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A Life Remembered
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My grandfather has lay in an ICU bed for the last three weeks, suffering from a severe pneumonia, breathing with the help of a ventilator. He has been in a drug induced coma the entire time. He is 81 years old. The doctors have tried to care for him, but his condition has not improved.

Tomorrow, the ventilator will be turned off.

He was an athletic young man running track and playing football. He did not attend college, but was drafted into the army. He served his country in World War II and never once complained. His discharge papers say he served for 4 years 9 months and 2 days. He received an honorable discharge with the rank of Master Sargent. With the 2nd Armored Division he drove a tank through Germany, North Africa, France, and Sicily. He loved his country.

After the war he came home, married and raised two children. He continued to work manual labor jobs, trying to make ends meet, while his body progressively failed around him. His god damned broken body failed him, but his mind remained sharp as a razor. His physical situation frustrated him, crippled him, and made him into a hard son of a bitch. But he never complained.

When given the opportunity, he would straighten you out. Tell you how you should be doing things and why you were on the wrong track. All the while he puffed away on cheap cigarettes. While they probably caused his death, they were his only vice. How do you deny something as simple as a smoke, when he has been denied so much else?

Tomorrow the ventilator will be turned off, but the world will continue to turn. People will go to work. The will laugh, fight, train. They will do everything they always do, content that tomorrow will come and they will have another go. Oblivious to the fact that there are no guarantees, no round trip tickets, and no refunds.

My grandfather knew the score more acutely than most. He seen life vanish in an instant in battle, only to watch his live slip through his fingers for the next 60 years like so much sand. But he never once complained.

He will be sorely missed.
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Re: A Life Remembered [Matt Boutte] [ In reply to ]
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Matt

Sounds like you are getting a handle on a difficult problem. I think I feel a little anger which you will cope with. My father had a similar life dying of lung cancer. You must have loves your grandfather very much so let him be your training partner. best of wishes mike
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Re: A Life Remembered [Matt Boutte] [ In reply to ]
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I'm not sure what the right thing to say in a situation like this is. In real-life I guess I'd just give ya an elbow nudge while standing next to ya, and a quick slight head nod would ask "You doing alright man?"

I hope every thing goes as well for the family as it possibly can. I'm not referring to tomorrow, I'm referring to the healing process. Tomorrow will be a difficult day to say the least.

Let your grandfather know that his family isn't the only one that appreciates and respects his service for the country.

Your grandfater sounds like the guy you go to when you need advise rather than when you're looking for what you want to hear.

=======================
-- Every morning brings opportunity;
Each evening offers judgement. --
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Re: A Life Remembered [Matt Boutte] [ In reply to ]
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Lots of love dude. A good Granddad is worth more than any treasure. My heart is with you and I hope you find comfort in his memory.

customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.
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Re: A Life Remembered [Matt Boutte] [ In reply to ]
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Hello Matt,

I am with you, because my own grandfather has so much in common with yours.

He joined the army for WWII, stayed in the army for 20 years then worked even harder to pay his children's studies etc, never complaining.

Two years ago, he left us and it was a hard time but last christmas, I went to the cemetery to see his grave and was so happy to be close to him again !

He is always in my heart and in my mind. I think of him when I have difficult times, he's my support.

I'm with you, sincerely.
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Re: A Life Remembered [TheBigFrog] [ In reply to ]
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We had to unplug my father last week. He was in a coma for about two weeks prior to his death. We had a funeral in Iowa on Saturday, another is today (that I am not at) with burrial next to his mother in New Jersey.



There are no words.

----------------------------------------------------------

What if the Hokey Pokey is what it is all about?
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Re: A Life Remembered [Matt Boutte] [ In reply to ]
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I am in Denver for my Uncle's burial. It will be tomorrow morning, with snow and sub-freezing temperatures. Seems kind of fitting somehow, as he was with the Army in Korea that winter that the Chinese crossed the Yalu. He smoked too, and survived lung cancer only to die of pnuemonia.

You are not alone--
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Re: A Life Remembered [Matt Boutte] [ In reply to ]
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Matt,

I don't know what to say other than I'm struggling with many of the same things that you are.

My wife and I lost a baby during the last few days of my wife's pregnancy this fall -- just out of nowhere -- and it's been a terribly crushing thing to go through. And now (and I don't mean to trivialize any human life here) we're home watching our old cat, our companion for the past 15 years, die of heart failure, barring any miracles (send out good thoughts!). Between this, and between losing two young cousins to car accidents, I am only just starting to realize just how integral death is to life, and how everything can change in a moment, and it is just a truly, truly depressing thing to realize. Although I am still grieving a lot over the loss of my child, I do know this. That things will get better in time. You will always mourn the loss of your grandfather, but you will find a way to carry his memory with you, and you will integrate this loss into your life and let it make you a wiser, more compassionate person who knows that life is, indeed, short and that there is little time to waste.

I'm very sorry for what you're going through, and I wish you and your family lots of strength.


Best,

Dan
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Re: A Life Remembered [Matt Boutte] [ In reply to ]
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My wife and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. 21 years ago, my Grandfather lay in the same condition as yours. A miler in high school, he competed at a higher level than I ever have. He was a flier in WWI. He was in England waiting to deploy to France when the war ended. He worked as a banker and was a farmer his whole life. He raised two daughters with my Grandmother. Toward the end, pneumonia got to him too. I think that given the choice he would have left this life a month earlier rather than suffer through the treatments he had in that time. My sister was with him the day before he died, and she told him I had gotten engaged. He 'surfaced' briefly and acknowledged what she told him.

Sometimes when I think I have had a hard day, I look at his picture, or one of my great-grandfather and his cronies, and think 'I have it so easy'.

Savor the memories of your grandfather. May his passing be peaceful. Grieve, remember, and do things in a way he would appreciate. My Grandfather was, in his words, 'a tough old bird'. Yours too, it sounds like.

My condolences

Tom C

Tom C
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Re: A Life Remembered [Matt Boutte] [ In reply to ]
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Thank you all for you thoughts, prayers, and kind words.

My grandfather died yesterday morning at 3:10 am. I was with him, and was relieved to see him go.

He will be missed.
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