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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [timboricki] [ In reply to ]
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same as going to the potty in your wetsuit....I will have to try it on the bike!



"Keep those feet moving!" Me
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [timboricki] [ In reply to ]
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timboricki wrote:
I didn't try it on the run.
I came into T-2 and my bladder was feeling a little full. I made a quick change of shorts (from bibs to tri shorts) and for a second I contemplated charging the run with a piss on deck. I decided that since the porta-john at T-2 had no line, that I should use a bathroom.
I didn't have to pee the rest of the way.

I have the same bladder 'limitations'. First time I tried it was in a full where I went 4-5 times on the bike. It was a little trickier because the course was dead flat. The trick was thinking about going whilst peddling with moderate effort. Then coast for a few secs, perhaps take pressure off by standing just enough to get flow commencing then I can sit back down and continue peddling whilst still peeing. Takes concentration mind you.

The first race I did it I was so pumped I also tried it on the run but it sprayed out through my trisuit like a tiger spraying a tree and a group of spectators saw it. IN future races I too decided to use T2 portaloo, which tend to be free as I have usually been towards the front (ie anywhere from 5:50-6:10 hrs in). These end up being quite a long pee but as you too discovered I never felt the need to go again on the run.

I do tend to get a bit of a skin irritation post race right where leg seam meets crotch but not sure if it's urine related or outdated trishort related.

It is a nice feeling each time you go because you can just focus on your riding and not think about the need to go.
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [cliffk110] [ In reply to ]
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cliffk110 wrote:
timboricki wrote:
As "triathletes" we are known as poor bike handlers. I probably fit this description. My main goal on each ride is to keep the rubber side down. I don't need to be trying to pull my weiner out with one hand while trying to steer with the other. I'll just soak my shorts on long races. Training rides- I'll stop somewhere. Shorter races - I can hold it.

"How did you crash your bike?"
"I had my dick in my hand while I was trying to piss over the top/side/bottom of my shorts. I was almost done and ready to give it a good neck-wringing to remove the last drop...when out of nowhwere I ran over a wild beaver. Goddamn beaver made me crash into a parked car. I am lucky that all I did was break my collar bone and orbital socket. The doc said that if I didn't have a handful of penis, I would have been a goner."


first post of any website that actually made me cry from laughing. great job!

+1!

I just started crying I was laughing so hard at this. My boss made me show him the whole thread!

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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [mgalluzz] [ In reply to ]
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mgalluzz wrote:
Ive been trying (unsuccessfully) to do this for so long now. I had to stop 3 times during IMFL (probably lost 5 mins or more) because I just couldnt do it on the bike. I'm guessing the 22 years I've spent teaching myself not to piss myself is sort of getting in the way.


I hope you're not 40 yrs old.
Last edited by: jgarza22: Aug 5, 11 8:12
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [jgarza22] [ In reply to ]
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Hahahaha great post
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [Painless] [ In reply to ]
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Painless wrote:
Geez guys, WOMEN need to pee in their pants, YOU have a friggin' hose for chrissakes. How hard is this?

Its a lot harder than you think... not to mention the whole public nudity aspect of it on a co ed bike course through the center of a populated area. Its one thing when you're in the middle of nowhere, and another when there are people all around you. Plus theres the whole bike seats in the aero position leads to shrinkage making everything that much more difficult. I also hate to think what would happen if I dumped my bike at that moment with no fabric to protect me. Now there's a place I DO NOT want road rash.

This thread is getting funnier by the minute.... I seriously don't understand how people can spend so much time worrying about being aero and tweaking their bikes and clothing and helmets and position to gain precious seconds of time and yet you are willing to pull over to pee. To each their own I guess. But if thats your attitude you might as well run gatorskins, wear a regular helmet, raise your aerobars and get rid of your race wheels.

As long as you have some water onboard to rinse off its not bad at all. On the plus side my bike shoes are now super clean and shiny again since this was the first reason I'd had to clean them.
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [last tri in 83] [ In reply to ]
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last tri in 83 wrote:
Weekend warrior athletes pissing all over themselves to save a few seconds then congratulating each other about it. What a weird sport.

No kidding...under no (normal) circumstance will I intentionally wet myself. And if I did I don't think I'd be posting it on a public forum.
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [kdw] [ In reply to ]
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kdw wrote:
"If not then the ans to the above question is because you will stink of p!ss for the next few hours."


Actually, doesn't stink at all. The thought of people paying $5K+ for a bike, in theory to shave a few seconds off the time they would get with a $500 bike, but then being willing to give up many times that amount of time because they are unwilling to get a little pee on themselves is comical to me.

Right, firstly how dare you, my bike cost a load more than $5k. Now thats off my chest, secondly it does stink dude hence the expression "she smelt of cats and p!ss" "the lift stank of p!ss" "he, she or in this case we stank of p!ss". I don't care about the few seconds hence why I said unless you are on for a win or a spot then stop. I'm not setting the world on fire mid pack and I personally don't want to pee on my bike, bottles, into my socks or even my shoes.

As for the suggestion to just pee over the bib shorts on the go, you are asking the impossible there fella, with my bike handling skills I need to concentrate on the road every second or its good night vienna.

I think there is a macho thing going on here, you need to be in the inner circle to think its OK otherwise you just don't get it and are not a real cyclist. Well in that case I'll stay as I am and call for a pitt stop when I'm out on my group rides :-)
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [spagoli] [ In reply to ]
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my tri shorts have a 9inch inseam and well lets just say with my 12inch...............nevermind.


Tim
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [timboricki] [ In reply to ]
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timboricki wrote:
"How did you crash your bike?"
"I had my dick in my hand while I was trying to piss over the top/side/bottom of my shorts. I was almost done and ready to give it a good neck-wringing to remove the last drop...when out of nowhwere I ran over a wild beaver. Goddamn beaver made me crash into a parked car. I am lucky that all I did was break my collar bone and orbital socket. The doc said that if I didn't have a handful of penis, I would have been a goner."

This had me in tears.

I just read it again and started laughing.

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The first time man split the atom was when the atom tried to hold Jens Voigt's wheel, but cracked.
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [twinracer2] [ In reply to ]
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great thread, I have pissed myself many times.
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [cyclops] [ In reply to ]
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How do you piss, while running and NOT get your socks and shoes wet?
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [johnnie cocaine] [ In reply to ]
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Let me tell you, it's easier to poo while running than pee. Just sayin'
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [TriMike] [ In reply to ]
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I actually did this tactic on a half a few years ago. A classic roadie was there, He would hammer past me, then slow down. I would maintain legal distance but going too slowly. So I would exert the energy to pass him legally then we would suck on my wheel for a couple of mile nearly with overlap, then pass me and slow down. It was like he thought it was a pace line. There was even a van that would pull up next to him on open sections and give him food and water like it was the tour. Ugh. I finally needed to pee, so when he was right on my rear wheel, I slid back behind my saddle and let loose. It worked perfectly. He backed off and I never saw him again until the finish. I still smile thinking about that tool.

TriMike wrote:
This skill can also be usefull if you have some pesky drafters behind you that just won't go away ;-)

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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [timboricki] [ In reply to ]
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I read your title as:

I Pissed my Bike and I Licked It

Eww.

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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [Ohio_Roadie] [ In reply to ]
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Ohio_Roadie wrote:
Why get off the bike? Either pull your bibs/shorts/skinsuit down or hike the leg on whatever you are wearing. Its weird for the first couple times but once you get the hang of it you will wonder why you ever stopped to take a pee. Give a little shake (3 or more is just playing with your self...) and put everything back in the right place then smash the pedals again! Plus I couldn't imagine the smell of your shoes the next day/month/year.

You forgot to mention to check for photographers before sticking anything out of your shorts :)
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [nickwhite] [ In reply to ]
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nickwhite wrote:
I read your title as:

I Pissed my Bike and I Licked It

Eww.

The title of m thread was supposed to sound like the Katy Perry Song - "I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It." I even contemplated looking up all of the lyrics and changing them around to talk about triathlon. Maybe someday when I have nothing better to do.

And for those of you who say "No way am I going to piss on myself. I can't imagine riding in wet shorts." - I felt the same way. But they are TRI SHORTS - they are supposed to get wet and they dry super fast.
And finally - I don't know about you guys. But whenever I stop to take a piss in my cycling shorts, I always seem to put "Captain Winky" back in his cage a little too early. I end up with enough urine in my shorts to think "Dammit. It was stupid to stop." I'd rather be in shorts that are completely wet then in shorts with a a few drips.
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [timboricki] [ In reply to ]
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timboricki wrote:
nickwhite wrote:
I read your title as:

I Pissed my Bike and I Licked It

Eww.

.......I always seem to put "Captain Winky" back in his cage a little too early. I end up with enough urine in my shorts to think "Dammit. It was stupid to stop." I'd rather be in shorts that are completely wet then in shorts with a a few drips.

Then you need to make sure the Captain stays out longer or fling him around a hell of a lot harder dude! No way you should be doubting the stop after the stop itself!
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [timboricki] [ In reply to ]
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timboricki wrote:
As "triathletes" we are known as poor bike handlers. I probably fit this description. My main goal on each ride is to keep the rubber side down. I don't need to be trying to pull my weiner out with one hand while trying to steer with the other. I'll just soak my shorts on long races. Training rides- I'll stop somewhere. Shorter races - I can hold it.

"How did you crash your bike?"
"I had my dick in my hand while I was trying to piss over the top/side/bottom of my shorts. I was almost done and ready to give it a good neck-wringing to remove the last drop...when out of nowhwere I ran over a wild beaver. Goddamn beaver made me crash into a parked car. I am lucky that all I did was break my collar bone and orbital socket. The doc said that if I didn't have a handful of penis, I would have been a goner."

I thought your first post on this topic was awesome. This one just topped it. LOL
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [timboricki] [ In reply to ]
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I can't imagine ever peeing on myself but I have to ask, isn't it itchy?
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [timboricki] [ In reply to ]
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timboricki wrote:
As "triathletes" we are known as poor bike handlers. I probably fit this description. My main goal on each ride is to keep the rubber side down. I don't need to be trying to pull my weiner out with one hand while trying to steer with the other. I'll just soak my shorts on long races. Training rides- I'll stop somewhere. Shorter races - I can hold it.

"How did you crash your bike?"
"I had my dick in my hand while I was trying to piss over the top/side/bottom of my shorts. I was almost done and ready to give it a good neck-wringing to remove the last drop...when out of nowhwere I ran over a wild beaver. Goddamn beaver made me crash into a parked car. I am lucky that all I did was break my collar bone and orbital socket. The doc said that if I didn't have a handful of penis, I would have been a goner."

Thank you. I collapsed in uncontrolled sobs of laughter and had to read this to DH and the kids (9, 11, 15 and 17). We ALL loved it!

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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [timboricki] [ In reply to ]
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timboricki wrote:
when out of nowhwere I ran over a wild beaver.

You're sure it was a "wild" beaver? As opposed to one of those domestic beavers you see running around on the streets all the time?

JD
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [duthemath] [ In reply to ]
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I love wild Beaver. Anytime I can talk about beavers, urine and penis in the same paragraph on a triathlon forum is a great day.
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [TriMike] [ In reply to ]
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I was in a race at mile 20 of the bike I tried to loosen up my bib shorts to pee while riding. The next thing I remember...a squirrel was licking my crotch and a car driver was asking if I was nuts? The driver who was way behind me when I tried to pull myself out of my drawers said I hit a pole and few over my handlebars and never raised my arms to protect myself.
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Re: I Pissed my Bike and I Liked It [timboricki] [ In reply to ]
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Did it on the bike during IMLP back in 2008 (rainy race). Could not do it on the bike during 1/2 IM Syracuse last year. Had to pee on the run and as a result missed going under five hours by 15 seconds. I'll never not pee on the bike again.
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