not sure i buy that argument, you have to piss no matter what bike you are riding.

Somewhat off topic but this made me think of it. My college roommate peed on his friends mother when they were on a camping trip when he was a kid. Lost track of where he was after leaving the tent.

First time reading this thread, its hysterical. Although I've only made one attempt at pissing while riding, off the side of the bike and discovered that rolling hills in the maine backwoods are not the terrain to be learning this skill. Didn't piss on myself (or crash), but with the repeated aborted attempts due to reasonably steep uphills thrown in it probably looked more like masturbation at 18 miles an hour than an attempt at taking a leak to anyone watching (which, I hope, was noone).

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All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. ~Gandalf

Whenever I need a good laugh, I come back to this thread.

I did this today for the first time in nearly 15 years riding bikes. I guess I'm in the club now. whew!! I have been watching this thread for laughs, for curiosity, and had hoped to find some kind of information to help me do this during my upcoming IM next week. After reading someone's post recalling how Chris Lieto stands up and pisses to the side, I decided this was the way for me to go. I just didn't really want to ride 4-5 hours with piss soaked socks or shoes, and I thought I'd get a terrible rash if I pissed in my shorts. I think if I had to choose between pissing in my shorts and stopping, I would just stop. So today, I pissed 3 times. I saved up before the ride and it was windy and cold. I drank alot and didn't pee before hand because I knew I was going to try and practice. 2 attempts were successful and one was not, so here is how they went. First try was on a downhill about 20 mph, I stood up twisted my body to the non-drive side and peed right over my knee and it was perfect, with very little getting on my knee. I did however had to 'zip it up' as there was truck that came in behind me. So attempt number two about 3 minutes later because I still had half a tank on board! It really takes a while to pee while coasting on a bike, or should I say you need some distance to be able to finish. So the second attempt was a fail; for whatever reason, maybe the wind or not being turned enough to the side, I pissed all over my toe warmers and frame near the crank. Not happy about this experience, but it really wasn't gross. I just immediately washed it off and kept riding, but still had to 'turn off the faucet' once I realized I was pissing all over my shoe :-) The third attempt was the best , about 15 minutes later, going downhill again about 20 mph, I did the same thing as the first attempt and let fly a beautiful 400 yard long piss all over the middle of the road - -it was quite a thing to behold! I once again had to cut it slightly short because of another truck coming up behind me, but I know he had to have seen me and was probably laughing at me. It felt so good though! My training partner's only response was, "Look, I just cleaned my bike yesterday, so if you are going to do this, then make sure I'm in front of you, so I don't have to clean your piss of my bike". Done. Success at last. Since it's been getting cold lately and I've been told I have a 'tiny tank' I was hoping to be able to pee on the bike without stopping, as I may have to go 2-3 times per hour during IM Florida next week. There aren't any hills on that course, but I'm sure it will work with a bit of speed built up. All in all, a very successful training session. You can actually pee on the bike without making a huge mess. By the way, this thread is great; let's keep it going!

OK, but doing it off to the side in a race (especially one as crowded as IMFL) will be a different matter... not to mention the # of other riders in general, if you are 'shooting' off the non-drive (left) side, that will be directly at, or in the path of, faster riders passing you. You might do better to aim off to the right where there shouldn't be anyone overtaking you, but then there remains the potential issue of being flagged by an official for exposing yourself or otherwise unsporting conduct...

At least if you just go in your shorts, it's not quite so obvious from a distance... even if everyone up close knows what's really going on, it's not so flagrant that a course marshal won't be able to pretend they don't see it, and anyone who gets sprayed shouldn't be drafting that close directly behind you anyway, so piss on 'em (both figuratively and literally).

As the OP in this thread, I have just come up with a new idea for tri-shorts. Emilio - if you take this idea and run with it, all that ask for is 1 new limited edition (bib and top) kit per year, until the end of time.

Tri shorts should have a little "port" on the "drive" side of the shorts. Up and out of the way of the chamois, but in a place that can be manuevered in front of Mr. Weiner. Possibly a little plastic spount that you can aim away from yourself. Possibly even a "hose attachment" to ensure that nothing is sprayed around, it will simply run the urine off the back of the bike (make sure to hit the brakes a few times before that big downhill to remove any "slick" stuff from your brakes/brake track.).

I can solve your problem - get a catheter condom (just like it sounds - a condom with a long tube extending from the end) run it out the bottom of your shorts and you could have an anti drafting device to boot!

Yeah, but the last time I wore a condom for 6 hours of vigorous "exercise", nobody felt good the next day.

Brilliant. :)

Just read through this whole thread for the first time, and the "How did you Crash your bike?" piece was great. Made me crack up.

I pulled this off last year in an olympic distance on a downhill, that for some reason I just had to go (never have had the need before) . Then l did my first 70.3 last year, and I swear I have never peed that much in my life. Must have gone 5 times on the half, but I did a quick rinse off each time. Had to use the Porta potty in T2, but after that was good for the run.

It definitely is a wonderful feeling once you have done it, because then you don't have to worry about trying to stop.

You are a god! Bravo.

I do it on the trainer before I take it to the streets.

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@floathammerholdon | @partners_in_tri

I enjoyed this post so much I had to respond... I regularly do this while I'm in the water but never had the guts to do it on my bike!

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Sweat is just fat crying
http://mommyhighfive.com

Funny to see this pop back up after several years. As the OP, I haven't pissed on anything with 2 wheels in quite a while. Kids are older, job is more demanding, shoulder and lower back issues have kept on the couch more than I'd like to admit.
I'm playing soccer a few nights a week. I've nearly shit myself a few times. But that's became games are at 8:30 at night and I can't play on an empty stomach.
No wild beavers have crossed my path lately and I haven't whipped out my weiner on any public property. I might try it tomorrow, just for the hell of it.
Wife: Dammit. Put your dick away. This is my dads 80 birthday party.
Me: But the thought of padded spandex shorts, uncomfortable bike seats and wild beavers makes me want take of my pants and pee on your beach cruiser.
Wife: How much have you had to drink?
Me: more than anyone else here. Why do you ask?
Wife: You're an asshole. Put your clothes on.
Me: love you honey. Wanna make out later?

Practice on the spin bike at the gym - it will keep the misses much happier than doing it on the trainer whilst watching tv.

Crank out some watts and let it go, it's quite easy to explain away as sweat, unless you have been on the beet juice ?

WD :-)

Nice
I piss on the bike when I'm on the trainer.

Wife: You're an asshole. Put your clothes on.
Me: love you honey. Wanna make out later?
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I'm gonna need closure to this story

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Take a short break from ST and read my blog:
http://tri-banter.blogspot.com/

Just curious how you stumbled upon this

Same way I got here. Forum search on "little jimmy"

Blame it on the dog...

or child.

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@floathammerholdon | @partners_in_tri

I was just perusing the forum and decided I needed to read it. Not sure how it popped up in the list, but it was a blast to read.

LOL. Thanks for this!

Need to find the "Having runs during a run" thread. That one was pure gold.

Since a couple of years I take care not to drink too much the day before a long distance, and at the day I only drink a coffee in the morning. I proceed by only eating bars in the first hour of the bike. Not before that I start drinking. In this way, I manage to not have to pee on the bike and in some ironmans even not during the run. I do not dehydrate, I drink enough...

So you see everyone has another way to achieve his goals.

the strava fly by with the icon sitting in the middle of a canal in Venice was amazing.

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Pactimo brand ambassador, ask me about promo codes