I go sub-9, get my well-deserved Kona slot, and I too will have a smile. Crap or no crap.

*Cue-ing Budweiser tune*
Slowtwitch Light presents: Real American Heroes
<singing> Real American Heroes <singing>

Today, We Salute you Mr. Iron Man-shit-his-pants.
<Mr. Iron Man-shit-his-pants!>

After swimming a span greater than the Amazon, you pressed.
You biked a 112 miles... More than the years in a century.
We're sure you felt it coming, but did you let that stop you? No,
That Kona Slot was all to important.
<Must have been really important!>

Most would have quit, some would have stopped, but not you.
You crapped yourself!
<Dude, you totally just crapped yourself!>
For the final 15 miles of running on the hot roads of Florida, you pressed;
Torturing the runners behind you with a smell the likes of a rendering plant.
Its ok though Mr. Sheall, if that slot was our dream; We'd have crapped too.

So in 40 years when the grandkids ask if you did anything cool, you can tell them:
I was an Ironman.
So crack open an ice cold Slowtwtich Light, Mr. Iron Man-shit-his-pants,
because we know that 140.6 is a long way and you got to go through a lot of crap to get there.

<Mr. Ironman dude that totally crapped himself...>

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When someone pulls laws out of their @$$, all we end up with are laws that smell like sh!t. -Skippy

hands down funniest post i've read all year. i was actually thinking of how it would sound within the commercial and i think it's perfect.

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Fruit snacks are for winners

Slowman! Come January make sure this is in the running for post of the year.

That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time!!

ditto to that! :)

Thank you, I'm still laughing

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____________________________________________________
"I like you. I'll gladly sit down and have dinner with you after the race. But when the gun goes off, I pretty much hate you, and I want to stomp your guts out. That's racing." -Rappstar

http://train4autism.org/

BRAVO!

very well played!

Dude, you are funny!

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"Good genes are not a requirement, just the obsession to beat ones brains out daily"...the Griz

Outstanding! Very funny!

Congratulations to the guy too for his accomplishment. Poopie drawers or not.

Jay

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45 AG triathlete and terrible BMX racer, Tampa FL

   
this is true HTFU, people talk about it, but this dude lives it.
no joke.

and he really threw down, 1st AG.

If we can get BarryP to do up some music, Mojo to sing the tag lines, I'd be more than willing to do the narration and piece it all together for a you-tube esque slowtwitch commerical!!

We just need a few more pics...

Anybody else know of anything to add??

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When someone pulls laws out of their @$$, all we end up with are laws that smell like sh!t. -Skippy

We need a picture of him making conversation with a hot female volunteer who is into him. That'll show that when you're "the man", you can still score whether you've got brown all over your or not.

Maybe more fitting would be the Captain Morgan's pose with it dripping off his shoe into a puddle on the floor.

Even better... PV has devised a way to make this a global campaign!!

What can brown do for you?
Apparently get you to Kona!

=>

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When someone pulls laws out of their @$$, all we end up with are laws that smell like sh!t. -Skippy

just posting to get it back on the first page

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Fruit snacks are for winners

Thank you much my friend :) Though I am quite surprised more of my LR friends haven't come over here to make similar comedic stylings. Come on people, this is GREAT MATERIAL!!

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When someone pulls laws out of their @$$, all we end up with are laws that smell like sh!t. -Skippy

i just sang this to my family.

thank you sir.

I can't believe people that think this is great. If I was at work and shit my pants, people wouldn't be telling me to HTFU and finish my work. They'd laugh at me and tell me to clean my pants. This dude should've at least made an effort to clean that crap off his legs instead of spreading that crap all over course.

I think he was posting to get my song back on the first page. That being said if he stopped to clean it up how could he show people that he was an Ironman? Wouldn't he then just be Manganese Man??

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When someone pulls laws out of their @$$, all we end up with are laws that smell like sh!t. -Skippy

I think your song is great (poy maybe?) but I am just saying, if this dude didn't KQ, would some people on here still be thinking that he should've kept going with all that shit on his legs. I mean, come on, have a little respect for yourself for goodness sake. I would rather not kq than be known in the tri community as poopman. Never the less, I am getting two full days of great laughs at this dudes expense.

I think at some point it becomes risk/reward and a little bit of internal self struggle. Dude did KQ and win his age group, with a smokin' 9:09. If I could pull of that feat only if I crapped myself, one can only guess but I honestly probably would. If tri is your sole thing and pushing yourself to the extreme is all that matters, I say go for it even if that slot isn't on the line. I'd clap and holler for a 16:59 crapper too. That much dedication and intensity deserves some sort of commendation. I think my comfort level with my own slowness however would preempt my having shat myself.

Like I said earlier in this thread (or perhaps the other one that keeps trying to vie with this thread for top IMFL fecophilia) till anyone else starts paying my entry fees, rent, taxes, etc. I'll crap myself all I like :)

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When someone pulls laws out of their @$$, all we end up with are laws that smell like sh!t. -Skippy

i was posting to get the song back to the front. i love those commercials and laughed my ass off with this one. i keep wondering if i'd do the same if i had to. 15 miles like that is rough. if it were a mile or two maybe, but 15 miles like that. that's just not caring and going for it. poopman = HTFU.

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Fruit snacks are for winners

Several years ago a guy I know was 1st in his AG in LP with 4 miles to finish and HAD TO GO #2. Went into the woods when he couldn't hold it anymore and did what he had to do and wiped himself with some leaves.

Ended up getting passed while he was in the woods AND woke up the next morning with poison ivy all over his bottom!

YES...he went to Kona.

Reading his blog, he seems to got in on a last minute sponsor allocation (Kswiss) . . . I wonder how they might spin this? Make your runs faster with Kswiss!

As I said earlier, he was in some serious pains around mile 11 when I checked his AG progress for him. I wish I coulda told him he had a 30 second cusion. I thought he was kinda being a "dick" by basically stride farting on me as he ran on past after I gave him his division place. I guess he really couldn't help it, and I now appreciate the fact that it was only farts. I reckon a bit later he tried to stride fart again! The rest is history.