I've been to Port Moody and a lot of other places on this and several other continents. Believe me, there are a**holes all over this world. Some times it just seems that most of them live in our neigbourhood.

Do yourself a favour and make peace with how you are going to deal with something that there is usually nothing you can do about. I try not to let them get under my skin (occasionaly one of them will raise a**holeness to a new high, and gets me upset). Short of taking the plate # and reporting them to police - there is not much we can do. If I am in a rage then I don't think of getting the plate # until too late, and if I am in my zone then I quickly blow it off and don't let it distract me from my ride.

My .02

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put the mettle to the pedal

I would smash a full water bottle into their car (face if the window is open). I have on more than one occasion put a cleat (Time cleat too) into the fender of a jerks car.

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What if the Hokey Pokey is what it is all about?

You're quicker on the draw than I am. Or maybe my locals drive faster than yours. I ride in rural areas, where no one drives slow and actually meeting up with the bad driver just doesn't happen.

Maybe I am simply more fortunate than the general population of riders in that I have had probably only a handful of run-ins in my short (3 years) cycling experience.

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put the mettle to the pedal

Totally agree. I had an 'interesting' experience this Saturday on an easy 3 hour ride. Towards the end of it, an angry individual (55 year old, volvo driver) blasted me and a training partner while behind us traveling up a single 15mph green lane. My friend rode on and I pulled over to let him past. Anyhow, down came his window accompanied by a stream of abuse. I responded with the why's and wherefores of our road traffic act, along with some colourful language of my own. He countered by veering his car towards me at the junction at the end of the road. As he did so, I happened to be loosing a wad of spit from my throat, which unfortunately sailed through his open window and landed in his eye. Had I tried to sharpshoot some spittle in this direction, I would have undoubtedly failed. Needless to say, he was far from impressed. This was followed by incredulous laughter on my part and as the gravity of the situation became apparent, I decided putting the hammer down to try and put some distance between us was prudent. Due to the nature of the lanes used I was held up by some tourists in hire cars enabling him to catch up to within an inch of my rear wheel. I then started to formulate a plan to extricate myself from my dire straits. To cut a long story short, I bombed down a few mountainbike trails on my roadbike and evaded him. However, unbeknown to me, he is a member of the 'Honorary Police', a throwback to the feudal, self-governing nature of my island. These people tend to direct traffic when the traffic police are caught short and bust young boys for skateboarding or chewing gum. Sadly, he managed to summon another 'Honorary Policeman' and a regular police dog handling unit to the scene within ten minutes. Luckily, my cunning plan of hiding my bike in some bushes, losing my cycling jersey, helmet, knee-warmers and sunnies and masquerading as a runner (with carbon soled SPD-Ls) seemed to work. Five km's later I reached my car, changed into my running gear and drove back to collect my discarded cycling gear. The police dog-handler was still sniffing around. Henceforth, I shall not be loosing off any spittle which is supplementary to requirements in the vicinity of irate car drivers.

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"Language most shows a man: Speak, that I may see thee. It springs out of the most retired and inmost parts of us, and is the image of the parents of it, the mind. No glass so mirrors a man's form or likeness so true as his speech." - Ben Jonson, Timber, or Discoveries made upon Men and Matter.

If mace or pepper spray is legal where you are, get some and DON'T BE AFRAID TO USE IT!!!!

I have only maced two motorists in my recent adult life as a cyclist (ten years). Brandishing the mace usually does wonders for people who think they can threaten you. Make sure your pepper spray is not expired, and practise your aim.

I did mace a guy once...never got another bottle. I think I may need to pick up some more Halt!



"Jeesh Officer, I am just a cyclist - you think I just go around spraying motorists with Mace unprovoked? I am not in a 2 ton car, why would I start a fight".......

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What if the Hokey Pokey is what it is all about?

Did you report them to the police? Mace for people and water bottles for dogs!

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Any word when Fuel Belt will be coming out with their 2004 Abuse Prevention belts. I have heard that in addition to the Gu and drink holders there will be a mace holder and switchblade case. For 2005, word is that they are are working on a gun rack. Cooool.

word is that Frank Renhelt is working on a disc and trispoke with Ben-hur like features...like Messala's wheels...some nice little blades on the side that will shred car tires.

also heard that Frank Day is working on a pair of powercranks that come of the BB very easily and can be used as a hammer.

If you were out for a ride and were accosted by an a**hole waving a loaded gun at you, would you spit at them or kick them? Probably not, you'd get the hell out. So why antagonize another a**hole driving a 2 ton deadly weapon into possibly attacking you with it? Makes no sense. As galling as it may be, do your best to ignore and avoid the jerks, note their license plate number, and continue on until you can reach a safer place. Then use your best weapon, a cell phone, and call the police.

GBJ - your story is quite amazing - funny how often we "hit the spot" when we aren't trying and couldn't repeat in a million tries!

Bunnyman - the mace idea is great. Never thought of it before because I started my tri career in South Africa - where you never take a knife to a gun fight!! The driving there is without doubt the worst I have ever experienced and the taxis's who cause the majority of the problems were usually armed - at least a hand gun and often an AK 47 or similar. No use loosing your cool as you end up dead!! However in a more civilized society mace may be an option. I tried to take the plates and in my anger kind of forgot the number on the way ...

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GBJ - Glad you got away unscathed... but what about the next rider that the 'honorary police' jerk runs into? He's only gonna be more pissed from his encounter with you... and that next rider may or may not be as resourceful as you... just a thought...

I carry a cell phone with a camera built in. I think it's always a good idea to carry a phone with you anyways, you don't need to turn on the ringer if you don't want to get calls. You never know when you might have a mechanical or crash and a phone can come in mighty handy.

And if you can get pictures of someone swinging at you along with their license plate you could have them arrested.