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Re: Balancing tri and family life [RCCo] [ In reply to ]
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I've got 2 teenagers heavily into sports so almost everyday after work is shuttling them around. In another couple of weeks it's AAU basketball and away tournaments almost every weekend until June. All my workouts are done before work. Usually get up between 3-4am and I'm usually done with everything before 5:30. Only days I'm a bit later is when I swim. Long bikes on Saturday are also done early. Usually completed by 6-7 am. Really long rides are done by 9am which still gives me the day to spend with the family. Sunday I take the day off to do whatever everyone else wants to do. Plus it allows me to go out with my wife on Saturday nights since I don't have to be up at the crack of dawn to workout.
I've found my body adapts to 5-6 hrs of sleep a night pretty well. Plus with early morning runs & rides, there is almost no traffic. I actually find it safer.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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During the week, I just have to fit it all in in the morning before others are awake, which means I'm often getting up at 430am. Nights are for family. On occasion, I'm able to sneak out of work at lunchtime to get a swim in.

On weekends, my wife gives me Saturday morning on my own (long ride, short run), and I give her Sunday morning on her own, to do whatever she wants. I'll sometimes run on Sundays before my son wakes up.

During peak IM training, my wife and I agree on 2-3 nights a week when I will crash early, and she can plan around that and get her own stuff done. That seems to be working. I couldn't maintain this schedule if I didn't get in a couple early bedtimes a week.

When time is short, it's typically the swims that I sacrifice.

It's all a giant balance. Good luck.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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We had our first son 21 months ago. Since then I've been training about half as much as I used to, fitting it in wherever I can. My race times are slower than pre-kids, but I'm OK with that because my life has changed for the better by having a son and I'm still having fun out there on the course. I pretty much train as much as my wife will let me, trading training time for watching the kid while she goes on hikes. I work full-time, so I have to be sensitive to my wife's freetime when I'm home and it seems to work out OK. Unless you are a pro, you just have to remember that you do tris for fun.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [gahddenbooi] [ In reply to ]
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Others will disagree but I don't think that there should be any balance early on. I have a 2 and 4 year old and at this point they are always priority 1a and 1b, my marriage is priority 2 and my income is priority 3, and finally my personal stuff is a distant 4th. I rarely ever sacrifice them for me, and at this point in their development I don't think it's fair to.

So what do I do? I get time before they are awake. They wake up at 6:15am like clockwork so I get up at 4:15. On weekends I get a little bit of time while they're awake because they spend that time with mom, and then with me when it's mom's turn. A 2nd workout comes at lunch while I'm at work so long as it does not endanger my work status. And that's how I balance it.

Maybe this will change when they're older, but at this point circumstances don't allow that. And taking time from them for me would be unfair to them.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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Married, two kids (4 & 2). I did IMMT last year (I don't recommend it). Like others I utilize early mornings and less so evenings when they go to sleep. I also have the luxury of working from home a few days a week so I can sneak in some training then. The key for me was a running stroller. After work I would run the kids to a nearby park. Take a break in the middle with the kiddos and then run back. Intervals into the wind with a running stroller are a good time (insert sarcasm here). My wife works out but nothing tri or running related. She is understanding but I always try to make her aware of longer workouts, or days I need some time. Communication and planning are key. I do most of my bikes on the trainer as its just easier for the family. I have a play area in the basement next to where I ride. I really only do the longer stuff on the roads. Now that I've switched over to Oly's and the occasional Half it is easier. The key for me was always deferring to the family. Only pushing to do a workout when I really needed to. Its possible for sure, just requires more planning and understanding from all parties.

The very best part of IMMT for me was seeing my kids. They were actually disappointed they couldn't come on the run in the stroller with me!
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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Have 2 girls under the age of 5 and a wife that puts up with tri. For me the biggest factor is being able to put my training outside of normal hours that don't impact anything with the family.

Most days that means gym or trainer at 430/5am, then off to work and home around 4pm. Every evening is full family time. Weekends are early hours training usually with a post workout breakfast with the family as everyone wakes up or a gym session during afternoon naps for everyone else.

Basically I have to try to impact family life as little as possible 90 percent of the time so that the 10 percent that it does isn't overly selfish
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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Move out and it will be a lot easier
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Per] [ In reply to ]
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Per wrote:
Often, she will run x miles in one direction...I'll wait a little bit, load the kids in the minivan and go meet here somewhere...and I'll run back while she takes the kids. It's fun, it works and we both get "our" time.

That is cool!

My race site: https://racesandplaces.wixsite.com/racesandplaces
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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jogging stroller, take your kids and give wife a break

run commute rather than drive

give up swimming

give up triathlon. That's what I've done for now. Family too important. I will be back when they are older.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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Fit triathlon around your life, do not fit your life around triathlon.

Decide where triathlon fits in your priorities in life.

Prioritize the time you have for it based on that.

Schedule ahead of time when you can get it in.

Accept that you might only be able to train 4x/week or only for 30-45 minutes a day. You don't need to be crazy active to be healthy.

Make sure your goals in triathlon can fit into the balance of your life.

Make sure you and those you care about most are happy.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [CU427] [ In reply to ]
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As the kids get a little older, you'll be busy with their activities at school too. The time crunch situation won't go away for a long time.

Someone already posted this, but you need to set up a treadmill and bike trainer at home. I have three kids, and there's no way I could go out regularly to bike and run. But with a treadmill and bike trainer at home, I can squeeze in a 45 minute bike or 20 minute run every day.

I usually fit in a longer bike and run once a week.

Also, what do you do at lunchtime? Is there a gym at work or nearby? You could hit weights or swim there at lunch. Or before/after work.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jigsy] [ In reply to ]
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Jigsy wrote:
Per wrote:
Often, she will run x miles in one direction...I'll wait a little bit, load the kids in the minivan and go meet her somewhere...and I'll run back while she takes the kids. It's fun, it works and we both get "our" time.


That is cool!

Thanks--we use it to explore new routes so we don't feel like we are trudging down the same paths.

I have been concentrating on the olympic length events, so there aren't really long slogs required. My runs are typically 5-6 miles and either fast or hilly and my bike "rides" are sweat-drenched torture, so not a lot of long/easy days in the mix--but it has been good enough to do OK with the limited training time.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [marklemcd] [ In reply to ]
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marklemcd wrote:
Others will disagree but I don't think that there should be any balance early on. I have a 2 and 4 year old and at this point they are always priority 1a and 1b, my marriage is priority 2 and my income is priority 3, and finally my personal stuff is a distant 4th

Interesting - I'd put marriage as priority 1. If you 2 are not happy - the house will be a terrible place.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [marklemcd] [ In reply to ]
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marklemcd wrote:
I have a 2 and 4 year old...............They wake up at 6:15am like clockwork.


You are soooo freaking lucky!

I have an 18 month and 4 year old. Sometimes they are up and alive at 5am other days its 8am, and sometimes even the lucky 2am!
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [ In reply to ]
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I don't envy those training for multiple sports, I just do cycling and I can barely fit in the time to do things the way I think I need to do them. I'm extremely fortunate that I get to do a lot of my work from home, so I can get on during the day between different work things, because otherwise I don't think I'd get in the quality that I do between spending time with my son and wife at the end of the day. I'll admit, I sometimes let my guilt over training affect weekend stuff when I could conceivably do some long stuff (I tend to keep it to 2hrs per a lot of trainerroad plans), but honestly I tend to get resentful and it affects my mood in a non-healthy way. To be fair to myself, I do all the laundry, most of the day to day school logistics for son, and wake up early on weekends with him all the time, so I shouldn't really feel bad about doing stuff for myself. And I think the advice I'd give to others is that if you're spending quality with family and doing your share (or more) to help keep things running, then you owe it to yourself to fuel this crazy hobby.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [B.McMaster] [ In reply to ]
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B.McMaster wrote:
marklemcd wrote:
Others will disagree but I don't think that there should be any balance early on. I have a 2 and 4 year old and at this point they are always priority 1a and 1b, my marriage is priority 2 and my income is priority 3, and finally my personal stuff is a distant 4th


Interesting - I'd put marriage as priority 1. If you 2 are not happy - the house will be a terrible place.

Yeah it's hard to really rank or argue with that, it should really all be priority 1. I guess I put it that way because I feel like they had no choice but to be born and it's on me to make sure they have a safe and loving environment to grow in. But then that argues for a good marriage too.

Either way, sports is a distant priority.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [AndysStrongAle] [ In reply to ]
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AndysStrongAle wrote:
marklemcd wrote:
I have a 2 and 4 year old...............They wake up at 6:15am like clockwork.



You are soooo freaking lucky!

I have an 18 month and 4 year old. Sometimes they are up and alive at 5am other days its 8am, and sometimes even the lucky 2am!

This will piss you off even more....the 4 year old will wake up and just play with the stuffed animals in her bed until we come get her. She's never gotten out of bed on her own.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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I'm a father of seven children (ages 6 months to 15) and a triathlete so I realise I am a little bit of an outlier. I believe it is possible to train for and race triathlons and still spend time with your family. My personal view is that when I am training and racing well I am a much happier, more fulfilled person and this allows me to be a much better parent and role model for my kids. I don't know that I have any secret sauce, but here are my best tips:

1. Identify the dead spots in your day when you can get the training in. For me, it is getting up early and training 5.30-7 am everyday.
2. Don't forget the value of short hard workouts - I get 40 minutes at lunch so when I run at lunch I run hard; some days I lift at lunch and again it's 30 minutes of focused training.
3. Commute to work on your bike or on foot if possible. I can run to my workplace in 30 minutes, so some days my run training is running to work and running home.
4. Find a masters swim club and join up. These groups often swim in the mornings and all you have to do is show up, dive in and push yourself. Swimming is the hardest sport for me to schedule so having the MSC really helps.
5. Get a bike trainer set up in your basement/shed. I set my alarm for 5.20 am and am pedaling by 5.30 am. I jump off the bike at 7.20 am and am driving or running to work at 7.30 am (quick changes also prepare you for transitions in races!).
6. Have run gear with you at all times. I have a bag that comes with me and if a meeting is cancelled or if I find I have a slot open up, I throw on the shoes and run.
7. Get to bed early, don't watch TV.
8. Take your kids to your races so they can see why daddy rides a bike in the shed in the dark when it is -20 at 5.30 in the morning in January. Kids don't listen to or remember much of what you say to them but they watch you like hawks and will copy everything you do, so being a good role model is really important. I feel as though triathletes are usually amazing role models: we set goals, we train hard, we deal with adversity, we pursue self-improvement, we love life and we are tough.

Best of luck, I just wanted to be a voice in this forum that lets you know you do not have to choose between being a good dad and being a good triathlete, you can do both you just have to be organised and motivated.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [samtridad] [ In reply to ]
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I have to agree with this post and don't buy the "fitting" triathlon into life paradigm. I'm married with 4 kids- twin 5 year olds, 4, and 1. My wife is an active runner also. We both work 40h professional jobs. We don't fit our training into our life but rather prioritize it and make sure it gets done. My wife has told me repeatedly that I'm much happier when I work out regularly. We figure out what our workouts for the week are and plan for them to happen. I ride after work at night, run at 5 am and swim immediately after work on my way home. I rarely skip workouts except when sick or if something super unexpected has happened.

Our kids have grown up seeing us workout regularly and expect it. They still get to do their sports and birthday parties and have friends over. They have plenty of fun and aren't missing out. If anything, they get to see scheduling and time prioritization in action and see the importance of living a healthy lifestyle.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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I am quotating this from someone else:
Career
Triathlon
Family
You really can only do 2 of these at a high level. I have found this to be very true in my life. I think at some point we need to be honest with ourself and accept that by prioritizing the list, the bottom item will get short changed and the results will be whatever they will be.
Good luck.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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Not necessarily advice on time management, but one of my favorites things is having my son ride bike while I run. Started this when he first learned to ride and he’s 12 now. These runs are always my favorite because the conversations are great. I am lucky though in that I have lots of bike paths where I live so it’s safe.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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My progression of family + triathlon:


1 kid = no changes really

2 kids = this shit is inconvenient

3 kids = Jesus Christ how do I have an ironman in 6 weeks? I swear to god it was November when I went to bed last night.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [sentania] [ In reply to ]
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I'm worn out. Sometimes it seems like I am a single parent :-p
I cook dinner 4/7 nights, I clean(Really got to get the replacement Vacuum Robot battery), I do the laundry(the amount of clothes the wife and kids go thru!! I literally can count 1 set of mine and then 3sets of theirs per person!), I bathe the children (or I let them bathe themselves) most of the time and I send them to school in the mornings.

it's tough and I think i'm overreaching but my thinking is trying to reduce the amount of "complain" i get from the wife from spending hours doing "training".

5-7hours of training is what I can fit into my schedule currently. Wish it could be more. Then again, wish I could be younger too. LOLz

Gotta think of a way to get myself out of this predicament which I'm putting myself in.
Last edited by: myjunk: Mar 13, 18 23:31
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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I read this entire post hoping for a secret answer that I’d been missing

Didn’t find it

Have 3 under 3. Used to train 15 hours / week for IM and now struggle to get in more than 6

I just cycle now. Almost all indoors, occasionally get in a short-ish weekend ride with the boys

I do my training most days at 430 and I’m in the house helping with breakfast by 600

I’ve been at this 10 years now so my wife gets it

I’ve completely come to realization I won’t be as fast as I was, I’ll never reach my “full potential” with reduced training ... but actually the decline doesn’t bug me that much.

I look forward to my 60 mins “me” time and spend almost every other second w my family. It’s less lifetime PRs anymore and more about “new” PRs based on the new training regime i have

It’s possible and still fun. Just probably need to recalibrate expectations a bit if you’re like me
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [samtridad] [ In reply to ]
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"Kids don't listen to or remember much of what you say to them but they watch you like hawks and will copy everything you do, so being a good role model is really important"


Sage advice.....well put.
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