependent, of course.)

I think I’m gonna invent a new seat. Not only is there a cutout for your junk, but below it will be a funnel with a hose pointed out the back.

Sean H wrote:

I think I’m gonna invent a new seat. Not only is there a cutout for your junk, but below it will be a funnel with a hose pointed out the back.

Might as well make an adjustable directional gas and fecal projection nozzle while you're at it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDxfBX_DVE0

Speak for your disgusting self. Id much rather give up the 2 mins it takes to stop for a leak and keep my dignity, hygiene and regard for my fellow competitors intact.

Man, if only I sh!t myself on the bike instead of stopping I could have come 108th in my AG instead of 111....

Yeah if somebody gets sprayed they are definitely drafting. A good idea though is to take a quick look behind first.

I came here from the “ST all-time best/funniest threads??“ thread.

I wonder how many of the original posters are still ST regulars?

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"FTP is a bit 2015, don't you think?" - Gustav Iden

Edit: well I can’t read dates enjoy the flashback laugh. Also yeah, I don’t really remember 11 years ago but it’s not a wonder it felt familiar.

Is this response the result of 10 years of thinking about the OP's initial post? Because I'm sure you remember posting in this thread before, repeatedly? :)

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"FTP is a bit 2015, don't you think?" - Gustav Iden