In Feb. of 2004 I began riding with a local group of guys. I couldn't say enough GREAT things about them. They were and continue to be encouraging and wonderful. Every good skill that I have developed on my bike I owe to them. They always treat me and each other with respect and care. BUT...every once in awhile a new guy will show up and He will treat me like a rash or worse...ask me out. Now here is my dilemma and where the conflict comes in. People do not ask Joe out for Thai. Nobody singles out Bob at the end of a ride to see if he wants to go on a tour for two. Is it wrong for me to want to be treated like the other cyclists that I ride with? I act like them and I ride like them (draft, paceline and blow snot-rockets). I am the only woman that rides with these guys and most of the time I am just proud to be me but when I get singled out in front of my fellow riders it just feels bad. I don't want to misrepresent the group but some days it's all I can do to be civil when treated like an alien by a newcomer. Riding with this group is good for me. They challenge me every time and I don't want to give up riding with them. I need a new way to look at this (in a positive light) and some suggestions on how to turn it around and just be kind. Thanks.
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Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
Since I'm assuming you're a girl, you're not always going to be treated as "one of the guys". Girls who find themselves in male-dominated envrionments are going to get hit on. Nothing you can do about it... if they're polite, politely say no. If they're not, ask the guy named Record10Ti what you can do with some cycling shoes or a cup of hot coffee.
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Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
That sucks... I never get asked out when I ride with the Dizzy Chicks! I claim discrimination.
Maybe one of the ladies can give you some worthwhile advice, but my guess is that a good looking woman will almost always be singled out in a group of men.
<If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough>
Get Fitter!
Proud member of the Smartasscrew, MONSTER CLUB
Get your FIX today?
Maybe one of the ladies can give you some worthwhile advice, but my guess is that a good looking woman will almost always be singled out in a group of men.
<If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough>
Get Fitter!
Proud member of the Smartasscrew, MONSTER CLUB
Get your FIX today?
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [Khai]
[ In reply to ]
Khai,
I've tried to recruit more women but I'm working against some pretty grim demographics. Maybe I'll suggest that the new guys dress like women. Jk
I've tried to recruit more women but I'm working against some pretty grim demographics. Maybe I'll suggest that the new guys dress like women. Jk
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
"Is it wrong for me to want to be treated like the other cyclists that I ride with? "
It's not wrong to want to be treated like one of the guys, but you have to honest, you are not 'just one of the guys'.
For most of these guys, you are probably one of two things: a mild distraction and/or an incentive to show up to the ride.
For me, ... I'm there to train, focusing on the ride.
- gary
It's not wrong to want to be treated like one of the guys, but you have to honest, you are not 'just one of the guys'.
For most of these guys, you are probably one of two things: a mild distraction and/or an incentive to show up to the ride.
For me, ... I'm there to train, focusing on the ride.
- gary
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
You know, if it's only the newbie guys that are doing it, get together with the regulars and agree to drop whatever guy hits on you. Then laugh at him afterwards.
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Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
[snip]
tell them you'll think about it, but first you have to find some miconazole nitrate for a thing you've got to take care of. that should do the trick.
Dan Empfield
aka Slowman
tell them you'll think about it, but first you have to find some miconazole nitrate for a thing you've got to take care of. that should do the trick.
Dan Empfield
aka Slowman
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
dak: be thankful you are hot enough to get hit on </look on the bright side>
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
I don't intend to sound harsh, however that is just human nature. When a woman hangs out with a bunch of men they will in fact be treated that way. Examine your behavior and try to determine why the men feel it is okay to continually treat you in a way that you don't like. Chances are they are completely clueless that you are even bothered! The next time you are hit you must send them a very clear signal that it is not ok and eventually they should catch on.
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
You're not just like them, you're apparently a single woman. The treating like a rash part might be them trying to show they have no interest in inviting you out for Thai....well, they do, but they are acting like they don't.
I'll let the women chime in with ways to say "no" in a kind way. But I don't see why you should feel bad to be singled out...the "regulars" both know you, apparently like riding with you, see this happen to you a lot, and know that it isn't something you bring onto yourself.
The NY Times had an article about genes a few weeks ago. In numerous animals, from flies to mice, scientists said the males had a "if its a female, try and mate/if its a male, fight it" response. And that response could be turned on and off by manipulating a gene. In fact, they could give females those same marching orders by changing a gene. I don't think we're too far removed from any of the animals mentioned.
I'll let the women chime in with ways to say "no" in a kind way. But I don't see why you should feel bad to be singled out...the "regulars" both know you, apparently like riding with you, see this happen to you a lot, and know that it isn't something you bring onto yourself.
The NY Times had an article about genes a few weeks ago. In numerous animals, from flies to mice, scientists said the males had a "if its a female, try and mate/if its a male, fight it" response. And that response could be turned on and off by manipulating a gene. In fact, they could give females those same marching orders by changing a gene. I don't think we're too far removed from any of the animals mentioned.
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [Slowman]
[ In reply to ]
Dan, I caught that, very clever!
-g
-g
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [trifolk]
[ In reply to ]
"In fact, they could give females those same marching orders by changing a gene. "
End of civilization is near.
End of civilization is near.
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [Slowman]
[ In reply to ]
Hey man...that was Ze Gopha's J.I. not mine ;) I was just trying to help that itchy boy out.
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [Gary Tingley]
[ In reply to ]
Yeah, us guys would just watch the women go for each other and no one would try and do anything to stop it until it was too late!!
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [Slowman]
[ In reply to ]
Mmmm... whiff test
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Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
pictures...we want pictures! You sound like a hottie;)
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
guess i don't understand your dilema...you're riding with a group that has been great for you, but evey now and the a guy asks you out and you're unhappy about it?
if you're that upset over it then tell everyone you're engaged...or, just get over it. it's normal!!
if you're that upset over it then tell everyone you're engaged...or, just get over it. it's normal!!
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
Ah, little sister...enjoy it while it lasts. Eventually, (sadly), someday they will think you are one of the boys and you will be remembering fondly, what it was like to be so desired. And then, you will write anonymous threads like, "I am soooo HOT" just to see how you can excite an easy audience like these ST men.
So, bask in the glow being in the power position of having to fend them off with smart alecky comeback lines and white lies!
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"If you hold on tight to what you think is your thing, you might find you're missing all the rest"
Dave Matthews
So, bask in the glow being in the power position of having to fend them off with smart alecky comeback lines and white lies!
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"If you hold on tight to what you think is your thing, you might find you're missing all the rest"
Dave Matthews
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [Sweet Pink]
[ In reply to ]
that was cute...lol.
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
all is fair in love and war - anonymous
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [dakinilegs]
[ In reply to ]
Put 'em into the curb?
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"Oh man, it's going to take days to kill all these people!" - Jens Voigt
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"Oh man, it's going to take days to kill all these people!" - Jens Voigt
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [jsivvy]
[ In reply to ]
the expression is, kick em to the curb...unless of course you mean deliberately crashing them...lol.
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [kittycat]
[ In reply to ]
Yep, meant deliberately crash them. I think it would be about the best way to ensure the new guys weren't hitting on you - though I expect a few individuals would find it "hot" being taken out by a chick.
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"Oh man, it's going to take days to kill all these people!" - Jens Voigt
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"Oh man, it's going to take days to kill all these people!" - Jens Voigt
Re: Be gentle, it's my first time. [kittycat]
[ In reply to ]
Kittycat-You're right...simply and well put. That is exactly what I would say to me. Unfortunately my stupid feelings are getting in the way. When it does happen I deal and then go home. Sometimes I talk to another guy in the group about it. We laugh about it but, at the end of the day I take it home with me. The dilema is that I feel it undermines my training session. I've worked as hard as everyone else. If someone wants to ask me out, they can do it another time. If someone wants me to prove myself during a ride I will do it within the parameters of what is safe. Point being...I'm there to work like everyone else, not to hook up.
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dakinilegs: Jul 27, 05 19:17
I wanna be honest here, girls on bikes are hot, but if I was lucky enough to have a nice, beautiful woman in a training ride i would wait for a signal that i am able to put a move on her. Which I believe is the only way to actually get involved with someone. Any guy that hits on you blatently more than once should be given the b@%#$ treatment. Dont forget the ol frame pump in the wheel move though, that should come in handy for those pesky ones.